The amusing side of sex

Jenny's Journey

Jenny had just turned eighteen
She moved to L.A. with a dream
She got her first gig
Rocco’s dick was big
Jenny just shot her first scene

It was one of the year’s biggest hits
It gave her money to buy bigger tits
but her rent was due
so a fan she blew
His cum helped to clear up her zits

She was offered a film for big bucks
More money for each guy she fucks
She would do it for sure
but it did fuck with her
That day she learned that porn sucks

She showed up on the set really buzzin’
She found out that there would be a dozen
She was in heaven
as she fucked eleven
but the twelfth one she fucked was her cousin!

Hot Wife

For years it was something they dreamed
He’d watch his hot wife getting reamed
So they made a plan
to find some random man
It would be lots of fun, so it seemed.

They met a man and they set up a date
When the time came the man showed up late
with a friend to play
the husband said “no way”
but the wife thought that it would be great.

The husband didn’t seem too amused
That his wife was just being used
with a dick in her butt
Oh my God! What a slut!
There was also a cock in her cooze.

He asked her to do it no more
She was quickly becoming a whore
She refused to quit
She was too into it
‘cause without it her life was a bore.

She said “Sometimes one just ain’t enough
I need all three holes to be stuffed
and one in each hand
I’ll fuck the whole band
and let them make a mess of my muff.”

He had taken to drinking straight rum
He couldn’t cope without being numb
He then went insane
Shot himself in the brain
and bled dead while his wife bathed in cum.

Gemini said:The Milf and The Whore

The milf went to get milk at the store
She walked in and the clerk locked the door
He paid her a sum
to swallow his cum
The hot soccer mom was a whore!

Her husband did everything right
Her family was wealthy and white
But she needed more money
and fucked like a bunny
so she could shoot up every night.

Her yuppie friends had no clue
Suburbanites rarely do
They were so naive
to the tricks up her sleeve
and all of their husbands she blew.

One night she went to go score
She shot up and she fell to the floor
She cracked her head
and out she bled
The milf was a whore no more.




love this! (except for the dying part...)

Cheers, Petit. I hope gardenlover has the same opinion. :)

The Tale of Lazy Daisy & Her Amazing Titties

Daisy's titties taste of moonbeams      
how they glisten in the rain      
and though she likes them fondled      
there are times sex seems a strain      
   
But when she's had a tipple      
and her eyes begin to roll      
she lets me stroke a nipple      
to keep away the cold      
   
'Tis smooth and soft and silky      
like cream upon my tongue      
and if I suck it long enough      
the milk begins to run      
   
Now one night I was mystified      
the flow was not forthcoming      
I could feel some sort of clot      
and her eyeballs started running      
   
She swooned into a dream      
with her lashes all a flutter      
and then she fell quite dumb      
not a word would Daisy utter      
   
I screamed:"What have I done?      
The drink has caused our ruin!"      
but she piped up:"Don't be daft      
I know what I've been doing...      
   
I was j-j-j ogging in the g-g-g ym      
to exercise my s-s-s stutter      
and I must have got 'em c-c-c clogged      
with half a p-p-pound of butter.      
   
The solution is quite simple      
but last time I forgot      
to wrap my t-t-titties round my neck      
and tie a double knot."      
   
And now our nights transcend perfection      
Daisy's stutter's doing fine--      
it's just a shame that she can't churn      
all that butter into wine

Hot Sex with Grandmaaah

I met an old granny    
from deepest Dundee  
she danced to the bedroom  
as fit as a flea  
 
When I jiggled her titties  
she groaned like a goose  
so I tore off her bloomers  
and sucked up the juice  
 
She wailed, I am ready  
for full intercourse  
then leapt on my cock  
and rode like a horse  
 
I asked do you do this  
for all the young men  
She said not that often  
only now and again  
 
Now and again  
and again and again  
Now and again  
only now and again  
 
But granny grew breathless  
as she ground down the beef  
She said would you mind  
if I take out my teeth  
 
I'm afraid I might choke  
as your member's so fit  
they'll be safe in your navel  
and can chew on my clit  
 
Now and again  
and again and again  
now and again  
always now and again  
 
But then came disaster  
with my rod like a rock  
her gnashers went wild  
and they bit off my cock  
 
Now and again  
and again and again  
now and again  
always now and again  
 
So please heed this lesson  
I've learned to my cost  
Send your granny for check-ups  
and always use floss  
 
Not now and again  
never now and again  
not now and again  
never now and again

Thanks  for the most recent entries.Have extended comp by a week in the hopes of getting some more gems like these.

Geta Room!
 
Yep, we're that couple 
Maybe it's in our signs
The ones you people see and say
"They're outta their fuckn minds"
 
We've crossed the stars 
and the stars have crossed us 
The lion and the water maiden
Both steeped in lust 
 
"Beverage service will begin shortly ..."
Was the announcement we all heard
Fold door in to lock the others out 
Her warm honey pot is what I got served
 
"Get a room" 
I could see it in their eyes as we took our seats 
Just mad because they had to settle for salted treats 
 
There was Mardi Gras in New Orleans 
Where we danced on Frenchmen Street  
In a darkened courtyard she took me in her mouth 
To a raging ragtime beat 
 
"Geta room" 
 
We dared Hades himself 
As she straddled me on top of a grave
Undulating bodies pressing granite
and dead roses for that which we crave
 
"Geta room," he said
 
We tried getting a room once, the kids home sleeping 
And it was late
We'd listened to live jazz and blues
Our Friday night date
 
So we stopped at a motel
To see what we could get
We'd been playing in the car 
So I was hard and she was wet 
 
I  limped to the front desk
Nothing available was what I was told 
Sly grin in my love's eyes 
Told me she wanted to be bold
 
I went down on her right in the darkened lot 
She started to squirt because I was hitting her spot
In the velvet night only stars seemed to loom
But then that yell from a window, "Yo! Geta room!"

look missus
i'm sure the ins and outs of quantum physics
are out of this world
frankly I thought you were trying to impress me
when you said that was your thing
and that's why I said I was a physics professor

you're nice , you really are
I expect you'll look just as nice in the morning
not like some of the other trolls
I've woken up to, and they were mad for it
Jesus Christ
they must hardly get it at all

anyway, that's neither here nor there
I think one of Newton's laws just proved itself
when you sat on my lap

I'll just brush this thong aside
and if you could brush your one aside too
that'll be great

Thank you all for your poems, especially those who put in more than one.
Choosing the winners was difficult. I looked for poems with good rhythm and had a humorous tale to tell.
I could have added several more as runners up but was only allowed two.

good man Abra, still got the magic

fair play, Gemini and Hell's kitten

Congratulations Abra and Cheers to the host Gardenlover.

Congrats Abra & thanks for the mention gardenlover!

I'm deeply humbled by this award
which means much more to me than a wet dream on a wild night in Texas.
Rest assured I shall always cherish the enormity of this moment
& keep the trophy safe in my underwear drawer.
Thank you.
Thank you all.