Poetry competition CLOSED 1st October 2019 9:27pm
WINNER
Josh (Joshua Bond)
Josh (Joshua Bond)
RUNNER-UP:
Tallen
book titles poem
4 hours to go till close of competition.
it'll take me a day or so to go through each fully and comment on their content so bear with me. there's some juicy stuff here and i love that people have risen to the challenge so well - y'all good peoples.
it'll take me a day or so to go through each fully and comment on their content so bear with me. there's some juicy stuff here and i love that people have risen to the challenge so well - y'all good peoples.
mysteriouslady said:Ive Got My Eyes On You
Remember Me?
you always Let Me Call You Sweetheart
especially when were
All Around The Town
The Shadow Of Your Smile
made me shoon
and reminds me
Theres No Place Like Home
Just Take My Heart
during a sweet kiss
The Night Awakens
as does my soul
never forget our ad~
Loves Music, Loves to Dance
Until We Meet Again
i hope Ill Never Walk Alone...
Title of this write and all the emphasis on titles in this write are the works of my personal Fave, Thee Queen of Suspense, Mary Higgins Clark. She was and has been my fictional savior for many years...
I can list the book titles if need be. great comp<3
hi, mysteriouslady
firstly - you probably didn't notice but i asked you to list the credits under your poem. perhaps if you would?
secondly, i love how these are titles of your favourite author. i think that lends it a certain voice, or accent, that remains true throughout.
i was confused by your use of shoon - care to elaborate?
Remember Me?
you always Let Me Call You Sweetheart
especially when were
All Around The Town
The Shadow Of Your Smile
made me shoon
and reminds me
Theres No Place Like Home
Just Take My Heart
during a sweet kiss
The Night Awakens
as does my soul
never forget our ad~
Loves Music, Loves to Dance
Until We Meet Again
i hope Ill Never Walk Alone...
Title of this write and all the emphasis on titles in this write are the works of my personal Fave, Thee Queen of Suspense, Mary Higgins Clark. She was and has been my fictional savior for many years...
I can list the book titles if need be. great comp<3
hi, mysteriouslady
firstly - you probably didn't notice but i asked you to list the credits under your poem. perhaps if you would?
secondly, i love how these are titles of your favourite author. i think that lends it a certain voice, or accent, that remains true throughout.
i was confused by your use of shoon - care to elaborate?
Carpe_Noctem said:Art Of War
Oh brave new world
stolen in 1984
Do androids dream of electric sheep
Does a red pill
compliment chicken soup for the soul
Are we god emperor
Dreaming separate reality
Did we crawl from beneath the overcoat
just to kill a mocking bird
all in the name of war and peace really like this; recognising the titles and the contents of their books helped me, i think, to fit more into this poem than if i hadn't. it's a clever interweaving of titles and meaning.
i'd also request you edit your entry to include the title credits as requested. thanks
Oh brave new world
stolen in 1984
Do androids dream of electric sheep
Does a red pill
compliment chicken soup for the soul
Are we god emperor
Dreaming separate reality
Did we crawl from beneath the overcoat
just to kill a mocking bird
all in the name of war and peace really like this; recognising the titles and the contents of their books helped me, i think, to fit more into this poem than if i hadn't. it's a clever interweaving of titles and meaning.
i'd also request you edit your entry to include the title credits as requested. thanks
Philosophy For Life
When I was like Hippos Go Berserk!
no guide to show me the way
I was the untethered soul
immersed in Zen Meditation.
Though not quite Turning Japanese
decided on A Trip to South America
maybe discover my own
Book of Thorns replacing my youth
& Pocket Pal
with my Pocket Zen.
I did managed to uncover
The Hound of Heaven
amidst Sapiens in the
Southern Hemisphere
guiding me
to a new type of Philosophy For Life.
_______________________________________________
1. Philosophy For Life, Jules Evans, 2012
2. Hippos Go Berserk!, Sandra Boynton, 1977
3. the untethered soul, Michael A. Singer, 2007
4. Zen Meditation, John Daishin Buksbazen, 2001
5. Turning Japanese, David Mura, 1991
6. A Trip to South America, Mrs. C.A. Stueve, 1931
7. Book of Thorns, Black Velvet Rose (Nikki), 2013
8. Pocket Pal, Int’l Paper, Michael H. Bruno (editor), 17th edition 1997
9. Pocket Zen, Thomas Cleary (editor), 1991
10. The Hound of Heaven, Francis Thompson, 1916
11. Sapiens, Yuval Noah Harari, 2011
Written by Tallen
(earth_empath)
Go To Page
Tallen said:you had me from 'hippos go beserk'! who couldn't love that phrase in a poem? 
cohesive theme, not interrupted by the text inbetween but, rather, strengthened by it. a dip into the philosophical; didn't recognise all the titles but most of them, but reading this left me smiling and wondering about the imagery (and book) that title Hound of Heaven engendered.
cohesive theme, not interrupted by the text inbetween but, rather, strengthened by it. a dip into the philosophical; didn't recognise all the titles but most of them, but reading this left me smiling and wondering about the imagery (and book) that title Hound of Heaven engendered.
What You Can See Goes On Forever
( prose poetry )
It was a wrinkle in time. When
little women raised the kids and
went to church, and the other
sex was of mice and men
gambling away the bank loans
and utility bills. It was a tale
of two cities only it was two
towns miles apart with most
the firearms socked away in
every pawn shop within a fifty
mile radius due to drinking and
carousing at the honky-tonk
bars. Anywhere east of Eden,
where the sidewalk ends, is
where everything else was
blamed on the fault in our stars.
Ya, thats’s right - give it over to
God while its catching fire.
I was called Rebecca ‘cause the
family had great expectations of
me; though being dirt-poor folk
leading a hard-scrabble life
their feelings for me were split
between pride and prejudice.
It seemed like the story of my
life ( which had begun when I
was born in 1984 on a farm in a
barn I called the animal house
as a child ), but most of the
evidence of this claim has all
gone with the wind as it tends to
do out in the country where the
land is flat and there’s nothing
to see, but what you can see
goes on forever.
Like when my great-grandpa
wandered off in his dungarees
one morning after one hundred
years of solitude, celebrating
silence, standing in the middle of
our wheat field ready for the
harvest as if in a brave new
world, but to me he looked like
the old man and the sea with
the wheat like ocean waves all
around him. The help wouldn’t
be over for another week.
Titles with authors credit used in the poem:
"Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen
“1984" by George Orwell
“Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott
"Gone with the Wind" by Margaret Mitchell
"The Help" by Kathryn Stockett
"A Wrinkle in Time" by Madeleine L'Engle
"Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck
"A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens
"Where the Sidewalk Ends" by Shel Silverstein
"The Fault in Our Stars" by John Green
"East of Eden" by John Steinbeck
"Rebecca" by Daphne du Maurier
"Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens
"The Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Hemingway
"Celebrating Silence” by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
"Catching Fire" by Sue Monk Kidd
"One Hundred Years of Solitude" by Gabriel García Márquez
"The Story of My Life" by Helen Keller
“Brave New World” by Aldous Huxley
“Animal House” by Chris Miller
It was a wrinkle in time. When
little women raised the kids and
went to church, and the other
sex was of mice and men
gambling away the bank loans
and utility bills. It was a tale
of two cities only it was two
towns miles apart with most
the firearms socked away in
every pawn shop within a fifty
mile radius due to drinking and
carousing at the honky-tonk
bars. Anywhere east of Eden,
where the sidewalk ends, is
where everything else was
blamed on the fault in our stars.
Ya, thats’s right - give it over to
God while its catching fire.
I was called Rebecca ‘cause the
family had great expectations of
me; though being dirt-poor folk
leading a hard-scrabble life
their feelings for me were split
between pride and prejudice.
It seemed like the story of my
life ( which had begun when I
was born in 1984 on a farm in a
barn I called the animal house
as a child ), but most of the
evidence of this claim has all
gone with the wind as it tends to
do out in the country where the
land is flat and there’s nothing
to see, but what you can see
goes on forever.
Like when my great-grandpa
wandered off in his dungarees
one morning after one hundred
years of solitude, celebrating
silence, standing in the middle of
our wheat field ready for the
harvest as if in a brave new
world, but to me he looked like
the old man and the sea with
the wheat like ocean waves all
around him. The help wouldn’t
be over for another week.
Titles with authors credit used in the poem:
"Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen
“1984" by George Orwell
“Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott
"Gone with the Wind" by Margaret Mitchell
"The Help" by Kathryn Stockett
"A Wrinkle in Time" by Madeleine L'Engle
"Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck
"A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens
"Where the Sidewalk Ends" by Shel Silverstein
"The Fault in Our Stars" by John Green
"East of Eden" by John Steinbeck
"Rebecca" by Daphne du Maurier
"Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens
"The Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Hemingway
"Celebrating Silence” by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
"Catching Fire" by Sue Monk Kidd
"One Hundred Years of Solitude" by Gabriel García Márquez
"The Story of My Life" by Helen Keller
“Brave New World” by Aldous Huxley
“Animal House” by Chris Miller
Written by Jade-Pandora
(jade tiger)
Go To Page
Jade-Pandora said:
hello, jade
so we move from Tallen's philosophy to your wistful reminiscence piece: all the titles were well-used to create that theme of times gone by, when life was different, the world moved to a different tune. reminded me of looking through an old photgraph album, the oldest pictures all in sepia.
hello, jade
so we move from Tallen's philosophy to your wistful reminiscence piece: all the titles were well-used to create that theme of times gone by, when life was different, the world moved to a different tune. reminded me of looking through an old photgraph album, the oldest pictures all in sepia.
The Avid Reader at The Social
Retreat from The Stone Angel
Thy Neighbour's Wife
could be Candy
The Valley of the Dolls gather
eyeing The Bottoms
my Geek Love
fancies Body Rides
but The Key To Rebecca
requires I follow
The Rules of Attraction.
Thy Neighbour's Wife
could be Candy
The Valley of the Dolls gather
eyeing The Bottoms
my Geek Love
fancies Body Rides
but The Key To Rebecca
requires I follow
The Rules of Attraction.
Written by Tenderloin
Go To Page
Tenderloin said:hiya
please edit your entry to include the credits for the book titles?
short, neat, and focused write. clever title and allusions - lol, the poor narrator's wife/g.f as the stone angel? priceless. poor, sex-starved avid reader at the social, who recognises they need to obey certain social rules of engagement if they hope to score. pithy.
please edit your entry to include the credits for the book titles?
short, neat, and focused write. clever title and allusions - lol, the poor narrator's wife/g.f as the stone angel? priceless. poor, sex-starved avid reader at the social, who recognises they need to obey certain social rules of engagement if they hope to score. pithy.
Related submission no longer exists.
Eerie said:https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/360677-the-angel-of-darkness/hi, Eerie
lots to like in this deliciously darkly-humoured little number. my personal favourite strophe is no.3... gave me a big smile, caught up in the visuals.
lots to like in this deliciously darkly-humoured little number. my personal favourite strophe is no.3... gave me a big smile, caught up in the visuals.
Related submission no longer exists.
Anonymous said:<< post removed >>
hiya
this had me grinning in the aisles and appreciating the deft use of titles. splitting them this way was original and drove the narrative from one strophe to the next, introducing new concepts and imagery at each turn. you made the titles work doubly hard. clever stuff.
hiya
this had me grinning in the aisles and appreciating the deft use of titles. splitting them this way was original and drove the narrative from one strophe to the next, introducing new concepts and imagery at each turn. you made the titles work doubly hard. clever stuff.
From My Library to Yours
First Things First, I've been Facing Autism for many years,
But I’ve also been Failing Forward progressively as well,
I’m a Master of the Game lately I’ve been Feeling Good,
It’s been like The Metamorphoses for me as far as I can tell.
It’s like trying to Burn Brightly Without Burning Out,
I have to work to remain optimistic in the Road Ahead,
Looking for that Life Balance because The Sky’s the Limit,
Because evidently When I Stop Talking, You’ll Know I’m Dead.
But in the meantime I’m searching for that Tipping Point,
I’m Riveted with Unlimited Power, stronger than Moby-Dick,
Oh Beloved poets let’s put together Words of Wisdom,
So The Sound and the Fury of our collective voices will click.
Let’s Wake Up and Live, let’s be the Seed of Greatness,
We’ll bleed Blood and Gold like gods of old in a Prophecy,
For As a Man Thinketh he shall become that which he desires,
Because in The Odyssey not everything goes as flawlessly.
This is A Call to Arms you should be Pulling Your Own Strings,
Let’s live life according to our own terms so take The Stand,
Dream Big but you also have to Think Like a Winner,
Awaken the Giant Within because the future is at hand.
First Things First - Stephen R. Covey
Facing Autism - Lynn M. Hamilton
Failing Forward - John C. Maxwell
Master of the Game - Sidney Sheldon
Feeling Good - David D. Burns
The Metamorphoses- Ovid
Burn Brightly Without Burning – Richard Briggs
The Road Ahead – Bill Gate
Life Balance - Richard M. Eyre
The Sky's the Limit – Wayne Dyer
When I Stop Talking, You'll Know I'm Dead -Jerry Weintraub
Tipping Point – Malcom Gladwell
Riveted – Jim Davies
Unlimited Power – Tony Robbins
Moby-Dick – Herman Melville
Beloved – Toni Marrison
Words of Wisdom – Thomas C. Jones3
The Sound and the Fury – William Faulkner
Wake Up and Live – Dorothea Brande
Seed of Greatness – Dennis Waitley
Blood and Gold – Anne Rice
Prophecy – Robert Kiyosaki
As a Man Thinketh – James Allen
The Odyssey - Homer
A Call to Arms – Alan Dean Foster
Pulling Your Own Strings – Wayne Dyer
The Stand – Stephen King
Dream Big – Christiana Correa
Think Like a Winner – Walter Doyle Staples
Awaken the Giant Within – Tony Robbins
But I’ve also been Failing Forward progressively as well,
I’m a Master of the Game lately I’ve been Feeling Good,
It’s been like The Metamorphoses for me as far as I can tell.
It’s like trying to Burn Brightly Without Burning Out,
I have to work to remain optimistic in the Road Ahead,
Looking for that Life Balance because The Sky’s the Limit,
Because evidently When I Stop Talking, You’ll Know I’m Dead.
But in the meantime I’m searching for that Tipping Point,
I’m Riveted with Unlimited Power, stronger than Moby-Dick,
Oh Beloved poets let’s put together Words of Wisdom,
So The Sound and the Fury of our collective voices will click.
Let’s Wake Up and Live, let’s be the Seed of Greatness,
We’ll bleed Blood and Gold like gods of old in a Prophecy,
For As a Man Thinketh he shall become that which he desires,
Because in The Odyssey not everything goes as flawlessly.
This is A Call to Arms you should be Pulling Your Own Strings,
Let’s live life according to our own terms so take The Stand,
Dream Big but you also have to Think Like a Winner,
Awaken the Giant Within because the future is at hand.
First Things First - Stephen R. Covey
Facing Autism - Lynn M. Hamilton
Failing Forward - John C. Maxwell
Master of the Game - Sidney Sheldon
Feeling Good - David D. Burns
The Metamorphoses- Ovid
Burn Brightly Without Burning – Richard Briggs
The Road Ahead – Bill Gate
Life Balance - Richard M. Eyre
The Sky's the Limit – Wayne Dyer
When I Stop Talking, You'll Know I'm Dead -Jerry Weintraub
Tipping Point – Malcom Gladwell
Riveted – Jim Davies
Unlimited Power – Tony Robbins
Moby-Dick – Herman Melville
Beloved – Toni Marrison
Words of Wisdom – Thomas C. Jones3
The Sound and the Fury – William Faulkner
Wake Up and Live – Dorothea Brande
Seed of Greatness – Dennis Waitley
Blood and Gold – Anne Rice
Prophecy – Robert Kiyosaki
As a Man Thinketh – James Allen
The Odyssey - Homer
A Call to Arms – Alan Dean Foster
Pulling Your Own Strings – Wayne Dyer
The Stand – Stephen King
Dream Big – Christiana Correa
Think Like a Winner – Walter Doyle Staples
Awaken the Giant Within – Tony Robbins
Written by wallyroo92
Go To Page
wallyroo92 said:there's a LOT to unpack in this dense write, wallyroo; each line gives pause for thought.
my favourite lines have to be these:
But in the meantime I'm searching for that tipping point
I’m Riveted with Unlimited Power, stronger than Moby-Dick,
Oh Beloved poets let’s put together Words of Wisdom,
So The Sound and the Fury of our collective voices will click.
Let’s Wake Up and Live, let’s be the Seed of Greatness,
We’ll bleed Blood and Gold like gods of old in a Prophecy,
that's a message i can buy into!
my favourite lines have to be these:
But in the meantime I'm searching for that tipping point
I’m Riveted with Unlimited Power, stronger than Moby-Dick,
Oh Beloved poets let’s put together Words of Wisdom,
So The Sound and the Fury of our collective voices will click.
Let’s Wake Up and Live, let’s be the Seed of Greatness,
We’ll bleed Blood and Gold like gods of old in a Prophecy,
that's a message i can buy into!
A Twisted Library
I'd ask that you be mindful where you step as {Visitors}(A1) in my mind.
The truth is I can't save you from what disturbances you my find.
So I give careful warning as a {Preludes}(A2) be mindful where you look and careful of what you seek.
Let us now venture on into the {Filth}(A3) my palms sweaty sticky as {Glue}(A3) as I open the doors for you to take a peek.
My twisted library vast and never full of dust like {The Waste Lands}(A4) for the books have died in here.
Once i would sit and read all day books {Never Ending}(A5) was my thirst for them I never wanted to lay one down getting lost in was was my greatest fear.
Now I rarely give a book a second glance lost in time they seem to fade away.
Now technology has me caught in it's web i still read just no longer from books in this day.
Now i find them all on my screen or listen to them as i drive change it is {The Way Of Life}(A6)
Not to mention my compendium of knowledge now is full of creatures levels and whats the best knife.
Movies games and yes lets not forget blogs and memes steal so much of time once set aside for a book.
My mind ever groin for its perversity and gore seeking ever day for more interactive ideas like a fish on a hook.
Stuck and entranced in my {Misery}(A4) as don my headsets and join in some VR with my friends.
So many changes today is it really freedom they offer or a sort of exile taken like a pill throwing us in to {Insomnia}(A4) with technology's new trends.
Its almost scary will our craving for whats new lead us to our own {Xenocide}(A1)
These days i spend far more hours awake then asleep so many things to keep our interest how dose one decide.
Sleepless nights now provided by binge watching and games wondering through events like {Lost Boys}(A1)
No longer just for kids as the expanding choices today hope to keep us all enthralled in the newest ploys.
This poem took a far different turn then I had expected.
Yet it's no surprise to me that is how my twisted library works on its own and non selected.
(A1) Orsen Scott Card
(A2) T. S. Eliot
(A3) Irvine Welsh
(A4) Stephen King
(A5) Martyn Bedford
(A6) Benjamin Hoff
The truth is I can't save you from what disturbances you my find.
So I give careful warning as a {Preludes}(A2) be mindful where you look and careful of what you seek.
Let us now venture on into the {Filth}(A3) my palms sweaty sticky as {Glue}(A3) as I open the doors for you to take a peek.
My twisted library vast and never full of dust like {The Waste Lands}(A4) for the books have died in here.
Once i would sit and read all day books {Never Ending}(A5) was my thirst for them I never wanted to lay one down getting lost in was was my greatest fear.
Now I rarely give a book a second glance lost in time they seem to fade away.
Now technology has me caught in it's web i still read just no longer from books in this day.
Now i find them all on my screen or listen to them as i drive change it is {The Way Of Life}(A6)
Not to mention my compendium of knowledge now is full of creatures levels and whats the best knife.
Movies games and yes lets not forget blogs and memes steal so much of time once set aside for a book.
My mind ever groin for its perversity and gore seeking ever day for more interactive ideas like a fish on a hook.
Stuck and entranced in my {Misery}(A4) as don my headsets and join in some VR with my friends.
So many changes today is it really freedom they offer or a sort of exile taken like a pill throwing us in to {Insomnia}(A4) with technology's new trends.
Its almost scary will our craving for whats new lead us to our own {Xenocide}(A1)
These days i spend far more hours awake then asleep so many things to keep our interest how dose one decide.
Sleepless nights now provided by binge watching and games wondering through events like {Lost Boys}(A1)
No longer just for kids as the expanding choices today hope to keep us all enthralled in the newest ploys.
This poem took a far different turn then I had expected.
Yet it's no surprise to me that is how my twisted library works on its own and non selected.
(A1) Orsen Scott Card
(A2) T. S. Eliot
(A3) Irvine Welsh
(A4) Stephen King
(A5) Martyn Bedford
(A6) Benjamin Hoff
Written by HowlingHeart
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HowlingHeart said:
enjoyed how you prefaced this write with a friendly warning
like how you walked us through your/narrator's sadly now-neglected stacks of books - how technology has changed how the tales are now read, how reading online is often a more abridged content than the deep dark depths of a fat old tome.
it's a shame, though, that i found your choice of layout a distraction: you credited your titles as requested, thankyou, but adding in those { }'s around each title and author number got in the way of the reading for me. that's just me, though - others may have had no issues with that. i found it kept lifting me out of the poem to acknowledge the title and author number, which spoilt the overall sense of the line. i had to re read it several times with deliberate 'blinkers' on so i could ignore that and just read the words' meanings.
enjoyed how you prefaced this write with a friendly warning
like how you walked us through your/narrator's sadly now-neglected stacks of books - how technology has changed how the tales are now read, how reading online is often a more abridged content than the deep dark depths of a fat old tome.
it's a shame, though, that i found your choice of layout a distraction: you credited your titles as requested, thankyou, but adding in those { }'s around each title and author number got in the way of the reading for me. that's just me, though - others may have had no issues with that. i found it kept lifting me out of the poem to acknowledge the title and author number, which spoilt the overall sense of the line. i had to re read it several times with deliberate 'blinkers' on so i could ignore that and just read the words' meanings.
