Funniest Story Ever

Basically, Write up a story or poem about something funny that has happened to you, someone you know, or completely made up.

Completely true of course... & maybe not for the squeamish

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/29106-hot-sex-with-grandmaaah/

what do you call a man with no feet....
a slacker because he won't compeat
what do you call a man with no eyes....
it must be you in disguise
what do you call a man with no home....
that's easy, he must be alone
what do you call a straight man who sucks on fags....
an englishman....i know all the brits are saying dag
what do you call the biggest drug addict you've ever seen....
2 and a half men would call him charlie sheen
& what would you call any man who doesn't Believe in God....
u give up yet....dead as a fucking door knob....lol

they are just jokes so dont be offended....& if you are then to hell with it....im just a part time comedian....i don't get paid for it yet....lmao

alone in this cold world without a friend by me
blown by this old girl, thought she was chinese
took a step back - she was darker than Hershey
she was looking for a fuckfest, "fuck me please"
told her to undress; you wouldn't believe what i see.
a jungle, a forest, and two bubble bees
she went down like a hornet; stuffed her tree
she bent down like a whorette;
wait... is that Pamela's double dees?
fuck no, let's regress. Its Tim... from grade three.
now i'm worried, thinking about HIV
wondering why this had to happen to me
rushed to the toilet... really had to pee
flushed my rolex between the blood stained seat
pants at my ankles; hands rushed to my feet
stuck in the washroom - i really need to creep
now i'm waiting for Tim to fall asleep  
to meet my girl and tell her "i'm a cheat, &
caught HIV by a man standing five foot three.."