Poetry competition CLOSED 24th October 2013 2:15am
WINNER
praveengola
praveengola
No 'E' in POEM
"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my fingers upon thee!"
- Jules, Pulp Fiction (Q.Tarantino) <- now see,
that's called 'crediting. we do that when we quote somebody, ..'cos
it is a mark of respect.
granted, that quote would have worked a lot better if Viddax had posted it, but I'm sure you can appreciate the gravity of the situation and maybe take a few minutes to reflect in silent meditation while you gather your thoughts.
I'm sorry for your troubles, you have an unfortunate family
- Jules, Pulp Fiction (Q.Tarantino) <- now see,
that's called 'crediting. we do that when we quote somebody, ..'cos
it is a mark of respect.
granted, that quote would have worked a lot better if Viddax had posted it, but I'm sure you can appreciate the gravity of the situation and maybe take a few minutes to reflect in silent meditation while you gather your thoughts.
I'm sorry for your troubles, you have an unfortunate family
Anonymous said:<< post removed >>
Terrible. A writer may have done it like this;
"Mr Hemi, you sir are a rogue and devil, a cruel and evil man who shares no hint of human kindness. Your cuts are cruel and unjust, pouring hate and distain against myself and my family from behind the screen of anonymity that is the internet. I trust your death will be a slow and painful affair, with much letting of blood and incurable boils upon your testes, until even you most golden lover leaves you in the dirt, far from anything that may be taken for love."
Try it again...try to make me feel it. You may need to use some 'e's.
Terrible. A writer may have done it like this;
"Mr Hemi, you sir are a rogue and devil, a cruel and evil man who shares no hint of human kindness. Your cuts are cruel and unjust, pouring hate and distain against myself and my family from behind the screen of anonymity that is the internet. I trust your death will be a slow and painful affair, with much letting of blood and incurable boils upon your testes, until even you most golden lover leaves you in the dirt, far from anything that may be taken for love."
Try it again...try to make me feel it. You may need to use some 'e's.
Anonymous said:<< post removed >>
Not bad, not bad. Hope you wrote that. I would have done this;
you may think you are a great poet
but you will never be a great man
See how the fewer words carries a heavier effect, and the reference to my ego adds an additional slam to the lines?
Do another one. I think you should reference my drinking and poor relationship skills...to make it more personal, and also we'd know it was written by you, rather than ripped off someone else.
Rhyme would be good too.
Not bad, not bad. Hope you wrote that. I would have done this;
you may think you are a great poet
but you will never be a great man
See how the fewer words carries a heavier effect, and the reference to my ego adds an additional slam to the lines?
Do another one. I think you should reference my drinking and poor relationship skills...to make it more personal, and also we'd know it was written by you, rather than ripped off someone else.
Rhyme would be good too.
Anonymous said:<< post removed >>
Lazy, and probably been done before. Before your entire family dies of cancer, I'd like you to make them proud. Try a different angle, maybe some sort of rhyming slam, or an epically personal attack....perhaps even be inventive; create a Wikipedia page with some of my poetry on it, then claim I ripped the whole lot off there, that kind of thing.
You just need to try harder.
Lazy, and probably been done before. Before your entire family dies of cancer, I'd like you to make them proud. Try a different angle, maybe some sort of rhyming slam, or an epically personal attack....perhaps even be inventive; create a Wikipedia page with some of my poetry on it, then claim I ripped the whole lot off there, that kind of thing.
You just need to try harder.
"creation of a motherfucker
it stinks...ehhhhh"
Mate...I really appreciate you commenting on my work...means a lot to me to have the respect of my peers.
I like the comment so much, I'd appreciate it if you could direct me to where you stole it from, so I can congratulate the actual author.
it stinks...ehhhhh"
Mate...I really appreciate you commenting on my work...means a lot to me to have the respect of my peers.
I like the comment so much, I'd appreciate it if you could direct me to where you stole it from, so I can congratulate the actual author.
hemihead said: Anonymous said:<< post removed >>
See, the problem there is that, to be believable, you should have named the cancer...a lie, well done, hangs on detail.
Have another go at it, and maybe use a little sister or something, for the pity angle. I stand waiting.
Well, I had a chit chat earlier today with Vizard about this topic and the inclusion of cancer. He was told point blank that cancer is no excuse for putting one's name to someone else's work no matter how distraught you are. While I don't wish cancer on his mother or anyone, I will say that if that angle was used as a pity ploy, then I'm the wrong person to have pulled that on, since both myself and my daughter are survivors. So.... Let's hope Vizard's and my PM session had an impact on him and that I don't have to start posting pictures of all my scars to get my point across about how cancer is no fucking joke or something to be "used" in anyway.
See, the problem there is that, to be believable, you should have named the cancer...a lie, well done, hangs on detail.
Have another go at it, and maybe use a little sister or something, for the pity angle. I stand waiting.
Well, I had a chit chat earlier today with Vizard about this topic and the inclusion of cancer. He was told point blank that cancer is no excuse for putting one's name to someone else's work no matter how distraught you are. While I don't wish cancer on his mother or anyone, I will say that if that angle was used as a pity ploy, then I'm the wrong person to have pulled that on, since both myself and my daughter are survivors. So.... Let's hope Vizard's and my PM session had an impact on him and that I don't have to start posting pictures of all my scars to get my point across about how cancer is no fucking joke or something to be "used" in anyway.
