Popular Wife Poems

Ladies and Gentlemen
Jurors of the DUP court
Allow me to paint you a picture
It’s a crime of the heart

(Of the heart, he said?)

Yes, you heard me correctly.
For those of you with delicate dispositions
Or have never heard of some positions
Please allow me to finish this crime of hate

(wait, he said heart, now hate)

I know I am making you wait
It's too long, so here it goes.

She found him in the bed with Gwendolyn
Gwendolyn, in her words, is her best friend
They grew up in a time of...

No femme fatale rocks a housecoat as well
as my beloved of thirty-five years,
since with it she bolstered me, truth to tell,
far beyond the phonemes of sonneteers
or any bunny in a magazine
shorn of their drapery mysterium
so notorious at setting the scene
for male gaze fever delirium...

which was always the wealth I truly craved
when often I had surplus love to spend
and she so fervent by that to be laved,
both inside and out, and at either end...

where even becoming fifty-seven
she comes across as a piece of heaven!