Poetry competition CLOSED 28th October 2013 8:00am
WINNER
summultima (uma)
summultima (uma)
RUNNER-UP:
Atakti
Thunder En Tundra
anna_grin said:camera obscura
through the pinhole
i developed my dream:
she undressed in a dark room
i couldnt see her exposed
she said take a picture it lasts longer
she was right
but she still curled her toes
(not sure if just metaphor)
A welcome, "hey", anna_grin too!
Holey shot! I've never scene such a hot pick!
Please break down your meanings though, to aid the analysis.
Thanks for joining the competition!
through the pinhole
i developed my dream:
she undressed in a dark room
i couldnt see her exposed
she said take a picture it lasts longer
she was right
but she still curled her toes
(not sure if just metaphor)
A welcome, "hey", anna_grin too!
Holey shot! I've never scene such a hot pick!
Please break down your meanings though, to aid the analysis.
Thanks for joining the competition!
anna_grin said:man i dont have no beef
they do surgery for that
stake my life on it
im an unflappable gambler
im not shy
i'll take my cut
You're doing very beautiful, cohesive, elaborate metaphors!
Try to build your multiple meanings from a single clause.
Here's a septuple entendre example:
"I cut her tracks to the promised land."
(drugs, murder, sex, music, geography, finance, severance) ...not dependent upon a single word's multiple meaning.
they do surgery for that
stake my life on it
im an unflappable gambler
im not shy
i'll take my cut
You're doing very beautiful, cohesive, elaborate metaphors!
Try to build your multiple meanings from a single clause.
Here's a septuple entendre example:
"I cut her tracks to the promised land."
(drugs, murder, sex, music, geography, finance, severance) ...not dependent upon a single word's multiple meaning.
arortiz73 said:[quote-235848-anna_grin]camera obscura
through the pinhole (a pinhole camera/ hole poked in a rubber/ needle point? pisshole?
i developed my dream: ( develop like photograph/ elaborate / possibly gettin a hardon if allow
she undressed in a dark room ( like a dark room or a dark room)
i couldnt see her exposed (obscured her lulz / exposure of film again/ nkkd time)
she said take a picture it lasts longer (he stares or waits or)
she was right (JIZZED IN MY PANTS)
but she still curled her toes
(still not sure if just metaphor)
(dissapointed i couldnt work in 'girls on film')
A welcome, "hey", anna_grin too!
Holey shot! I've never scene such a hot pick!
Please break down your meanings though, to aid the analysis.
Thanks for joining the competition![/quote]
through the pinhole (a pinhole camera/ hole poked in a rubber/ needle point? pisshole?
i developed my dream: ( develop like photograph/ elaborate / possibly gettin a hardon if allow
she undressed in a dark room ( like a dark room or a dark room)
i couldnt see her exposed (obscured her lulz / exposure of film again/ nkkd time)
she said take a picture it lasts longer (he stares or waits or)
she was right (JIZZED IN MY PANTS)
but she still curled her toes
(still not sure if just metaphor)
(dissapointed i couldnt work in 'girls on film')
A welcome, "hey", anna_grin too!
Holey shot! I've never scene such a hot pick!
Please break down your meanings though, to aid the analysis.
Thanks for joining the competition![/quote]
Anonymous
this is like advanced physics with a professor that has schizophrenia and a glue sniffing habit, and a text book for neurological statistics...
and that is just way over my poor head....
and that is just way over my poor head....
She lives alone
*The purest cracks live in the powder puffs shes buried in
**Spent her time chasing clouds and sucking tubes
***Concentrated marks pierce her dreams of re-runs, doctors and salt she wished she tasted
Ok I don't know if I did it right but I'm too constipated to try again.
Title- shooting up/ coma / loner
*- wrinkles, make-up, drugs, sexual innuendo, death
**- prison reference, daydreamer, sexual innuendo, crack pipe, hospital tubes
***- slang, needle tracks, regret, sexual innuendo, IV drip, hospital noise
*The purest cracks live in the powder puffs shes buried in
**Spent her time chasing clouds and sucking tubes
***Concentrated marks pierce her dreams of re-runs, doctors and salt she wished she tasted
Ok I don't know if I did it right but I'm too constipated to try again.
Title- shooting up/ coma / loner
*- wrinkles, make-up, drugs, sexual innuendo, death
**- prison reference, daydreamer, sexual innuendo, crack pipe, hospital tubes
***- slang, needle tracks, regret, sexual innuendo, IV drip, hospital noise
A star lies shattered from the impact, Charlie saw to that
a movie star lies (tells, untruths) destroyed by the impact of cocaine
a celestial star is shattered from the impact of another
A lady named A Star star is left in bits after being attacked and thrown from a window by a chap called Charlie
a movie star lies (tells, untruths) destroyed by the impact of cocaine
a celestial star is shattered from the impact of another
A lady named A Star star is left in bits after being attacked and thrown from a window by a chap called Charlie
anna_grin said:man i dont have no beef
they do surgery for that
stake my life on it
im an unflappable gambler
im not shy
i'll take my cut
anna_grin,
You have a quadruple entendre!
"stake my life on it"
Stake: wager; stake: anchor, post; (homophone) steak: slice of meat
Life: existence; life: pursuit, direction; life: organic process
1.) I bet everything. 2.) I serve myself as food. 3.) I martyr myself. 4.) I hold my ground.
Here's the caveat... The entendre must be yours originally to qualify. Otherwise part of this would be a cohesive quadruple-double combo.
they do surgery for that
stake my life on it
im an unflappable gambler
im not shy
i'll take my cut
anna_grin,
You have a quadruple entendre!
"stake my life on it"
Stake: wager; stake: anchor, post; (homophone) steak: slice of meat
Life: existence; life: pursuit, direction; life: organic process
1.) I bet everything. 2.) I serve myself as food. 3.) I martyr myself. 4.) I hold my ground.
Here's the caveat... The entendre must be yours originally to qualify. Otherwise part of this would be a cohesive quadruple-double combo.
DystopianMelody said:She lives alone
*The purest cracks live in the powder puffs shes buried in
**Spent her time chasing clouds and sucking tubes
***Concentrated marks pierce her dreams of re-runs, doctors and salt she wished she tasted
Ok I don't know if I did it right but I'm too constipated to try again.
Title- shooting up/ coma / loner
*- wrinkles, make-up, drugs, sexual innuendo, death
**- prison reference, daydreamer, sexual innuendo, crack pipe, hospital tubes
***- slang, needle tracks, regret, sexual innuendo, IV drip, hospital noise
Dystopian... You nailed it!! Try to keep cohesive clauses though.
This one, "The purest cracks live in the powder puffs shes buried in", is a grand slam+1!
I'll analyze the total points for this later, when I'm not drunk.
Are you sure that you wish to stick with **, and *** as submissions?
*The purest cracks live in the powder puffs shes buried in
**Spent her time chasing clouds and sucking tubes
***Concentrated marks pierce her dreams of re-runs, doctors and salt she wished she tasted
Ok I don't know if I did it right but I'm too constipated to try again.
Title- shooting up/ coma / loner
*- wrinkles, make-up, drugs, sexual innuendo, death
**- prison reference, daydreamer, sexual innuendo, crack pipe, hospital tubes
***- slang, needle tracks, regret, sexual innuendo, IV drip, hospital noise
Dystopian... You nailed it!! Try to keep cohesive clauses though.
This one, "The purest cracks live in the powder puffs shes buried in", is a grand slam+1!
I'll analyze the total points for this later, when I'm not drunk.
Are you sure that you wish to stick with **, and *** as submissions?
