Corseted

 
I called her on the telephone  
I guess I was going through this fever phase  
You know how long they last  
But I had to give in to what the hearts wants  
I thought we’d have a blast  
 
She said hurry up and come  
So I ran faster than race horses  
She opened the door amused  
The best booty calls come late at night  
The kind that light the fuse  
 
And she wore a  
Little red corset  
That’s going to come off fast  
Little red corset  
The time for formalities had passed  
 
I couldn’t believe my eyes  
A cleavage so full they were begging to be set free  
I wished I could have taken a picture  
Of her and them and me  
 
But then I began to worry  
I didn’t have enough enough class  
When I couldn’t unfasten the lace that was it tied up tight  
Then I felt like a dumbass  
This damn..  
 
Little red corset  
I’m here at long last  
But I feel far  
Little red corset  
I can’t get to her breasts now I’m all aghast  
 
Boobies like hers  
Are on another scale  
I want to do something very obscene  
I’m crying like a baby  
Getting down on my knees  
I can’t remove the tied up laces on this mean…  
 
Little red corset  
I’m here at long last  
Little red corset  
I can’t get to her breasts now I’m all aghast  
 
Little red corset  
The wait is making me go down  
I’m feeling like a clown  
Fickle damn corset  
 
“Baby, I’m sorry I can’t remove this damned corset  
You know I want to pound  
But this corset  
I can’t take it down  
Why didn’t you wear a gown?  
 
I’ll try another round  
On this red corset  
But the time is going by fast  
My erection is not going to last  
 
Uh-oh, ooh, hmm,  
Listen my darling lovely queen  
I just can’t hide  
I have to tell you the truth  
I made a mess now my pants are unclean”  
 
It was too much at last  
That little red corset  
I spilled my love  
I spilled my love all over my pants  
Because of that damn  
Little red corset

My love,
As he glanced at me
What about a lingerer
Fitted, squeezed,
Does he not see how all of this  
Curved and folds….
What about a corset  
Sexy, tight  
He smiles
My thought, fight or flight.
Imagine me,
In a corset
Belly flowing above and below  
Hell no!
Yet I indulge  
For my curiosity  
Paves the way to embarrass me
As he instructed,
Alexa confirm order.

The archivist in the British Museum looked puzzled as he inspected it. Meanwhile the two forgers looked at each other smiling confidently, Tarquin spoke first, "and where did you obtain the garment gentlemen?" with a hint of sarcasm in his voice," well sir" said Vic t'was from a big house sale, some good stuff there, but to expensive for us. We just made a offer for the unsold tat. The corset was in some old laundry basket, by the looks of it, bin in the cellar for donkeys years,
Tarquin continued," and pray what lead you the believe it to be worn by Nell Gwyn" well replied Vic's partner in crime Billy, "It was the laundry list in the basket you see sir" and proffered a dog eared scrap to the expert
Tarquin's heart raced as he looked down the list of items. Handkerchiefs, silk gloves and at the bottom, an item underlined in red ( Nell Gwyn's corset). Tarquin's eyes rolled behind closed lids, he visualised the kings hands reaching for the mounds of flesh that it held restrained. Fumbling with the lacing, the king frustrated, sweeping her up towards the four poster bed.
Tarquin returned to reality. "I am just going to inspect it gents" putting on white gloves. he had to admit the needlecraft was exquisite, the closeness of whale bone stiffeners, topped with Honiton lace and pink bows
"Of course we will have to do some background checks" he pronounced. Billy interjected "we believe its the same one we seen her wearing in a picture on line guv", and its got a small monogram on the hem". The expert was starting to bubble inside, he thought think of the reputation amongst is peers, if its genuine, promotion and maybe a book deal perhaps a invitation to the Masons, secretly envying the the experts called to prevaricate on such matters
 
Billy and Vic excused themselves needing the toilet, beaming at each other as they peed in the urinal. " I think he's buying it said Billy!, that was inspired of you, seeing the monogram, and saying that old piece of tat could have been worn by Nell Gwyn, and from that point, the plan was formed. A friend had forged the laundry list from headed notepaper that came with the auction lot. As they both dried their hands thinking of the thousands soon to be lining there pockets.
Tarquin gave them a receipt for the corset and laundry list, the two con men pressing the expert as to the time frame to verify the articles as genuine. The expert thanked them, and assured them, that he was cautiously optimistic, given the amount of corroborating evidence
 
The auction inventory list had been distributed and there was great excitement and public interest, bidders from all around the word The corset had been mounted on a mannequin for display. The two crooks had booked a swish hotel in London's Park Lane, knowing they could easily pay the bill with the proceeds,  because the sale was the next day. After a slap up meal with washed down with an expensive bottle of wine. The two retired to beds in a suite with adjoining rooms, In the morning Billy woke gasping for breath his stomach pinched tight, shouting to his accomplice  "Vic are you ok" Vic appeared crawling on all fours "what in gods name was in that food he moaned"  
 
The note was lying on the dressing table in copperplate handwriting
 
 ( I have you in MY clutches you pair of charlatan's
for years I had to suffer being bound in these terrible  garments
I will haunt you until you change your ways.  
Every morning you will wake, as you are now  
dreading to go to sleep, this curse you have brought upon yourselves)
 
Signed Nell Gwyn,  
 
Unseen she admired her shapely figure, corset hugging her tight. Let out a ghostly laugh and left the room.
 
The end