tell me fantastical lies

This competition is fantasy/fiction
From the list of items given below, pick one and tell me why it was never invented. Obviously you must make something up.

2 weeks
One entry each
All welcome to enter
Inbox questions to me
Any form or style
Any length

You MUST give your piece a title to win this

LIST (pick one)

Television
Cake
Golf
The USA
The electric chair
Indoor toilets
Makeup
Microwaves
Motorcycles
Carpets
Socks
have fun and I am looking for creativity here

Paint For Your Face (Make-up)

Paint for your face?
What?
Why in the world-- Would you want to put paint on our face?
Are we not just as lovely without it as we are with it?
Do our eyes not sparkle enough so that we have to outline them dark?
Is our lips not entertaining enough that they need to be the color of blood, the paleness of a peach, or even as dark as a bruise?
Do our cheeks not blush so easily with just a wink and a wave, that you need to apply powder to them to get this slightly pink shade?
What is wrong with our natural beauty, that we must hide it with this strange paint?
We don't need this-- No, no, not us!
Take this away simply at once!
No, no-- This will not do....
My eyes can sparkle with the help of the sun, not the outlining of this charcoal crayon.
My lips will purse and puckered, and you shall kiss them, thus see how important I am!
My cheeks will brighten with color if you say the right things, much more rewarding then what some pink powder will bring.
Yes I have blemishes, maybe one or two-- If you can't get use to them, then away with you!
You want me to paint my face, hide my flaws, like some sort of ashamed disgrace?
Is that what you want?
Is that what you need?
For me to hide my flaws away-- This all you want from me, indeed!
My face will remain as pale as the snow.
My lips will remain a slightly pink shade.
My brown eyes will sparkle with the golden flakes that the sun glimpses over.
My cheeks will blush pink and then probably turn red just from the sweet things you've said.
And there will be flaws, blemishes, but no mistakes!
Because I am not one who will be taking part in this (rather strange) art.
I will not hide away who I am, for I am no disgrace!
And lastly I will not be putting any paint on my face.

* I hope this poem is okay. It was the first thing that came to my mind when I thought about make-up not being invented. Well instead it's more like someone is telling someone the reason why we don't need it, I hope that counts. If not then just ignore me and the poem. I just wanted to give it a try one way or another.

- Paige Rider

Thank you, paige for getting us started. Nice work :-)

nice one really made me think twice

Kego, I look forward to your entry in this one then..thinking is good- I think

                       Fascinating Electric Chair
                     
                       Charge of electricity
                       rushes through your body
                       brings you back to life
                       family waiting in line
                       happy
                       anxiously looking at the time
                       wild card for the dead
                       change of fate
                       we will bring you back
                       you choose instead
                       fairy floating mist
                       heaven eternal bliss
                       enchanted sense
                       Pull switch
                       smiles on your face
                       magic
                       fascinating electric chair
                     
                       
 
                         

Fun competition really enjoy participating!!Thanks!

Telepathic Television

An enchanted place
where your darkest dreams
or most beautiful fantasies
are acted out on screen
connected telepathically directly
to your brain receptors
there would be a cable network
where you were able to view
closest family and friends
their dreamscapes open to you
a voyeur to their most terrifying thoughts
or their most brilliant imaginations
caressing you through the ether net
taking you down portals
not seen in public
a private viewing
where the actors
were created by your imagination
the most exotic men and women
caressing your thoughts
as family and friends viewed them
in living color on the screen
no more forgotten dreams
you can't quite put your finger on
all you need do is turn on the magic television
never being invented I'm sure owing to the fact
that most people would twist and squirm
at there most deepest secrets viewed on screen
alas no telepathic television.

thank you Miki a most interesting comp. much love Crim :)

The Silly Invention: Indoor Toilets

Gentle folks so pretty and staid
nose wrinkled at the stench inside
The lord soiled the sheets again
Chamber pots were there...
Lord Crapper couldn’t make it
On time before uploading
Difficult to wash
at the river Leropotamos

The elders with the inventors
put their heads together
hair curled and braided entangled
ideas refused to blend
seeing the catapault
ah an idea indeed
put the lord on it to poo
then throw it at the enemies
Holy Crap! Good idea

So indeed the lord went on
Shit his load, straining hard
Im done, he shouted
And they promptly let go
Catapault away, ahoy there!
Crash the stinking load all over
Helmets and spears
With the naked lord
Speared in his butt
What a roar that was

muttering with anger and disdain
Inventors were on it again
Aha, put a hole right through the floor
That reached to the river below
And this they did, with much ado
Crap the lord did with all his might
undercooked boar was his undoing
below ladies and girls began to scream
sheets and handkerchiefs and designer jeans
were smeared with disgusting streams

the inventors sad, without ideas
use the chamber pots my Lord
try to keep it in until you sit
pray don’t crumple the bin
you fat sluggy slob
so the lord did that on his dawn
full unloading after reloading
sadly he piddled through windows
or from the turrets
with thoughts of Indoor Toilets

sometimes when sadness overcome
he ran to the woods
to do his job
to spite the bees and the bears

and thus indoor toilets
were never invented
it was more trouble
than it was worth.

Masks of Lies, Face Of Grace(Make Up)

Do we really need make-up to seem beautiful?

Do you know that it's just another way to cover up the mistakes we made?

The lies we say will hide easier in the painted lips and the colored face.

It can be used in so many ways, yet people think this will make it all easier and much more alluring.

Are you not beautiful enough with the skin of liquid silk, or the colors of rich earth or pale snow?

Are the lashes of your eyes not long enough that they cast shadows like the wings of a bird?

Do you not like the rosy color your lips have, a color that puts rose petals to shame?

Why hide such grace and beauty behind a mask of paint and secrecy.

Your eyes sparkle in the special way that he loves...

Your skin glows as bright as liquid moon or the crisp fall or summer...

Your lips curve in delicacy and soften with colors...

Your lashes curl to perfection naturally...

Why hide your self behind this cakey and greasy mask?

Do not lose the beauty that you were gifted with.

Who even suggested the idea of creating make-up?

Is it really worth masking your self?

[/i]

-----------------------------------------------------------------I hope that you like it! I had no idea what I was really writing about so sorry if it made no sense! Thanks

The Notbox

Most appropriately, for past followers of various forms of insipia and ignorama, the Great Machine has pulled back the tawdry veil which hangs (poetically) across space time and come up with a derivative null when calculating the effects of television on past minds. As it happens, or as yet has not been allowed to yet be, but may yet be (any'thing' is, of course, possible, but most likely not. The Great Machine is quite thorough.) television is discovered to have much positive influence on past minds, but is found unable to sustain an Information to Distraction ratio above 1/1. As we all know, the Visuality Treaties of 400,000 BCA(Before Cognitive Assertion)outline a Distraction percentage schema not to exceed .00135% of Total Inductive Hours(TIA). Thus television has been found incapable of self legitimizing for Continuation, and has been [subsequently] expunged from Knowing. Which begs the question...just what were we talking about?

The Television
I remember reading whilst going to work,
About the strangest idea had by a scientist twerp.
His concept was (according to the paper)
A ridiculous idea, a moronic caper.
His idea was, its plain to see,
A desperate attempt at creativity.
The thought had me twisting my hair into locks,
What was he thinking?
Was he sick? Perhaps the pox?
For what use would we have to stare, idly blinking,
At a bunch of pictures inside a box?