Surreal Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
#surreal
missjem56
Poem Published
30th Apr 2024 00:58am
30th Apr 2024 00:58am
Wombatty
The life, and times of a Womblebat
Half Womble, half bat
Underground
Overground
And also the belfry
Womble, large hairy things
Yeti like
Bats, Small skinny things
Mouse like, with wings
How they came to mate
Is currently unknown
But it has been suggested
That a lone wolf Womble
Wandered into a local church
Drank a few bottles of communion wine
Then took a fancy
To a bat
And thus
After an unknown period of time
The first Wombat was born
No further information
Is currently available
All...
Half Womble, half bat
Underground
Overground
And also the belfry
Womble, large hairy things
Yeti like
Bats, Small skinny things
Mouse like, with wings
How they came to mate
Is currently unknown
But it has been suggested
That a lone wolf Womble
Wandered into a local church
Drank a few bottles of communion wine
Then took a fancy
To a bat
And thus
After an unknown period of time
The first Wombat was born
No further information
Is currently available
All...
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
81 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
29th Apr 2024 2:17pm
29th Apr 2024 2:17pm
Wink Wink Wine
Eyelashes
so long
Seagulls could nest on them
Eyelashes
so wide
That dolphins could dive of them
Eyelashes
so thick
That they had the intelligence
To peel a grape, and turn it into wine!
by Jemia
so long
Seagulls could nest on them
Eyelashes
so wide
That dolphins could dive of them
Eyelashes
so thick
That they had the intelligence
To peel a grape, and turn it into wine!
by Jemia
#funny
#satirical
#surreal
90 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
28th Apr 2024 3:48pm
28th Apr 2024 3:48pm
Emma Pavlova
Emma Pavlova
Nearly always
Ran hot, and cold
She was lovely
And not very old
On her 90th birthday
She was given
A basket of fruit
She got fruity with a 70 year old
That she found quite cute
Their romance
Was short lived
As Emma moved to Spain
Her lover meanwhile
Dated a walnut
Somewhat nutty, and declared insane
Emma Pavlove, was always lovely
I delight every time i meet her
Although when i do
I can't resist
The temptation
Of wanting to eat her
She filled both...
Nearly always
Ran hot, and cold
She was lovely
And not very old
On her 90th birthday
She was given
A basket of fruit
She got fruity with a 70 year old
That she found quite cute
Their romance
Was short lived
As Emma moved to Spain
Her lover meanwhile
Dated a walnut
Somewhat nutty, and declared insane
Emma Pavlove, was always lovely
I delight every time i meet her
Although when i do
I can't resist
The temptation
Of wanting to eat her
She filled both...
#food
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#love
#surreal
71 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
27th Apr 2024 4:55pm
27th Apr 2024 4:55pm
The Lady Vanishes
Last night, in a dream
I purchance
Met my perfect partner
It was love at first sight
Yet, after much talking
It seemed as though
We'd been together
Forever
She went to the loos
And didn't return
I was deeply puzzled by this
And wondered if i'd completely misread the situation
I watched the door for a while
Then asked for someone to check if she was okay
But there was no-one there
All the loos were empty
I was obviously further puzzled, as there was no back door
Maybe i'd been lost in some waking dream? ...
I purchance
Met my perfect partner
It was love at first sight
Yet, after much talking
It seemed as though
We'd been together
Forever
She went to the loos
And didn't return
I was deeply puzzled by this
And wondered if i'd completely misread the situation
I watched the door for a while
Then asked for someone to check if she was okay
But there was no-one there
All the loos were empty
I was obviously further puzzled, as there was no back door
Maybe i'd been lost in some waking dream? ...
#ghosts
#ShortStory
#surreal
105 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
21st Apr 2024 11:44pm
21st Apr 2024 11:44pm
Clownish
Tears of a clown
Blood red droplets
Trickle down
On a deathly white face
The smile
Fixed, and somewhat surreal
With a nose
Like one of Santa's reindeer
(without the antlers)
Baggy trousers
Sagging ambitions
The reward sought for
A smile
But sometimes fear
As the smile
Becomes a grimace
A snarl
Accompanied by maniacal laughter
That echoes
As though from the pits of hell
Fearsome, and nightmarish
Then the inevitable scream
I run to escape
Then suddenly realise
That this...
Blood red droplets
Trickle down
On a deathly white face
The smile
Fixed, and somewhat surreal
With a nose
Like one of Santa's reindeer
(without the antlers)
Baggy trousers
Sagging ambitions
The reward sought for
A smile
But sometimes fear
As the smile
Becomes a grimace
A snarl
Accompanied by maniacal laughter
That echoes
As though from the pits of hell
Fearsome, and nightmarish
Then the inevitable scream
I run to escape
Then suddenly realise
That this...
#fear
#funny
#surreal
68 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
16th Apr 2024 4:15pm
16th Apr 2024 4:15pm
Obliqua Eureka!
I once heard
Don't think me absurd
That Archimedes
Was once propositioned
When he was offered
In any position
A screw
Apparently
It was not only his water levels
That rose on that day
With much of a todo!
by Jemia
Don't think me absurd
That Archimedes
Was once propositioned
When he was offered
In any position
A screw
Apparently
It was not only his water levels
That rose on that day
With much of a todo!
by Jemia
#parody
#satirical
#funny
#historical
#surreal
70 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
16th Apr 2024 00:27am
16th Apr 2024 00:27am
Bamoon!
There once was an old man
of the moon
Who behaved as a bit
of a loon
One day
when full
He'd give a
werewolf call
But sounded more like
a baboon!
by Jemia
of the moon
Who behaved as a bit
of a loon
One day
when full
He'd give a
werewolf call
But sounded more like
a baboon!
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny #surreal
#funny #surreal
95 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
28th Mar 2024 12:59pm
28th Mar 2024 12:59pm
Triple Twenty
No-one knew
Or possibly didn't care
Or wonder
Why this particular dragonfly
Had no tail, or much body
And that's why
It had no control
On how it could fly
Oft seen
Crashing into trees, hedges,
And other dragonflies
Who often mistook this dragonfly
As a helicopter seed
As it crashed chaotically to the ground
This was not good for the dragonflies' morale
He soon took to wearing
A false torso
Which kind of gave him better balance
And in time
Was able to fly again
Although he came to a tragic end ...
Or possibly didn't care
Or wonder
Why this particular dragonfly
Had no tail, or much body
And that's why
It had no control
On how it could fly
Oft seen
Crashing into trees, hedges,
And other dragonflies
Who often mistook this dragonfly
As a helicopter seed
As it crashed chaotically to the ground
This was not good for the dragonflies' morale
He soon took to wearing
A false torso
Which kind of gave him better balance
And in time
Was able to fly again
Although he came to a tragic end ...
#nature
#funny
#surreal
91 reads
1 Comment
Kii_Ahn
Poem Published
27th Mar 2024 3:56pm
27th Mar 2024 3:56pm
DEER
He was walking ever so
carefully down the winding
road
The most alluring of milky scents
wafted through the crisp
air
A blue roaring beast slowed
to a full stop with light brighter than
day
Now he could only smell
the rough choke of
diesel
He didn't even bother to
leap away as he was
disappointed
There was no collision and
he'd rather die than lose scent of
rose-milk
carefully down the winding
road
The most alluring of milky scents
wafted through the crisp
air
A blue roaring beast slowed
to a full stop with light brighter than
day
Now he could only smell
the rough choke of
diesel
He didn't even bother to
leap away as he was
disappointed
There was no collision and
he'd rather die than lose scent of
rose-milk
#LookingForLove
#MentalHealth
#surreal
274 reads
13 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
26th Mar 2024 1:21am
26th Mar 2024 1:21am
A Fishy Limerick
There once was a lady of
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny #surreal
#funny #surreal
91 reads
1 Comment
Kinkwizard_95
Poem Published
24th Mar 2024 1:17am
24th Mar 2024 1:17am
The Medium Sized Spoon
Spoons come in all shapes and sizes
But you’ll never guess which size mine is
We looked for medium but they were rare
You might think that we don’t care
How mistaken you may be
We label ours A.. B.. C
It seems that only you have two
What can we say, shame on you
If you would like to rearrange your drawer
Pay a visit to the nearest store
There’s local places, there aplenty
5.. 10.. 15.. maybe 20
Ripon, Richmond, there are more
Or await Spoon Salesmen at your door
~ Yorkshire Medium Sized...
But you’ll never guess which size mine is
We looked for medium but they were rare
You might think that we don’t care
How mistaken you may be
We label ours A.. B.. C
It seems that only you have two
What can we say, shame on you
If you would like to rearrange your drawer
Pay a visit to the nearest store
There’s local places, there aplenty
5.. 10.. 15.. maybe 20
Ripon, Richmond, there are more
Or await Spoon Salesmen at your door
~ Yorkshire Medium Sized...
#satirical
#surreal
136 reads
3 Comments
Kinkwizard_95
Poem Published
22nd Mar 2024 11:23pm
22nd Mar 2024 11:23pm
Dr Feral
#sex
#funny
#myself
#dirty
#surreal
196 reads
3 Comments
DU Poetry : Surreal Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
