Poetry competition CLOSED 7th April 2012 11:38pm
WINNER
PierreTheMad
PierreTheMad
RUNNERS-UP:
cjmshadow
and MrAlptraum
Son/Daughter/Mother/Father
Poetry Contest Description
Write a poem to or about either your child/ren or parent/s or guardian of sorts.
You have two weeks to write a poem to or about any of the above mentioned. Enter as many times as you like. New or old writes are okay. As long or as short as you want.
Have fun :)
Have fun :)
My Rainbow Girl
She's the prettiest thing
I think I've ever seen
she smiles at me
everyday
happy and free ,
long brown hair
asian eyes
a hazel glare
she's my rainbow in the sky
as she laughs without a care .
Loving and adaptable
I cuddle her solar glow
everday
she has grown
this little lady
I have known .
The days ,
the months
they fly past
she's growing up
way too fast
to let go
will hurt me bad
but I have to I know
I am her dad .
She's the prettiest thing
I think I've ever seen
she smiles at me
everyday
happy and free ,
long brown hair
asian eyes
a hazel glare
she's my rainbow in the sky
as she laughs without a care .
Loving and adaptable
I cuddle her solar glow
everday
she has grown
this little lady
I have known .
The days ,
the months
they fly past
she's growing up
way too fast
to let go
will hurt me bad
but I have to I know
I am her dad .
Bring Her Home
Bring her home
please
she's my baby girl
I plead
she belongs with me
this is wrong
don't you see .
Her bike lies outside
my pain it hikes
to an all time high ,
I see her pink hair brush
low can't sink , as it's way to much
bring her home please
my worlds on hold
in the cold , of freeze .
The days , the nights
I strain my pain for life ,
memories swirl
my mind , my baby girl ,
shadows of her face
I try so hard to trace ,
devastation seems
to me , to be so lame ,
I try to call her
I'm ignored
I go insane
I'm her mother , her father
in her life of everyday ,
if this goes much further
I'll die now anyday ,
does this mean nothing to you
as you , do turn away .
Stab me to death
and tear my soul apart
crush my chest
run me over in your car ,
for that is best
than this hole
right through my heart ,
I'm the walking dead
in this land of oh so far .
My energy drains away ,
like a ghost in long gone days
my eyes are now in flames
her voice , my mind does play ,
I stare at all her games
they glare like razor blades
bring my J.J home
to god I do so pray ,
Her brothers and I
are so now zombified ,
we cuddle and cry
and they , just don't know why .
For christs sake
oh why , is it I you hate
for she's only nine
it's not her choice to make .
Bring her home
please
she's my baby girl
I plead
she belongs with me
this is wrong
don't you see .
Her bike lies outside
my pain it hikes
to an all time high ,
I see her pink hair brush
low can't sink , as it's way to much
bring her home please
my worlds on hold
in the cold , of freeze .
The days , the nights
I strain my pain for life ,
memories swirl
my mind , my baby girl ,
shadows of her face
I try so hard to trace ,
devastation seems
to me , to be so lame ,
I try to call her
I'm ignored
I go insane
I'm her mother , her father
in her life of everyday ,
if this goes much further
I'll die now anyday ,
does this mean nothing to you
as you , do turn away .
Stab me to death
and tear my soul apart
crush my chest
run me over in your car ,
for that is best
than this hole
right through my heart ,
I'm the walking dead
in this land of oh so far .
My energy drains away ,
like a ghost in long gone days
my eyes are now in flames
her voice , my mind does play ,
I stare at all her games
they glare like razor blades
bring my J.J home
to god I do so pray ,
Her brothers and I
are so now zombified ,
we cuddle and cry
and they , just don't know why .
For christs sake
oh why , is it I you hate
for she's only nine
it's not her choice to make .
You Should Know This
My little people
you need to know
I put this down
for when you are grown ,
you have to try
and comprehend
do not cry
I can't always be around ,
but never fear
we will meet again ,
just keep memories dear
my love will be near
remember this when
all sadness is clear,
on or off this sphere
around or about
the love of me dear
will be around each cloud ,
the laughter of year's
resounds through my tears ,
my pain is unbounded
you made me sane
and grounded ,
you in my world
elated , astounded
my boys and my girl
that I always wanted ,
my life without you
I can't even dream of
and all that we do
you are the cream of ,
and no matter what
your age may be
if I'm here or not
and in the next extremity ,
i'll love past I drop
give all that I've got
because your forever
my babies , you rock .
My little people
you need to know
I put this down
for when you are grown ,
you have to try
and comprehend
do not cry
I can't always be around ,
but never fear
we will meet again ,
just keep memories dear
my love will be near
remember this when
all sadness is clear,
on or off this sphere
around or about
the love of me dear
will be around each cloud ,
the laughter of year's
resounds through my tears ,
my pain is unbounded
you made me sane
and grounded ,
you in my world
elated , astounded
my boys and my girl
that I always wanted ,
my life without you
I can't even dream of
and all that we do
you are the cream of ,
and no matter what
your age may be
if I'm here or not
and in the next extremity ,
i'll love past I drop
give all that I've got
because your forever
my babies , you rock .
Little Stars
The stars , from here
look so little
we live , in fear
we are so brittle
each breath , so near
and unpredictable
our quest , unclear
were blind , and.gullable .
I wish , I could
grow into a sun
ignite , dark skies
for everyone
I think, it's like
being a woman
to give life , to shine light
it's mighty powerful .
I watch my , three babies
sleep at night
these are , my stars
they are my bright
their life , so far
from here tonight
my sight , solar
they make me fight .
The stars , from here
look so little
we live , in fear
we are so brittle
each breath , so near
and unpredictable
our quest , unclear
were blind , and.gullable .
I wish , I could
grow into a sun
ignite , dark skies
for everyone
I think, it's like
being a woman
to give life , to shine light
it's mighty powerful .
I watch my , three babies
sleep at night
these are , my stars
they are my bright
their life , so far
from here tonight
my sight , solar
they make me fight .
Daddy's Fallen Angel
Any man can be called a father, it takes a special man to be called a dad. I don't know what it's like to have a dad, I do not know what it's like to have a father. A man that teaches you how to ride a bike or take you to the park, I do not know what it's like to be daddy's little girl. I never was, I never will be, I am seventeen years old and the feelings of solitude of not having a father is just getting to me now. Because I just realized how much it hurt when you choose going out drinking instead of me, that the only time of the day you talk to me is to ask me to get you a beer or to walk the dog. I never realized how much I wanted, needed a father, I never noticed how much I wanted to be daddy's little girl-- I told myself that I didn't care, that it didn't bother me for years. Until it finally just bubbled up and hit the surface, and now I yell and I scream at you to care about me and all you do is look the other way. Pay your child support I'm glad that state of Massachusetts has gotten you to do something for me otherwise my mother screams at you to buy my school clothes. I wish that I knew a time when we saw eye to eye but I don't remember that, those days we would a movie together, those conversations we had involving you talk to me about something that we both sort of understand. I don't know anything about you and you don't know anything about me, you don't love me-- Do you? I needed a father, maybe you and my mother couldn't stay together but the least you could have done was be there for me. No instead you left me alone and so other men came into mine and my mother's lives and they tried to take on the role as father but I never knew what it was like to have a father and so the role was wasted and not treated with respect. These men hurt me and broke me down, break a girl who was already broken-- The man that was like a father to me is dead, he was my grand-dad not my grandfather. As I write this you are down the hall from me and you will never read this and I will never read it to you because I don't tell you about my stories, I don't tell you about the things I write. My laptop to you is a machine that you do not understand that plays loud music that holds a message in the words for me but to you it is just noise. That's what your voice has become father, it is just noise to me-- You don't talk to me, you never really did. . . You never showed me that you cared about me, years of 'Father/Daughter dances' a lot my grand-father took me to, not my father. You don't talk to me, you yell at me. You don't know me even though you live with me. You don't love me, you tolerate me. I had a memory once, I was in third grade so I was about eight or nine years old and every month I had to do a book report, I had to read a book. Did I sit with you on the green chair in the living room in the apartment when I was a child, did you sit there and listen to me read the words and help me read them too. Was that you? Was that a memory or was that just my mind playing tricks on me? Do you realize that if it wasn't for my mother I would have been left alone unable to get through the years of my broke innocence that the solitude of your absence did to me. I wish you knew that my favorite color was purple, same as yours. And that I love you as much as a daughter can love her biological father. I wish you knew that I want you to be proud of me and live up to the expectations as a father, as a dad. If only you knew that I wanted nothing more than to be daddy's little girl. But instead I'm daddy's fallen angel, with my broken wings that won't allow me to fly, my tattered halo that has splinters stuck deep inside my skull like Jesus' crown of thorns and now I am alone in this, daddy's fallen angel picking ghost flowers from my soul. There is not happiness, there is no light, all there is now is broken innocence in this world and a lonely, broken girl still searching and searching for her dad.
Any man can be called a father, it takes a special man to be called a dad. I don't know what it's like to have a dad, I do not know what it's like to have a father. A man that teaches you how to ride a bike or take you to the park, I do not know what it's like to be daddy's little girl. I never was, I never will be, I am seventeen years old and the feelings of solitude of not having a father is just getting to me now. Because I just realized how much it hurt when you choose going out drinking instead of me, that the only time of the day you talk to me is to ask me to get you a beer or to walk the dog. I never realized how much I wanted, needed a father, I never noticed how much I wanted to be daddy's little girl-- I told myself that I didn't care, that it didn't bother me for years. Until it finally just bubbled up and hit the surface, and now I yell and I scream at you to care about me and all you do is look the other way. Pay your child support I'm glad that state of Massachusetts has gotten you to do something for me otherwise my mother screams at you to buy my school clothes. I wish that I knew a time when we saw eye to eye but I don't remember that, those days we would a movie together, those conversations we had involving you talk to me about something that we both sort of understand. I don't know anything about you and you don't know anything about me, you don't love me-- Do you? I needed a father, maybe you and my mother couldn't stay together but the least you could have done was be there for me. No instead you left me alone and so other men came into mine and my mother's lives and they tried to take on the role as father but I never knew what it was like to have a father and so the role was wasted and not treated with respect. These men hurt me and broke me down, break a girl who was already broken-- The man that was like a father to me is dead, he was my grand-dad not my grandfather. As I write this you are down the hall from me and you will never read this and I will never read it to you because I don't tell you about my stories, I don't tell you about the things I write. My laptop to you is a machine that you do not understand that plays loud music that holds a message in the words for me but to you it is just noise. That's what your voice has become father, it is just noise to me-- You don't talk to me, you never really did. . . You never showed me that you cared about me, years of 'Father/Daughter dances' a lot my grand-father took me to, not my father. You don't talk to me, you yell at me. You don't know me even though you live with me. You don't love me, you tolerate me. I had a memory once, I was in third grade so I was about eight or nine years old and every month I had to do a book report, I had to read a book. Did I sit with you on the green chair in the living room in the apartment when I was a child, did you sit there and listen to me read the words and help me read them too. Was that you? Was that a memory or was that just my mind playing tricks on me? Do you realize that if it wasn't for my mother I would have been left alone unable to get through the years of my broke innocence that the solitude of your absence did to me. I wish you knew that my favorite color was purple, same as yours. And that I love you as much as a daughter can love her biological father. I wish you knew that I want you to be proud of me and live up to the expectations as a father, as a dad. If only you knew that I wanted nothing more than to be daddy's little girl. But instead I'm daddy's fallen angel, with my broken wings that won't allow me to fly, my tattered halo that has splinters stuck deep inside my skull like Jesus' crown of thorns and now I am alone in this, daddy's fallen angel picking ghost flowers from my soul. There is not happiness, there is no light, all there is now is broken innocence in this world and a lonely, broken girl still searching and searching for her dad.
Some Very Good Advice
To my Children:
I am your mother, reason you are here. I am your savior and judgement depends on what I teach you through the years. Let me tell you somethings, about me that I do not hold with pride. Things that I want you to know, some very good advice. I was fifteen when my family broke apart, my father leaving my mother and I, her with a broken heart and me with a broken mind. Nothing in life is to be feared is to only be understood, my father I could never understand and so instead I feared him but now I hate him so. For leaving me in this world, cold and alone. My mother was no saint, even though she would like the think she was. She was an abusive wench, who beat me with a brush. But my life doesn't stop out of house and home, I know that I say that they're are no strangers merely friends you have not yet met. But there is a loophole and it is that, some people want to use you while others want to abuse you. And some rare people will love you, no matter how much you do not want them to. Normal is not something to aspire to, but something to get away from. Because 'Normal' is a setting on a washing machine, and I want you to always tolerate difference. And then during my life, I found love four different times. Once with a girl and three times with guys. Love is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting them enough not to. I trusted too many and too easily and so my heart was always broken and there is nothing that can mend a broken heart or even a split mind. Diagnosis and mental history would tell me that I suffer from manic depression, that is sadly hereditary. And so I may have indeed passed down this curse to you, and so I am very sorry. But I cannot take it back, like anything that I am not proud of that I have done in the past. You would have had another sibling but that was when I was very young and living on the street because my mother threw me out of the house. And so I was taken in by a group of biker chicks, but one of the people was male that hung around all of the time. Getting laid but one of the girls each night. One of these girls was me and I sadly fell in love, but I lost my mind when pregnancy came upon me at age seventeen.
A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on, well this baby was never meant to live because I was living on the street. And the pain and that child, haunt me to this day that I aborted the fetus, told by the father for his own selfish gain. Now many times in my life I have questioned my reason to live, and each time I found another reason to try and end my life. The rope and the knife were already my friends, so this time I tried sleeping pills. But I will skip that and fast forward to the advice, always think before you do something because suicide is not the answer. Nothing in my life made me want to commit suicide more than people's reaction to me trying to commit suicide. So never pick up the pills, the knife, the pistol, or tie a noose because my children, you may not realize it but you have a lot to lose. Because someone wants you to be alive, I know I do. And one day you will meet that someone who will stand by your side and want to be with no matter what. Advice, advice, so much to say and so little time. Actually I have all the time in the world, but I can't tell you too much about me. You'd probably wouldn't believe me. I have done many things that in my life I am not proud. I have done many things that I don't even want to share with you right now. I love you all, from the bottom of my heart. You are my pride, my joy and my reason to live. You give me hope and I will love you even after the day I die. Because you are my children, you are my only real mark in this world. Nothing else matters but what I teach you today, the words that I will say that will mold you into the individuals that you will become and you will be brilliant, smart and loving people. And you will change the world.
Chase the morning, yeild for nothing my loves!
-Forever and always, love your mother.
To my Children:
I am your mother, reason you are here. I am your savior and judgement depends on what I teach you through the years. Let me tell you somethings, about me that I do not hold with pride. Things that I want you to know, some very good advice. I was fifteen when my family broke apart, my father leaving my mother and I, her with a broken heart and me with a broken mind. Nothing in life is to be feared is to only be understood, my father I could never understand and so instead I feared him but now I hate him so. For leaving me in this world, cold and alone. My mother was no saint, even though she would like the think she was. She was an abusive wench, who beat me with a brush. But my life doesn't stop out of house and home, I know that I say that they're are no strangers merely friends you have not yet met. But there is a loophole and it is that, some people want to use you while others want to abuse you. And some rare people will love you, no matter how much you do not want them to. Normal is not something to aspire to, but something to get away from. Because 'Normal' is a setting on a washing machine, and I want you to always tolerate difference. And then during my life, I found love four different times. Once with a girl and three times with guys. Love is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting them enough not to. I trusted too many and too easily and so my heart was always broken and there is nothing that can mend a broken heart or even a split mind. Diagnosis and mental history would tell me that I suffer from manic depression, that is sadly hereditary. And so I may have indeed passed down this curse to you, and so I am very sorry. But I cannot take it back, like anything that I am not proud of that I have done in the past. You would have had another sibling but that was when I was very young and living on the street because my mother threw me out of the house. And so I was taken in by a group of biker chicks, but one of the people was male that hung around all of the time. Getting laid but one of the girls each night. One of these girls was me and I sadly fell in love, but I lost my mind when pregnancy came upon me at age seventeen.
A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on, well this baby was never meant to live because I was living on the street. And the pain and that child, haunt me to this day that I aborted the fetus, told by the father for his own selfish gain. Now many times in my life I have questioned my reason to live, and each time I found another reason to try and end my life. The rope and the knife were already my friends, so this time I tried sleeping pills. But I will skip that and fast forward to the advice, always think before you do something because suicide is not the answer. Nothing in my life made me want to commit suicide more than people's reaction to me trying to commit suicide. So never pick up the pills, the knife, the pistol, or tie a noose because my children, you may not realize it but you have a lot to lose. Because someone wants you to be alive, I know I do. And one day you will meet that someone who will stand by your side and want to be with no matter what. Advice, advice, so much to say and so little time. Actually I have all the time in the world, but I can't tell you too much about me. You'd probably wouldn't believe me. I have done many things that in my life I am not proud. I have done many things that I don't even want to share with you right now. I love you all, from the bottom of my heart. You are my pride, my joy and my reason to live. You give me hope and I will love you even after the day I die. Because you are my children, you are my only real mark in this world. Nothing else matters but what I teach you today, the words that I will say that will mold you into the individuals that you will become and you will be brilliant, smart and loving people. And you will change the world.
Chase the morning, yeild for nothing my loves!
-Forever and always, love your mother.
To my mother:
I'm sorry I put you through misery,
Sorry I couldn't be what you wanted me to be.
Sorry I couldn't laugh another day,
Sorry I didn't have the right words to say.
Sorry I sometimes began to cry,
Sorry I hid my pain with a lie.
Sorry I continue to scar my arms,
Sorry I keep causing harm.
Sorry I am not so perfect,
Sorry I can't stop hurting.
Basically, all that I'm saying to you,
Is things that I thought you knew.
I'm sorry for not knowing how to smile,
I'm sorry that you've been hurting for awhile.
I'm sorry that you can't mend,
Something that's will be broken til the end.
I'm sorry that I'm such a monster,
I'm sorry but I can't take this much longer.
I'm sorry, I really mean it,
Even if it doesn't fit.
Sometimes the angels who always smile,
Hide pain for quite a while.
But eventually that will come crashing down,
When the angel shoots herself, crying without sound.
And as she falls straight to Hell,
She'll let loose things she said she'd never tell.
All those things that brought her to her knees,
She'll let everyone else hear and see,
And though her screams will eventually be lost,
The laughter of those who mocked her will not.
I'm sorry I put you through misery,
Sorry I couldn't be what you wanted me to be.
Sorry I couldn't laugh another day,
Sorry I didn't have the right words to say.
Sorry I sometimes began to cry,
Sorry I hid my pain with a lie.
Sorry I continue to scar my arms,
Sorry I keep causing harm.
Sorry I am not so perfect,
Sorry I can't stop hurting.
Basically, all that I'm saying to you,
Is things that I thought you knew.
I'm sorry for not knowing how to smile,
I'm sorry that you've been hurting for awhile.
I'm sorry that you can't mend,
Something that's will be broken til the end.
I'm sorry that I'm such a monster,
I'm sorry but I can't take this much longer.
I'm sorry, I really mean it,
Even if it doesn't fit.
Sometimes the angels who always smile,
Hide pain for quite a while.
But eventually that will come crashing down,
When the angel shoots herself, crying without sound.
And as she falls straight to Hell,
She'll let loose things she said she'd never tell.
All those things that brought her to her knees,
She'll let everyone else hear and see,
And though her screams will eventually be lost,
The laughter of those who mocked her will not.
I can't take this anymore!
Seriously, I heard it all before!
'What type of daughter are you?'
'God, isn't that something you shoulda knew?'
I watched myself bleed again today,
But would you care if you saw it yourself anyway?
Another attempt to off myself,
My friends all call me 'Miss Kill Herself'.
I bet you can't hear me scream,
Because all you say is 'Don't cause a scene!'
And were I to ask for help,
You'd tell me I should be ashamed of myself.
When did everyone come before me?
When did the day come when I didn't want to see?
Ugh, you make me want to punch you!
You make me want to hit you in the face with a shoe!
Can't you see?
You're smothering me!
Leave me alone,
Your heart is hard as stone!
What type of place is this?
I doubt I'd ever miss it.
These things that pain me you should've known,
God this place is NOT a home!
I'm screaming!
Why aren't you listening?!
I'm crying!
Why can't you see I'm dying?!
Listen to me!
Listen to me, god damn it!
Seriously, I heard it all before!
'What type of daughter are you?'
'God, isn't that something you shoulda knew?'
I watched myself bleed again today,
But would you care if you saw it yourself anyway?
Another attempt to off myself,
My friends all call me 'Miss Kill Herself'.
I bet you can't hear me scream,
Because all you say is 'Don't cause a scene!'
And were I to ask for help,
You'd tell me I should be ashamed of myself.
When did everyone come before me?
When did the day come when I didn't want to see?
Ugh, you make me want to punch you!
You make me want to hit you in the face with a shoe!
Can't you see?
You're smothering me!
Leave me alone,
Your heart is hard as stone!
What type of place is this?
I doubt I'd ever miss it.
These things that pain me you should've known,
God this place is NOT a home!
I'm screaming!
Why aren't you listening?!
I'm crying!
Why can't you see I'm dying?!
Listen to me!
Listen to me, god damn it!
It's great to see you turn away
and not listen.
It's really usual isn't it?
Knowing that you don't care anymore.
Not sure why I'm
shocked.
This silence is as worthless
as you both are.
So dear mother,
your name calling, your
insults
and your
curses,
it makes me feel like nothing.
But I'm fucked up,
because you are.
And dear father,
you're no better are you?
Do I exist in your world?
Your only daughter, does she remain in
your mind?
I'm locked away in my mind,
you can't find me.
I'm gone,
but before I completely
vanish
I'll make sure to fuck up your
happiness.
Because, that's what you expect of
me,
isn't it?
I'll keep screaming and
you'll continue not listening
right?
Isn't that how it goes,
mommy and daddy?
That's just the nature of
my life
isn't it?
and not listen.
It's really usual isn't it?
Knowing that you don't care anymore.
Not sure why I'm
shocked.
This silence is as worthless
as you both are.
So dear mother,
your name calling, your
insults
and your
curses,
it makes me feel like nothing.
But I'm fucked up,
because you are.
And dear father,
you're no better are you?
Do I exist in your world?
Your only daughter, does she remain in
your mind?
I'm locked away in my mind,
you can't find me.
I'm gone,
but before I completely
vanish
I'll make sure to fuck up your
happiness.
Because, that's what you expect of
me,
isn't it?
I'll keep screaming and
you'll continue not listening
right?
Isn't that how it goes,
mommy and daddy?
That's just the nature of
my life
isn't it?
Sailor and a Momma's Boy
I'm a little boy at the age of 3
I just found the bestest mommy for me.
I'm 5 or 6 now, somewhere in that range
She legally adopted me now, I just got my name change.
Just past 7, and now I'm 8
Realizing how lucky I am she found me before it was too late.
Starting my teen years, going into 8th grade
Thinking of the big difference in my life momma has made.
I finally did it, high school is here
I hear her sweet voice saying "don't worry, it'll be ok dear".
I did cross country, football, basketball, baseball, track and field
Never once did she stop supporting me, never once did her faith in me yield.
Certificates, metals, rings, patches, award banquets with friends on all sides
She was always there waiting for me at the end, beaming with joy and pride.
I'm in San Diego now, taking my oath, right hand raised
And she still showers me with love, encouragement, and praise.
I'm finally back home after 3 months of boot camp on Christmas break
There's all my favorite dishes she promised she would make.
With a bittersweet tone I tell her Spain is the next place I to which I must go
A mix of emotions, for these next 3 years will be hard, this we know.
We're at Ontario airport now, she gives me one final hug goodbye
We're all doing our very best to not be to sad and cry.
Now here i stand, a U.S. sailor, serving for my country and for her
We will get through this and stay strong, of this I am sure.
Because even though I'm not reading in her lap or begging for a new toy
I'm proud to say that I still am and always will be a momma's boy.
I'm a little boy at the age of 3
I just found the bestest mommy for me.
I'm 5 or 6 now, somewhere in that range
She legally adopted me now, I just got my name change.
Just past 7, and now I'm 8
Realizing how lucky I am she found me before it was too late.
Starting my teen years, going into 8th grade
Thinking of the big difference in my life momma has made.
I finally did it, high school is here
I hear her sweet voice saying "don't worry, it'll be ok dear".
I did cross country, football, basketball, baseball, track and field
Never once did she stop supporting me, never once did her faith in me yield.
Certificates, metals, rings, patches, award banquets with friends on all sides
She was always there waiting for me at the end, beaming with joy and pride.
I'm in San Diego now, taking my oath, right hand raised
And she still showers me with love, encouragement, and praise.
I'm finally back home after 3 months of boot camp on Christmas break
There's all my favorite dishes she promised she would make.
With a bittersweet tone I tell her Spain is the next place I to which I must go
A mix of emotions, for these next 3 years will be hard, this we know.
We're at Ontario airport now, she gives me one final hug goodbye
We're all doing our very best to not be to sad and cry.
Now here i stand, a U.S. sailor, serving for my country and for her
We will get through this and stay strong, of this I am sure.
Because even though I'm not reading in her lap or begging for a new toy
I'm proud to say that I still am and always will be a momma's boy.
Consumed
Your eyes
Search the gloom
For mine-
But you find
Only
Blackness.
I have hidden
From the fire
Of the hatred
And fear
In the soul
You sought to
Hide from me.
Where could I run?
Where could I hide?
The fire was searching
For me
Calling
For me
Drawing me in
Simply by being
Close.
The heat in the hate
Consumed me.
Why could I see
What you were doing
To me?
Smoke
Hides
Flame.
And when
Time passed,
When the smoke
Had cleared...
It was too late.
Ashes to ashes
You left me-
Not gone,
but distant,
As the apathy
Of my brainwashed
Love
Consumed me.
But
Now
I'm
Free.
The glory of passion
Is mine once more.
But if
Freedom is so sweet
Why do I remember
Your face
And weep?
Your eyes
Search the gloom
For mine-
But you find
Only
Blackness.
I have hidden
From the fire
Of the hatred
And fear
In the soul
You sought to
Hide from me.
Where could I run?
Where could I hide?
The fire was searching
For me
Calling
For me
Drawing me in
Simply by being
Close.
The heat in the hate
Consumed me.
Why could I see
What you were doing
To me?
Smoke
Hides
Flame.
And when
Time passed,
When the smoke
Had cleared...
It was too late.
Ashes to ashes
You left me-
Not gone,
but distant,
As the apathy
Of my brainwashed
Love
Consumed me.
But
Now
I'm
Free.
The glory of passion
Is mine once more.
But if
Freedom is so sweet
Why do I remember
Your face
And weep?
My father as a sea captain
On a cool damp night
the patter of the port subsided
drips of the cold rain echo
a captain ripe with whiskey
breaks the silence of the harbor
feeling his way back
to the flat on high street
navigating his feet on each stone
he muttered to himself
“left, right and then right again”
ending at a stoop
he found the nob within three
“click” the humble door opened
entering the dwelling
ready for the weeks pummel
he swung his fists at the inhabitants
especially the women, the wife
this night was routine
the smell of whiskey, puke and piss is familiar
but, tonight the mist in the air was different
his blood boiled with fermented spirits
his eyes gazed an emptiness of black
with a quick hand
reaching for a sparkle of steel
he firmed his grip and pulled from the block
it made a “ting” sound as it cut the air
meeting gently with mothers throat
with rage, his eyes stabbed with intention
holding the cold steel to freckled skin
his remarks filled her eyes with fear
and I in the corner, watching, listening, feeling and rocking
yes that was you, as a sea captain
and I was there
On a cool damp night
the patter of the port subsided
drips of the cold rain echo
a captain ripe with whiskey
breaks the silence of the harbor
feeling his way back
to the flat on high street
navigating his feet on each stone
he muttered to himself
“left, right and then right again”
ending at a stoop
he found the nob within three
“click” the humble door opened
entering the dwelling
ready for the weeks pummel
he swung his fists at the inhabitants
especially the women, the wife
this night was routine
the smell of whiskey, puke and piss is familiar
but, tonight the mist in the air was different
his blood boiled with fermented spirits
his eyes gazed an emptiness of black
with a quick hand
reaching for a sparkle of steel
he firmed his grip and pulled from the block
it made a “ting” sound as it cut the air
meeting gently with mothers throat
with rage, his eyes stabbed with intention
holding the cold steel to freckled skin
his remarks filled her eyes with fear
and I in the corner, watching, listening, feeling and rocking
yes that was you, as a sea captain
and I was there
“M.F.”
by: Eric L. Boddie
All I ever wanted was you from the moment I grew
Inside the womb because that process takes two
And mama was there as she has always been
But it hurts me in my soul to know I was conceived in sin
I guess that’s why you never laid your hands on my heart
Since with some of my siblings, you’ve been there from the start
Still when I was a child, you received my innocent love
Because mama gave me the teachings of the man up above
And I wanted you in my life, and believe me I tried
But my every advance was swiftly denied
Do you know how that feels in the heart of a child
The cause of many tribulations and trials
Noticeable scars all to the mind and the soul
Neglect is the weapon that turns the heart cold
Producing pure hate because the heart is deprived
But everyone knows the strong will survive
And mama gave me love, the source of my strength
And where were you on my sweet 16th
You didn’t teach me to drive or help me develop my shot
So I strive to be all that you’re not
You didn’t teach me to fight or how to holler at girls
You left it up to a woman to shape a man’s world
But I don’t hate you, even though I once did
Because there’s only 2 emotions in the heart of a kid
But I’m a man now, and that’s no thanks to you
And since I was a child, the anger just grew
I want to fight you, just one real good time
That’s the only way I know to get the stress off my mind
But I can’t do that, mama said it’s in vain
So guess what, I got to live with the pain
And it hurts for 1440 minutes a day
But I know there’s a God, and through Him, you will pay
Because He gave me life, but I came through you
And I was raised by 1, it should have been 2
And mama worked hard to keep food on the table
And taught me that there were better things than fine clothes and cable
But she defended your ass and I never knew why
Since you had the finer things that money could buy
And we were poor, truly poor indeed
Nothing that we want, but everything we need
And I was rich, I know that’s misunderstood
But mama was teaching me the power of good
And I couldn’t help but learn since she talks so loud
Even though I know she isn’t completely proud
Since I haven’t forgiven you, though I pray I 1 day can
But it will take some time, I’m only a man
And you’re a sucker, even though you look like a man
But I had to come through you, it was in His plan
And a mistake is all that He can’t make
And I know that only He can sooth the ache
So I pray for the strength to forgive, to ease the pain that I live
The pain that I live, you caused the pain that I live
Cause all I wanted was you since all I had was a mother
I wish I had a father, instead I got a motherfucker
by: Eric L. Boddie
All I ever wanted was you from the moment I grew
Inside the womb because that process takes two
And mama was there as she has always been
But it hurts me in my soul to know I was conceived in sin
I guess that’s why you never laid your hands on my heart
Since with some of my siblings, you’ve been there from the start
Still when I was a child, you received my innocent love
Because mama gave me the teachings of the man up above
And I wanted you in my life, and believe me I tried
But my every advance was swiftly denied
Do you know how that feels in the heart of a child
The cause of many tribulations and trials
Noticeable scars all to the mind and the soul
Neglect is the weapon that turns the heart cold
Producing pure hate because the heart is deprived
But everyone knows the strong will survive
And mama gave me love, the source of my strength
And where were you on my sweet 16th
You didn’t teach me to drive or help me develop my shot
So I strive to be all that you’re not
You didn’t teach me to fight or how to holler at girls
You left it up to a woman to shape a man’s world
But I don’t hate you, even though I once did
Because there’s only 2 emotions in the heart of a kid
But I’m a man now, and that’s no thanks to you
And since I was a child, the anger just grew
I want to fight you, just one real good time
That’s the only way I know to get the stress off my mind
But I can’t do that, mama said it’s in vain
So guess what, I got to live with the pain
And it hurts for 1440 minutes a day
But I know there’s a God, and through Him, you will pay
Because He gave me life, but I came through you
And I was raised by 1, it should have been 2
And mama worked hard to keep food on the table
And taught me that there were better things than fine clothes and cable
But she defended your ass and I never knew why
Since you had the finer things that money could buy
And we were poor, truly poor indeed
Nothing that we want, but everything we need
And I was rich, I know that’s misunderstood
But mama was teaching me the power of good
And I couldn’t help but learn since she talks so loud
Even though I know she isn’t completely proud
Since I haven’t forgiven you, though I pray I 1 day can
But it will take some time, I’m only a man
And you’re a sucker, even though you look like a man
But I had to come through you, it was in His plan
And a mistake is all that He can’t make
And I know that only He can sooth the ache
So I pray for the strength to forgive, to ease the pain that I live
The pain that I live, you caused the pain that I live
Cause all I wanted was you since all I had was a mother
I wish I had a father, instead I got a motherfucker
