a long time comin'

for all those times you said I was worthless
convincing me I got what I deserved
finding fault in my emotional makeup
standing me next to
and naming me less than
any other her
for every boot-mark you left on my heart
each thrown-in-my-face affair
every cruel name
every unexpected slap
I’m giving them back
calling your bluff

you weighed against my pain every word you ever said
learned every trick to get inside my head
undermining my grounding with emotional pounding
you lied
simple fact
perhaps recognizing potential
a level of special not meant for you
spirit and strength you couldn’t understand
selfishly coveted but unable to control
without the use of abuse

but for all that you did
every hurt
every scar
(save two)
I forgive you

I wouldn’t have learned the truth of me
or who I could be
if you hadn’t tried so hard to hide it
setting off my mental alarms
stirring my unquenchable curiosity
and I know
I’m more at peace now
than you will ever be

oh, and by the way
that girl you feared might one day appear
the one with fire
who would stand defiant
well, let me introduce you
she’s right here

mg -
I've wasted enough time
questioning myself
and reliving the pain
I don't deserve it
and frankly you've never proven worth it
no more thoughts
no more words
consider this
your final goodbye

Author's Note
Copyright © 2018 FromTheAsh. All Rights Reserved
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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