Poetry competition CLOSED 15th May 2016 10:38pm
WINNER
_shadoe_ (yiyi)
_shadoe_ (yiyi)
mental illness
Deleting my entry.
I was just recently diagnosed with depression (My friends had previously assured me I had BPD, but for all I know, the psychiatrist I am yet to speak with might say I have something else).
Good luck to everyone who entered!
I was just recently diagnosed with depression (My friends had previously assured me I had BPD, but for all I know, the psychiatrist I am yet to speak with might say I have something else).
Good luck to everyone who entered!
Seeds of Insanity
He loves me, he loves me not...
Can you hear the soft petals when they drop?
Listen closely if you wish.
Hickory, dickory dock
the mouse ran up the clock...
Can you feel time when it stops inside your mind?
Hickory dickory dock
a child plays in the dark...
Cover your ears for the little girl draws near
her lullaby's are of the fractured kind
just below her breath there's a constant hum of death
Her eyes are emerald orbs of swirling rage,
hard-set and ready to burn into your depth.
I knew from the beginning she was the instiller of fear
and the carrier of death.
I knelt next to her in a spiritual desert and prayed to a godless sun,
while in turn, she prayed not, but called upon a deity; a vengeful demon.
Five, four, three, two, one...
remember I prayed to a godless sun.
Itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout...
mom pulled the trigger, her life is over now
[.]
[I miss you and your madness mom]
He loves me, he loves me not...
Can you hear the soft petals when they drop?
Listen closely if you wish.
Hickory, dickory dock
the mouse ran up the clock...
Can you feel time when it stops inside your mind?
Hickory dickory dock
a child plays in the dark...
Cover your ears for the little girl draws near
her lullaby's are of the fractured kind
just below her breath there's a constant hum of death
Her eyes are emerald orbs of swirling rage,
hard-set and ready to burn into your depth.
I knew from the beginning she was the instiller of fear
and the carrier of death.
I knelt next to her in a spiritual desert and prayed to a godless sun,
while in turn, she prayed not, but called upon a deity; a vengeful demon.
Five, four, three, two, one...
remember I prayed to a godless sun.
Itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout...
mom pulled the trigger, her life is over now
[.]
[I miss you and your madness mom]
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
Anxious Thoughts
I want to
Invert the shadows of my mind
turn the dark spaces between thoughts to the blaze of a summers day between nights
I don't want these doubts any more
no more so called substantial questions
that grow from the tiny seeds of thoughts
take root in the essence of my being
and become the tree of my life with branches spreading into the horizon
within the cramped space of a few short hours
I am so tired
of having my thoughts run in circles
trapped in routine
knowing the world Is wider than the beaten track I've worn into the ground
but fear is a blinder that's hard to see past
so rather than stretch my hopes into the beautiful abyss of the unknown
I keep them locked away
shackled to the empty threats of fear
but hiding hope from your heart turns a man hollow
And I'm tired of feeling low
So
I'll dive head first into every story that didn't end well
and let my hopes learn their lessons from tales drowning in sorrows
But keep my heart open to the beauty of the Unknown
And let my lips sing praises of brave fools who never gave up
because I'm tired
And I've heard that hope can sustain you
I want to
Invert the shadows of my mind
turn the dark spaces between thoughts to the blaze of a summers day between nights
I don't want these doubts any more
no more so called substantial questions
that grow from the tiny seeds of thoughts
take root in the essence of my being
and become the tree of my life with branches spreading into the horizon
within the cramped space of a few short hours
I am so tired
of having my thoughts run in circles
trapped in routine
knowing the world Is wider than the beaten track I've worn into the ground
but fear is a blinder that's hard to see past
so rather than stretch my hopes into the beautiful abyss of the unknown
I keep them locked away
shackled to the empty threats of fear
but hiding hope from your heart turns a man hollow
And I'm tired of feeling low
So
I'll dive head first into every story that didn't end well
and let my hopes learn their lessons from tales drowning in sorrows
But keep my heart open to the beauty of the Unknown
And let my lips sing praises of brave fools who never gave up
because I'm tired
And I've heard that hope can sustain you
My mind twitch
And memory
Of hurt by fuck
And young girl taught to suck
Good suck Jen suck....
And things
Unfit for adult human beings....
Not that I was..
To them.
I was a hole
To cram into
And became unwhole
Torn in two.....
And grew up fighting
Sometimes I bite....
When I feel shoved...
But I was bitten so many times first..
That it is amazing enough....
That my bigger urge
Is to love....
And memory
Of hurt by fuck
And young girl taught to suck
Good suck Jen suck....
And things
Unfit for adult human beings....
Not that I was..
To them.
I was a hole
To cram into
And became unwhole
Torn in two.....
And grew up fighting
Sometimes I bite....
When I feel shoved...
But I was bitten so many times first..
That it is amazing enough....
That my bigger urge
Is to love....
OCD
©Oxy2016Dup
All Rights Reserved
I know I gotta stop
But a strong urge nudge my gut
I need to sleep and rest
But my mind still races
Read! Read! Read! Read!
Until the whole series' finished
Draw! Draw! Draw! Draw!
Until my hand can't move no more
Watch! Watch! Watch! Watch!
Until all season episode's finale
At one time or the other
I get to obsess on something
At 13, I read the Bible from cover to cover continously without even a rest.
At 16, I learned crotcheting
And created hundreds of coin purse
At 18, I got interested with social issues
Carried my causes to the extreme
At 20, I became a delinquent
Didn't stop till I am a chain smoker and a drunkard
Few other things I learned by obsessing
Some, good for me, few were destructive
Up to know, I am still battling
With my current obsession
And I knew, I would have another
And another, and another after another
Almost as painful as unfulfilled desire
Almost as gut-wrenching as obstructed pee
One, two, three
I gotta count steps.
Fuck! I lost count
Need to go down and start climbing up again.
©Oxy2016Dup
All Rights Reserved
I know I gotta stop
But a strong urge nudge my gut
I need to sleep and rest
But my mind still races
Read! Read! Read! Read!
Until the whole series' finished
Draw! Draw! Draw! Draw!
Until my hand can't move no more
Watch! Watch! Watch! Watch!
Until all season episode's finale
At one time or the other
I get to obsess on something
At 13, I read the Bible from cover to cover continously without even a rest.
At 16, I learned crotcheting
And created hundreds of coin purse
At 18, I got interested with social issues
Carried my causes to the extreme
At 20, I became a delinquent
Didn't stop till I am a chain smoker and a drunkard
Few other things I learned by obsessing
Some, good for me, few were destructive
Up to know, I am still battling
With my current obsession
And I knew, I would have another
And another, and another after another
Almost as painful as unfulfilled desire
Almost as gut-wrenching as obstructed pee
One, two, three
I gotta count steps.
Fuck! I lost count
Need to go down and start climbing up again.
THE BLACK DOG
Don't look away because I'm getting real with it
Talking about depression how it feels and how to deal with it
It's something that money and cars and women won't heal
So listen for a minute while I lay it down for real
You can't understand it if you haven't been through
So I'm going to try to paint a verbal picture for you
They call it the Black Dog
He comes and goes without please
He brings the black cloud
That will force you to your knees
That dark bubble that engulfs and surrounds your clear mind
Will leave you clouded and full of bad thoughts the worst kind
The first time I had a taste I thought today's a bad day
Two months later still nothing has gone my way
Motivation is gone sleep sleep away for so long
It's a sad song and if you change channels these thoughts will be gone
But that's not how it works
You have no choice in this matter
Medication or toughen up
I always had to choose the latter
If a man was on a ledge I would know just what to say
Because I admit I talk myself down every day
It's inherent it's genetic
Not something I chose
But I choose to expel it
Using deft verbal prose
A good day for some can leave me cowering in fear
Because I feel the Black Dog
His growling is so near
A friend said she should ask people how their day is more often
A friend can chase those clouds and make those dark thoughts soften
I've been in a place I never thought I'd return from
I've been at my lowest and heard people say I'm wrong
Saying that I'm weak and that my courage is worthless
When I just can't escape I crave a life that is curseless
Keep your head up and just remember one thing
Lightning strikes from the ground up
So find your power within
Find something that lights your fire and something to hold on to
Tell yourself it's worth living even if you don't want to
If you suffer I suffer we are in this together
I will keep watch regardless of weather
The Black Dog scares me but I'm strong and I know it
You have the power too and I'll help you to show it
Depression is real but it's never your fault though
If you're in this with me then I just want you to know
I love you and you're needed so please keep on going
I'm trying to save us all with the hope that I'm sowing
Smile today because tomorrow might be bad
But regardless of mental illness I'm alive and I'm glad
Don't look away because I'm getting real with it
Talking about depression how it feels and how to deal with it
It's something that money and cars and women won't heal
So listen for a minute while I lay it down for real
You can't understand it if you haven't been through
So I'm going to try to paint a verbal picture for you
They call it the Black Dog
He comes and goes without please
He brings the black cloud
That will force you to your knees
That dark bubble that engulfs and surrounds your clear mind
Will leave you clouded and full of bad thoughts the worst kind
The first time I had a taste I thought today's a bad day
Two months later still nothing has gone my way
Motivation is gone sleep sleep away for so long
It's a sad song and if you change channels these thoughts will be gone
But that's not how it works
You have no choice in this matter
Medication or toughen up
I always had to choose the latter
If a man was on a ledge I would know just what to say
Because I admit I talk myself down every day
It's inherent it's genetic
Not something I chose
But I choose to expel it
Using deft verbal prose
A good day for some can leave me cowering in fear
Because I feel the Black Dog
His growling is so near
A friend said she should ask people how their day is more often
A friend can chase those clouds and make those dark thoughts soften
I've been in a place I never thought I'd return from
I've been at my lowest and heard people say I'm wrong
Saying that I'm weak and that my courage is worthless
When I just can't escape I crave a life that is curseless
Keep your head up and just remember one thing
Lightning strikes from the ground up
So find your power within
Find something that lights your fire and something to hold on to
Tell yourself it's worth living even if you don't want to
If you suffer I suffer we are in this together
I will keep watch regardless of weather
The Black Dog scares me but I'm strong and I know it
You have the power too and I'll help you to show it
Depression is real but it's never your fault though
If you're in this with me then I just want you to know
I love you and you're needed so please keep on going
I'm trying to save us all with the hope that I'm sowing
Smile today because tomorrow might be bad
But regardless of mental illness I'm alive and I'm glad
