Fictional Prose Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Short stories and chapters from books and novels
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
Lilliputian
Poem Published
30th Aug 2024 8:53pm
30th Aug 2024 8:53pm
Redneck Hillbilly _ with "Adagio"
We had love and a repossessed single-wide trailer on top of a molehill, formerly a landfill, with wall-to-wall linoleum and a communal outhouse. Our septic tank was boiling over as if ready to roll over where Grandpa was planted in the okra patch. His life revolved around three things, getting food on the table, working and getting drunk. One of his famous sayings was “A fella who ain’t got a job and can’t take care of himself can just go to hell for all I care.”
It was covered by a green froth rising above the town making it impossible to follow the pickleball in flight over...
It was covered by a green froth rising above the town making it impossible to follow the pickleball in flight over...
#collaboration
#funny
#narrative
141 reads
2 Comments
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
29th Aug 2024 10:51am
29th Aug 2024 10:51am
Candyland
One day,you'll find your way.
To a candyland far away.
With cotton candy trees and clouds.
The fun never ends!
With gummy bears and grass.
And chocolate rivers.
Lollipop trees all around.
And there's no speck of actual wood to be found.
The ground is jelly.
With jam spread on like bread.
With cotton candy skies.
And sour candy butterflies.
You will find yourself drooling.
Over the sweets,sugary treats.
You will find yourself tempted ,to indulge in those tasty treats.
You will find yourself...
To a candyland far away.
With cotton candy trees and clouds.
The fun never ends!
With gummy bears and grass.
And chocolate rivers.
Lollipop trees all around.
And there's no speck of actual wood to be found.
The ground is jelly.
With jam spread on like bread.
With cotton candy skies.
And sour candy butterflies.
You will find yourself drooling.
Over the sweets,sugary treats.
You will find yourself tempted ,to indulge in those tasty treats.
You will find yourself...
#dreams
#happiness
#hope
#motivational
#uplifting
92 reads
1 Comment
DampKitten
Poem Published
27th Aug 2024 11:09pm
27th Aug 2024 11:09pm
Dark Thrill at the Capital Grille
#BDSM
#dirty
#lust
#orgasm
#threesome
401 reads
7 Comments
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
26th Aug 2024 10:48am
26th Aug 2024 10:48am
Oh Klahoma
I can see it in your voice.
I can hear it in your eyes.
I can hear it in your actions.
And the eyes you despise.
The pain,I can see it from miles.
And I can hear it in your eyes.
When you cried alone,time flies.
But I can hear it in your eyes.
And I can see it in your smile.
That you are in pain,and been hurt for a while.
Tears are falling down at the party.
Everyone is looking at you.
But they don't see it through your eyes.
Or your mind ,that likes to fly in the skies.
They can't hear through your...
I can hear it in your eyes.
I can hear it in your actions.
And the eyes you despise.
The pain,I can see it from miles.
And I can hear it in your eyes.
When you cried alone,time flies.
But I can hear it in your eyes.
And I can see it in your smile.
That you are in pain,and been hurt for a while.
Tears are falling down at the party.
Everyone is looking at you.
But they don't see it through your eyes.
Or your mind ,that likes to fly in the skies.
They can't hear through your...
#hope
#motivational
#sadness #support
#sadness #support
131 reads
1 Comment
EleazarSwan
Poem Published
26th Aug 2024 7:18am
26th Aug 2024 7:18am
[Villanelle 3] A thought of a thought
V: very well, perchance you fancy one of my riddles
Me: ah, the giggles you slay, thou temptress tame. Name thy riddle and watch me play.
V: a question, dear boy; which father wishes you well?
Me: don’t all fathers wish their sons well?
V: do they? Does the father doctor wish you good health?
Me: surely he does
V: yet the profession of the doctor is ultimately salaried by the blood money of sick people
Me: so the doctor does not wish you health.
V: and the father lawyer, does he wish you success?
Me: surely he does, for he succeeds as society...
Me: ah, the giggles you slay, thou temptress tame. Name thy riddle and watch me play.
V: a question, dear boy; which father wishes you well?
Me: don’t all fathers wish their sons well?
V: do they? Does the father doctor wish you good health?
Me: surely he does
V: yet the profession of the doctor is ultimately salaried by the blood money of sick people
Me: so the doctor does not wish you health.
V: and the father lawyer, does he wish you success?
Me: surely he does, for he succeeds as society...
#villanelle
62 reads
0 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
25th Aug 2024 7:18pm
25th Aug 2024 7:18pm
DUP Mafia Romance part 3
Frank
I need to get one of my best shooters on this case, and the only person who comes to mind is Big Red.
She's done some hits for me in the past. I need to remove some of these players from the roster.
I pulled out my cell phone and dialed her number. She answered on the 1st ring.
“Frank.” She said in a whisper, letting me know she's on a job right now and her sites are on her kill shot.
“Red I need you to come here as soon as possible.”
She did not utter one word, but I heard the audible sound of swisssshhhh from a...
I need to get one of my best shooters on this case, and the only person who comes to mind is Big Red.
She's done some hits for me in the past. I need to remove some of these players from the roster.
I pulled out my cell phone and dialed her number. She answered on the 1st ring.
“Frank.” She said in a whisper, letting me know she's on a job right now and her sites are on her kill shot.
“Red I need you to come here as soon as possible.”
She did not utter one word, but I heard the audible sound of swisssshhhh from a...
#DeepUndergroundPoetry
#dirty
#sex
57 reads
16 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
25th Aug 2024 3:00pm
25th Aug 2024 3:00pm
The Mafia Romance DUP Men
In being fare I needed you to see the Mafia Men characters. lol
#DeepUndergroundPoetry
#funny
55 reads
11 Comments
Roguenarak
Poem Published
25th Aug 2024 2:26pm
25th Aug 2024 2:26pm
Rememberance of the Four, Act One
O, it has been sung five times before
And it shall resonate in the future forever more
But for the Four I will repeat, in the rememberance of their name
Picture a land of beautiful peace, fabled and forgotten
One where sins were so few, and no ill men yet lived
Creatures both bird and serpent, standing on two legs
Praying to violent Gods, terrified of the world beyond
Stood hidden on this continent they called Firavon
There, from dirt came the humans
So innocent and childish
Toiling in the mud in survival
Their segmented hands...
And it shall resonate in the future forever more
But for the Four I will repeat, in the rememberance of their name
Picture a land of beautiful peace, fabled and forgotten
One where sins were so few, and no ill men yet lived
Creatures both bird and serpent, standing on two legs
Praying to violent Gods, terrified of the world beyond
Stood hidden on this continent they called Firavon
There, from dirt came the humans
So innocent and childish
Toiling in the mud in survival
Their segmented hands...
#fiction
#music
52 reads
0 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
24th Aug 2024 7:12pm
24th Aug 2024 7:12pm
Dup Mafia Romance pt 2
I looked at Samantha sitting before me, wondering what we were discussing. She will never know everything about this business, my business.
I don't trust her, and that is the problem here. Kiki came back to the table without drinks.
“Doll, can you just sit here with my friend until I return?” I ordered it in question, but she knew it was not the choice I was making for her.
“Yes, Frank.” She said, looking at me with too much emotion from my comfort. Maybe I put a little too much in that kiss. Ohh, hell, too late now.
“Frank, she doesn't have to say I...
I don't trust her, and that is the problem here. Kiki came back to the table without drinks.
“Doll, can you just sit here with my friend until I return?” I ordered it in question, but she knew it was not the choice I was making for her.
“Yes, Frank.” She said, looking at me with too much emotion from my comfort. Maybe I put a little too much in that kiss. Ohh, hell, too late now.
“Frank, she doesn't have to say I...
#dark
#funny
65 reads
13 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
24th Aug 2024 4:41pm
24th Aug 2024 4:41pm
The Mafia Romance DUP Ladies
I wanted you to see what I am working with. At least in my mind as I write this story.
#DeepUndergroundPoetry
#funny
56 reads
19 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
24th Aug 2024 00:14am
24th Aug 2024 00:14am
Dup Mafia Romance
She walks in as if she's the most expensive liquor bottle in this place.
You know the kind I'm talking about, the top-shelf dark kind. Always chilled.
The minute those legs walked through the door; I knew it was her.
She must have realized that I was staring because she caught my eyes.
Samantha Nashon, is a sight to behold.
Curvy where she's supposed to be curvy and those legs. Legs that went all the way around, letting a man know she was ready for the ride.
The last time Samantha and I had our moment was...
You know the kind I'm talking about, the top-shelf dark kind. Always chilled.
The minute those legs walked through the door; I knew it was her.
She must have realized that I was staring because she caught my eyes.
Samantha Nashon, is a sight to behold.
Curvy where she's supposed to be curvy and those legs. Legs that went all the way around, letting a man know she was ready for the ride.
The last time Samantha and I had our moment was...
#dark
#erotic
#sex
53 reads
10 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
23rd Aug 2024 5:12pm
23rd Aug 2024 5:12pm
First Date
"I'm going on a date tonight."
"Caw! With who?!"
"It's on a need-to-know basis and you don't need to know!"
"Is it serious, Jen?"
"It's just a date, Madeline."
“Awight, awight , don't get yer knickers in a twist! Show me the outfit then.”
"I was thinking of a white shirt and this blue skirt."
“Jenny, how old 'ar ya?”
"What does that have to do with anything?" ...
"Caw! With who?!"
"It's on a need-to-know basis and you don't need to know!"
"Is it serious, Jen?"
"It's just a date, Madeline."
“Awight, awight , don't get yer knickers in a twist! Show me the outfit then.”
"I was thinking of a white shirt and this blue skirt."
“Jenny, how old 'ar ya?”
"What does that have to do with anything?" ...
#DeepUndergroundPoetry
#funny
77 reads
14 Comments
DU Poetry : Fictional Prose Seeking Critique: Short Stories and Chapters from Books and Novels (Page 7)
