G'day DU you bloody Rippa

Think of this like the Aussie version of Laceyspacey's I like it short comp.
The catch only Aussie slogans and slang

The prize one of anna_grinn's gremlin's, she won't miss it trust me, she has thousands of the fuckers. Don't tell her but I ate a couple the other day.

http://alldownunder.com/australian-slang/dictionary-greetings.htm

Holy dooley Carpe ,What a bonza idea !.
A bit of Aussie Yabber would be ace ,I'll just go grab me esky !.
We can light the bush telly and drink until we Liquid laugh.

Not bad for Pommy bastard!.

Not bad at all me ol mucker

Carpe_Noctem said:Think of this like the Aussie version of Laceyspacey's I like it short comp.
The catch only Aussie slogans and slang

The prize one of anna_grinn's gremlin's, she won't miss it trust me, she has thousands of the fuckers. Don't tell her but I ate a couple the other day.

http://alldownunder.com/australian-slang/dictionary-greetings.htm



You crack me up Carpe!!

Crikey mate, you're a dead man, Carpe
For grilling Anna's gremlins on your barbie...

Carpe, ya cunt.

Can't afford a bottle'o grog.. Centrelink's been fuckin' me 'round, bloody oath. bet your yobbo arse I'm pissed.

Get ya fat arse off the couch and get me to the bottle'o. Gotta nighta heada me.. Gunna fuck me thorough for work.. Christ sake

ah.. Good on ya mate, toohey's the go, none'a that cheap piss. Champion.

No fair, Evan. I say no Aussie's allowed lol :P

Had maccas for dinner
Finished me last tinne
Could you shout us a cone
And a winnie?
I’m out of my own
Bloody rippa mate
Jumped me back fence
Stole all me kippa
Fuck the billy this days been long
I’ll fill up the bucket bong
Yeah your weed smells strong
Tastes just like my own batch
The fuck cunt?
This is my weed that was ganked

Atakti said:No fair, Evan. I say no Aussie's allowed lol :P
The Aussies will have to try extra hard

Evan good to see you picking up the lingo mate, make an aussie out of you yet. My dole goes on weed though mate, mostly

Crikey! Ga day cobber, Have a Captain Cook at the Johnny Hopper outside the Georgie Moore, He's Molly the monk, strueth, septic tanks can't hold their liqueur. hold up, I'm think I'm either away with the pixies, or fifty k's south of woop woop, no dramas, I'll just nick off and crack onto that banana bender with the bluey, she's hard yakka but maybe she'll brown eye me tonight.

G'day sounds like my day

http://www.guy-sports.com/fun_pictures/aussie_gentleman.jpg


WALTZING MATILDA


our unoffical National Anthem

Lyrics byA.B. Paterson



Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong,

A man went camping

Under the shade of a Coolibah tree,

In a shady spot

And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boil,

Waited for his water to boil

You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

Before going to bed with the beautiful Matilda


Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda,

Waltzing Matilda probably means "making love"

You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me,

Australian men are known for their sexual prowess

And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boil

This Matilda gal kept coming and coming and coming

You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

I have booked my Quantas flight

“A Down Under Day with My Mate Jimmy O’Malley”
http://www.gambling911.com/files/imagecache/slide_image/publisher/jail-090512L.jpg
The day started out
like most of the others,
woke up alone
cracking a fat,
imagine that,
another boner.
Crikey, playin’
every morning
with the old fella was
getting rather old,
I was going to have to get bolder,
pick me a good-looker,
a sweet-Sheila,
maybe settle down.
Bur first things first,
it was time for a good brekkie,
I put the billy pot on for a spot,
cracked some eggs for the pan,
when the telephone rang,
of all blokes,
it was O’Malley,

Though, he was such a bogan,
he still managed to pick
up the root rats in droves,
who knows, maybe it
was my lucky day
to find the right one!
I told him my plight,
and he said,
I just needed some fresh air,
maybe a little a walkabout
way out in the outback,
near the big red-rock called Ayers.
I thought to myself,
bloody hell,
that’s beyond the black stump
and I’m as busy as a cat burying shit!
But damn,
I was lonely,
told him without hesitation,
“That’s beaut O’Malley,
I’ll give it a burl!”
He quickly told me his vee dub
was on the mend,
it was broken,
he’d pick me up in the ute,
in about ten.
But he was there in thirty
and off we went,
driving wildly,
heading west into
the wild blue yonder,
to the Springs,
a place called Alice.

Man, O’Malley was a yabber,
couldn’t keep his mouth shut,
he ear-bashed me the whole way,
from politics to the economy,
history to astronomy,
this guy wouldn’t shut up.
He talked shit the whole
way to the trailhead,
where I found a bit of relief.
The white pointers
hanging out there
made me want to stay,
but my mate was
intent on hiking,
so again, off we went,
toward the top.
We weren’t twenty minutes
into the trek,
when I told Jimmy,
“My throat’s drier than a nun’s nasty,
a dead dingo’s donger, I need a coldie!”
He concurred about the desire
for amber fluid,
said he knew a hotel,
a boozer nearby
with a barbie and the best
mystery bags down under!

It was late in the arvo
when we arrived
at the establishment,
walked in sweating bullets.
The joint was
full of sheepshaggers and seppos,
all telling lies,
and watching
aerial ping-pong on the tellie.
It didn’t matter we were thirsty,
ordered six rounds a piece
of the golden elixir,
we guzzled the lot quickly.
Within short order,
we were both drooling spit,
and getting rather full,
we both needed to piss,
chose the dunny outside
to unload our bladders.

But when we got outside,
we were both monkey’s uncles,
hit in the head by the dunny door,
the booze bus was waiting just for us,
the coppers took us straight to jail.
Seems the cane toads had dobbed us in
said we were getting out of hand,
acting drunker than skunks.
Well we both felt shitty,
when we walked by them Queensland blokes,
I told ‘em,
I’d knock their teeth so far down their throats,
they’d have to stick their toothbrushes up their
arses to clean their teeth!
Well, it didn’t do much good,
they just laughed and walked away,
we were the ones who had to pay
the fines for public drunkenness
and indecent exposure,
a thousand Aussie dollars a piece!

So, here I sit,
in the nick
with my ‘ole mate
Jimmy O’Malley,
this time we’re
both in the cactus and
I’m in another tizz
without a Sheila.
But, I know she’ll be apples,
hoo roo.

“Root Rat Blues”
http://data.whicdn.com/images/26341778/drunk-girl-party-words-Favim.com-356105_large.jpg
Went out to the boozer,
hoping to find
a right-Sheila.
Sailing on
schooners of beer,
I got bombed out
instead
and
met a root rat,
drinking lots
of tequila.
She likes bed,
bed and
more bed,
gives brilliant-head,
tons of bangaroo.
Crikey,
my cracked fattie
feels like a kangaroo,
but it’s goodo,
I’d love to stick her
once more
with the old fella
then take her back,
try to lose her.
Hoo roo.

"Crikey! That's a huge croc!" Said an 'Aussie' to another.
"You know, there's a bush telegraph going around that you're a Brit, not an Aussie."
"Well you know what?" said the 'Aussie'
"what is it you Pom?"
"Cark. Just cark." Barked the obvious foreigner.
"Oh wow, where'd ya get that comeback, the internet?" And he walked away.