Poem of the Month - September 2018

In the shallows
where you and I lay
our legs long to bake
in a warm rain,
the sand holds us - you gasping,
and the ripples cast shapes for the savouring of my eyes
and the souls of us grow unsteady and foolish and merge
for a moment.
In this moment,
there is a stinging, aching, a burrowing,
lust lives carelessly.
I remember home,
the soft singing of her lung
and the heavy sighing of his throat.
I remember them without guilt or fondness
but give them time and room to solidify
before indulging, sinking,
before stroking you again
and losing another part of my mind.
Heady and throbbing,
on a stretched and barren Devon bay, with hands widespread
and a heart beaten as if with a pin
for barbequeing,
you share me, before leaving your body here
to go stale in the Sun.
I will know you, what was shared, I'll call it back when I need to feel -
and always, in the deepness, in the salt water, in a place that's free of judgement I'll know your name.

There becomes an anticipation of the finish line,
unlike the aspirations that drove you in life.
When once you felt whole, you did not realize,
until you are told, that you have little time.

Your dreams of the future becoming a reality
become dramatically obscured into a deformity.
What it does in our thoughts is cruel, and remains,
the biggest of monsters controlling the pain.

A happiness finds a miraculous path
when now you prepare for not coming back.
Relieve me , this bad dream, so eternally sad-
I think of what could be, if only I had.......

more time.

I'm talking to the rain again
And it speaks to me in honest words
Delivered with gentle kindness
Designed to uncloud my judgment
It's here to cleanse this anxious mind
And set free emotions weighing on chest
I feel cold but I also know
That warmth is where it longs to lead me

I often trust its comforting nurture
And seek fresh perspective in its waters
So I pour my heart out all at once
Till it pours down on me with heavy truth
I always hope it falls in sprinkles
In case I'm not ready for the force in which it comes
But "you're your own worst enemy" fell from the sky in drops
And there is no umbrella which shields from that

I tried to run for shelter but darkness came
And quickly blocked every pathway in view
I lost the will to stand, stand up for myself
Then caved to defeat of my undying emotions
Overlapping thoughts an endless tormentor
No escape from intensity of this weather
A body soaked in yesterday's, frozen
Occupying space in the anguish of today

And like the sky
I rain

The ground is shaking, or is it me?
I just lay here helpless to the torrents
And get submerged in the flood, drained
Tomorrow could easily wash away
Eyes close and I have nothing left
Except remnants of hope that touched my face
Leaving stains of contentment upon my skin
To remind me where it's always been

But soon I'll wake to inhale the scent of rain fresh passed
And I will have strength to find light that often calls to me
"You'll be okay" it softly speaks
"But right now it's okay not to be"
Colours of better reflect in rainbows overhead
As I remember that I can move through life at my own pace
It doesn't matter how fast or how long
You gotta feel weak in order to be strong

And I am at my strongest when
I am brave enough to release all that weighs me down
Unafraid to feel sharp blades tear from flesh
Dust that has collected and stuck to my insides
Naked and exposed
With no sight of where to go
Rejuvenating my heart one beat a time
Alongside the rhythm of the rain

 
I give my life's blood to this lady
so she can create
my indigo soul
pours from my mouth
onto paper
and we tango

her thoughts, my essence
formulating words
conjured from the cosmos
she applies slight pressure
then away we go
dancing across the page
I swirl, she dips
her intellect, my tip

sharp as any razor
cutting all truth
separating fact from fiction
when a lie seeks freedom
I give her pause puddling on her paper
until she gives up the goods honestly

I am her life and her mine
more intimate than her husband
is Sir Quill of the order over writers