Poetry competition CLOSED 17th May 2012 10:59pm
WINNER
lepperochan (CraicDealer)
lepperochan (CraicDealer)
Page:
The Ministry of Silly Poems
Poetry Contest Description
Take something of Monty Python and make it a poem.
1. Write it! No word count limit.
2. Previous writes okay. Seriously, if you already have a poem of this sort, POST IT!
4. I'm a huge fan! It has to be an actual sketch. It should be something verifiable not something you THINK you saw. Poems can also be about their movies, the actors themselves, or something other (must clear it with me).
5. Bonus points if you post an accompanying video from YouTube or a similar site.
6. Collabs are fine but one person must be designated to be the recipient if they win.
7. No limit on number of entries.
8. You have 2 weeks.
And one day, all of this will be yours.
2. Previous writes okay. Seriously, if you already have a poem of this sort, POST IT!
4. I'm a huge fan! It has to be an actual sketch. It should be something verifiable not something you THINK you saw. Poems can also be about their movies, the actors themselves, or something other (must clear it with me).
5. Bonus points if you post an accompanying video from YouTube or a similar site.
6. Collabs are fine but one person must be designated to be the recipient if they win.
7. No limit on number of entries.
8. You have 2 weeks.
And one day, all of this will be yours.
This doesn't work as an entry because it just references them, still...
A brief synopsis of the novel:
"The Inthemiddleburgians and The Majic Accountant".
Prologue:
For untold ages the Inthemiddleburgians have, (not unlike Poland, or
myself when sitting between two sisters at Christmas dinner) suffered
from being flat, pointless, and in the middle of stuff that is very much
more viscous and intelligent than they are. This story is a case in
point.
Chapter I:
The Scorpion Prince of the conquering state of Überstan increases taxes,
yet again, on the poor citizens of Inthemiddleburgia.
Chapter II:
In a mass hallucination 'The Majic Accountant From the Unknown Regions'
appears to the Inthemiddleburgians and reveals to them hidden loopholes
in the Überstanian tax code.
Chapter III:
The Inthemiddleburgians take advantage of the loopholes and bankrupt
the state of Überstan whose citizens promptly overthrow the evil prince
and imprison him in 'The Cubicle Whose Computer has an Extremely Slow
Connection to the Internet'.
Chapter IV:
The Inthemiddleburgians newfound wealth attracts the attention of
Nimernepamen-Messetawosret, the 'Evil and Also Supreme King of the West'.
King Nimernepamen-Messetawosret promptly invades and conquers
Inthemiddleburgia. The 'Evil and Also Supreme King of the West' then
makes a pledge to the Inthemiddleburgians: He shall never levy a tax
upon them. And he is true to his word as he immediately seizes all
their property and enslaves them.
Chapter V:
In at least one more mass-hallucination 'The Majic Accountant From the
Unknown Regions' appears to the Inthemiddleburgians and tells them he
cannot help them because they have nothing left to account. But he does
suggest that they try conjuring up 'The Indispensable and Uncircumscribed
Vicious Vanquisher of Evil Kings Whose Last Names Start With Ni'.
Chapter VI:
After many failed attempts to conjure up 'The Indispensable and
Uncircumscribed Vicious Vanquisher of Evil Kings Whose Last Names Start
With Ni', and the subsequent milling about that always seems to
accompany attempts such as this, the slaves of Inthemiddleburgia
accomplish a conjuring. But, being new to conjuring and all and (it
must be said) not the sharpest of the tools in the already dull sheds of
Inthemiddleburgia; they conjure up the 'Knights Who Say Ni!' instead of
'The Indispensable and Uncircumscribed Vicious Vanquisher of Evil Kings
Whose Last Names Start With Ni'. This is unfortunate because the
'Knights Who Say Ni!' can chant the sacred word 'Ni!' in such a way as to
induce unimaginable horror and fear.
( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knights_who_say_Ni )
Chapter VII:
The leader of 'Knights Who Say Ni!' asks for a bit of shrubbery that
looks nice but is not too expensive. Unfortunately, as slaves, they can't
afford one (even if inexpensive). Upon hearing this the knights start
chanting the sacred word 'Ni!'. This, unfortunately and predictably,
induces such unimaginable horror and fear in the Inthemiddleburgians
that their panic fuels a stampede in which each and every one of them,
(imprecisely and oddly echoing the end of Macbeth) is trampled to death
by each and every other one of them.
Epilogue:
King Nimernepamen-Messetawosret, the 'Evil and Also Supreme King of the
West' watches the stampede of the Inthemiddleburgians from a high
fortress tower or some such. But, predictably, he is quickly bored and
goes in to have some tea. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your
view of kings whose last names start with 'Ni') this particular tea is
the last ingredient needed to complete the conjuring of 'The
Indispensable and Uncircumscribed Vicious Vanquisher of Evil Kings Whose
Last Names Start With Ni'. Thus, King Nimernepamen-Messetawosret, the
'Evil and Also Supreme King of the West' unfortunately or fortunately
but definitely and predictably was viciously vanquished by 'The
Indispensable and Uncircumscribed Vicious Vanquisher of Evil Kings Whose
Last Names Start With Ni'. The rest is silence except for an occasional
whimper coming from 'The Cubicle Whose Computer has an Extremely Slow
Connection to the Internet'.
END
Not something about Monty Python, but with the awesome title and near lack of any posts I figure it's still worth putting here
An Ode to Bisplaced Meginnings (Strophe)
O, the Bisplaced Meginning
Crafting humour in all
Crafting humour in all
Now Sharlie Cheen is winning
And the writings of Roald Dahl
Are writings of Doald Rahl
It gently caresses (so kently garessing)
And fittingly dresses (it drittingly fesses)
Like a Belour Vodyglove
An Ode to Bisplaced Meginnings (Antistrophe)
O, Bisplaced Meginning I encounter thou
O, Bisplaced Meginning I encounter thou
Whilst Beading Rooks about Purgatory and how
Whilst Beading Rooks about Purgatory and how
Boovies like Pot Skilgram make us laugh and
Mooks by Marl Karx will make us crink and then
Thry
The final part of the ode remains to be written, both are posted already under the same title, enjoy!
An Ode to Bisplaced Meginnings (Strophe)
O, the Bisplaced Meginning
Crafting humour in all
Crafting humour in all
Now Sharlie Cheen is winning
And the writings of Roald Dahl
Are writings of Doald Rahl
It gently caresses (so kently garessing)
And fittingly dresses (it drittingly fesses)
Like a Belour Vodyglove
An Ode to Bisplaced Meginnings (Antistrophe)
O, Bisplaced Meginning I encounter thou
O, Bisplaced Meginning I encounter thou
Whilst Beading Rooks about Purgatory and how
Whilst Beading Rooks about Purgatory and how
Boovies like Pot Skilgram make us laugh and
Mooks by Marl Karx will make us crink and then
Thry
The final part of the ode remains to be written, both are posted already under the same title, enjoy!
BlackVelvetRose said:Mad As A Hatter
In a white room with black curtains
Stands a lone figure.
Blood red velvet top hat,
Dressed in black,
A peculiar raven perched upon his shoulder,
Black silver tipped cane in hand,
Silver skull with ruby eyes upon his finger.
Head lowered,
Gazing upon the floor,
He speaks softly
But Loudly heard....
"Many people call me many things;
Many things think I am nothing more
Than a mere figment of ones imagination....
Imagination only feeds the figment of sanity....
I am neither sane nor insane....
I am broken, lost, confused....
But I know my place in the lair of the hare....
I am a figment of mad....
Mad as a Hatter I am!!!!"
"Mad, mad, mad!" quoted the raven;
At the mere suggestion
Of insane madness....
The lone figure lifted his head,
Jaded Emeralds shown through Crystal Blue Ice....
"Insanity is only how one feels....
Feelings are insanity and only ones opinions....
Opinions are from a jaded mind....
Jaded minds tend to sail away to only return by sane figments of the insane...."
Quoted the Dark Figure.
Then from behind his black boots....
A rabbit in a white coat appeared....
Waving paws and squirming about....
"We're late, we're late, we're late....
Can't keep the Queen waiting....
Tea is served, must return....
To the hare in the lair....
Pitter Patter, Pitter Patter, Mr. Hatter....
We're late, we're late, we're late...."
"Mad I tell you, Mad as a Hatter I am!!!!...." Quoted the raven.
To what sketch is this in reference? If none, I suppose you didn't read the rules or this is a mispost.
In a white room with black curtains
Stands a lone figure.
Blood red velvet top hat,
Dressed in black,
A peculiar raven perched upon his shoulder,
Black silver tipped cane in hand,
Silver skull with ruby eyes upon his finger.
Head lowered,
Gazing upon the floor,
He speaks softly
But Loudly heard....
"Many people call me many things;
Many things think I am nothing more
Than a mere figment of ones imagination....
Imagination only feeds the figment of sanity....
I am neither sane nor insane....
I am broken, lost, confused....
But I know my place in the lair of the hare....
I am a figment of mad....
Mad as a Hatter I am!!!!"
"Mad, mad, mad!" quoted the raven;
At the mere suggestion
Of insane madness....
The lone figure lifted his head,
Jaded Emeralds shown through Crystal Blue Ice....
"Insanity is only how one feels....
Feelings are insanity and only ones opinions....
Opinions are from a jaded mind....
Jaded minds tend to sail away to only return by sane figments of the insane...."
Quoted the Dark Figure.
Then from behind his black boots....
A rabbit in a white coat appeared....
Waving paws and squirming about....
"We're late, we're late, we're late....
Can't keep the Queen waiting....
Tea is served, must return....
To the hare in the lair....
Pitter Patter, Pitter Patter, Mr. Hatter....
We're late, we're late, we're late...."
"Mad I tell you, Mad as a Hatter I am!!!!...." Quoted the raven.
To what sketch is this in reference? If none, I suppose you didn't read the rules or this is a mispost.
All hail Pilate Empowor of Wome and stand in awe at his power
"On this day the mighty wome
will give fweedom to one pwisonor
awaiting cwusifiction.
who shall we set fwee
to wome among you again?"
[Rome in it's wisdom had learned manipulation
of it's people through fear and joyities
and thus gained the elusive loyalty
normally reserved for the good king]
"WELEASE BWIAN" came the reply
bellowed from the crowd
gathered in the mighty Colosseum
where Gladiators and Lions alike
killed to the thunderous
applaud and delight of the
blood thirsty commoners
"Welease Bwian!! Welease Bwian!! Welease Bwian!!
wealease wodger !! welease wodger!! Welease Wodger"
The crowed had sensed the weakness in the emperor
like the tiger smells the blood of it's prey
and as one they taunted and scoffed
the small man with the big ego
who stood over them like a god
Pilate shook with anger
but sensed the danger
of revolution
Up ThE JuDeAN PeOpLeS FrOnT (and the peoples front of judea)
http://youtu.be/7Lc86JUAwwg
http://youtu.be/ik0cqxJElqA
Anonymous
Congrats, Eamonn!
