Surreal Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
#surreal
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Mar 2025 11:59pm
22nd Mar 2025 11:59pm
Lucky Lucy!
It appeared to be an ordinary
Very cute maturing kitten
Everyone that saw it
Were instantly smitten
What no-one realised
The secret behind this pet
That hadn't been diagnosed yet
This puss, had been born a pup
Part shihtzu, part bulldog
The complicated op was worth
As she was able to give birth
After first canging her name
From Lucky to Lucy
Which looked nearly the same
She was at last fully feline
Later giving birth
To four pupkits (for what it's worth!)
Part Bulldog
Part Shihtzu
Part Cat ...
Very cute maturing kitten
Everyone that saw it
Were instantly smitten
What no-one realised
The secret behind this pet
That hadn't been diagnosed yet
This puss, had been born a pup
Part shihtzu, part bulldog
The complicated op was worth
As she was able to give birth
After first canging her name
From Lucky to Lucy
Which looked nearly the same
She was at last fully feline
Later giving birth
To four pupkits (for what it's worth!)
Part Bulldog
Part Shihtzu
Part Cat ...
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
47 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
20th Mar 2025 5:51pm
20th Mar 2025 5:51pm
Going Apeshit!
Archaic arcadian ancestors
Dwelt within their arcady
(This whilst in the OED
on Archimedes Screw!)
I also found Arcane
A secret known to a few
Accidentally rediscovered
In London Zoo
Within the monkey cage
Where-in was placed
Darwins loo!
by Jemia
Dwelt within their arcady
(This whilst in the OED
on Archimedes Screw!)
I also found Arcane
A secret known to a few
Accidentally rediscovered
In London Zoo
Within the monkey cage
Where-in was placed
Darwins loo!
by Jemia
#funny
#philosophical
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
53 reads
0 Comments
goldenmyst
Poem Published
10th Mar 2025 1:01am
10th Mar 2025 1:01am
Masquerade Ball at Mardi Gras
Masquerade Ball at Mardi Gras
Mr. Baumgartner was an older man with a receding hairline, light complexion, and a thin black mustache like Hitler’s. He was a predator with pale blue eagle eyes. Mr. Baumgartner said, half-jokingly, that if he hadn’t been a writer he would have been president or a messiah.
Mr. Baumgartner stood in the large room that took up the whole side of the house facing the street. He looked at the print of the Mona Lisa, Da Vinci’s perfect woman. Then he looked at his wife and sighed.
His wife had grey hair, wore glasses with coke bottle...
Mr. Baumgartner was an older man with a receding hairline, light complexion, and a thin black mustache like Hitler’s. He was a predator with pale blue eagle eyes. Mr. Baumgartner said, half-jokingly, that if he hadn’t been a writer he would have been president or a messiah.
Mr. Baumgartner stood in the large room that took up the whole side of the house facing the street. He looked at the print of the Mona Lisa, Da Vinci’s perfect woman. Then he looked at his wife and sighed.
His wife had grey hair, wore glasses with coke bottle...
#alcohol
#crush
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#surreal
75 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Mar 2025 2:00am
4th Mar 2025 2:00am
A Letter From An Elf
"How come
You write about
Fairies, pixies, witches
Dragons, mermaids etc.?"
".What is wrong
With us elves?"
"Are you elfist?"
Signed
Alf the elf...
"Dear ELF, named Alf"
"I'm so sorry you feel
LEFt on the shELF
I blame it on mysELF
Due to poor ELF
And little wELF!
I will endeavour
In future
To be less sELFish
And more ELFish!"
by Jemia
You write about
Fairies, pixies, witches
Dragons, mermaids etc.?"
".What is wrong
With us elves?"
"Are you elfist?"
Signed
Alf the elf...
"Dear ELF, named Alf"
"I'm so sorry you feel
LEFt on the shELF
I blame it on mysELF
Due to poor ELF
And little wELF!
I will endeavour
In future
To be less sELFish
And more ELFish!"
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody #surreal
#parody #surreal
62 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
2nd Mar 2025 4:52pm
2nd Mar 2025 4:52pm
Hops!
Into the woods
Where lay
Folk of another kind of ethereal
Who every morning
Had cornflakes
As their cereal
Although some would forage
Opting instead
For frogs legs porridge!
by Jemia
Where lay
Folk of another kind of ethereal
Who every morning
Had cornflakes
As their cereal
Although some would forage
Opting instead
For frogs legs porridge!
by Jemia
#food
#funny
#magic #surreal
#magic #surreal
57 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
1st Mar 2025 1:46am
1st Mar 2025 1:46am
Mirrors
I went along to join a new group recently
I may of misread the details though
What i thought was a writing group of sorts
As about a dozen of us turned up
Some looked a bit long in the tooth
And a bit pale, and actually quite goth-like
So i thought okay, i'm here now,
So decided to go along for the ride
They soon started talking about bats
Which sounded quite interesting
Especially about bats in the attic
And how 8uncomfortable they found it
I thought they were concerned at their plight
But it turned out i was seriously wrong...
I may of misread the details though
What i thought was a writing group of sorts
As about a dozen of us turned up
Some looked a bit long in the tooth
And a bit pale, and actually quite goth-like
So i thought okay, i'm here now,
So decided to go along for the ride
They soon started talking about bats
Which sounded quite interesting
Especially about bats in the attic
And how 8uncomfortable they found it
I thought they were concerned at their plight
But it turned out i was seriously wrong...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
#surreal
#vampires
50 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
27th Feb 2025 9:43pm
27th Feb 2025 9:43pm
Catastrophic Catachresis Of A Crisis Of Identity!
I always
Identified as a cat
It was clearly obvious
That i wasn't born a cat
As i didn't spend my day
Sleeping, screwing, or licking my bum!
But i did enjoy exploring
As my curiosity
Knew no bounds
Forever seeking new experiences
Until
One fine moonlit night
I met a cat
Born a cat
We got intimate
And i got arrested
For beastiality!
by Jemia
Identified as a cat
It was clearly obvious
That i wasn't born a cat
As i didn't spend my day
Sleeping, screwing, or licking my bum!
But i did enjoy exploring
As my curiosity
Knew no bounds
Forever seeking new experiences
Until
One fine moonlit night
I met a cat
Born a cat
We got intimate
And i got arrested
For beastiality!
by Jemia
#cats
#identity
#parody
#satirical
#surreal
78 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
23rd Feb 2025 7:14pm
23rd Feb 2025 7:14pm
Like Bertha Mason
I now sometimes see you
Dear across the big pond dwelling cousins
As the sort of cousin
One may well
Keep locked away
In a secret room
And that you never
Under any circumstances
Speak of!
But yet
The reverse could easily apply
Trump, Truss true....!
by Jemia
Dear across the big pond dwelling cousins
As the sort of cousin
One may well
Keep locked away
In a secret room
And that you never
Under any circumstances
Speak of!
But yet
The reverse could easily apply
Trump, Truss true....!
by Jemia
#friendship
#LifeAsAWriter
#politics
#satirical
#surreal
58 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
11th Feb 2025 3:28pm
11th Feb 2025 3:28pm
Scarlet Butterflies
The sun shines blue
Over purple yellow skies
As jaded streams
Run far, and deep
As nature wears another disguise
For hidden amongst the black foxgloves
Over fields of lavendar orange
Fly scarlet butterflies
Soaring through the misty haze
Where exist my dreams
Where nothing quite seems
As it seems
That's the thing
About scarlet butterfly dreams
by Jemia
Over purple yellow skies
As jaded streams
Run far, and deep
As nature wears another disguise
For hidden amongst the black foxgloves
Over fields of lavendar orange
Fly scarlet butterflies
Soaring through the misty haze
Where exist my dreams
Where nothing quite seems
As it seems
That's the thing
About scarlet butterfly dreams
by Jemia
#beauty
#butterfly
#dreams #surreal
#dreams #surreal
85 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
5th Feb 2025 2:30pm
5th Feb 2025 2:30pm
Stumped
I was going to write a poem about Donald Trump
Someone i'd like to thump
But would rather have a dump
But not as plump
As that fat lump
I wish he'd take a flying jump
And hit the earth with a massive bump
As all his lies are soon gazumped
That chump Trump stumped
by Jemia
Someone i'd like to thump
But would rather have a dump
But not as plump
As that fat lump
I wish he'd take a flying jump
And hit the earth with a massive bump
As all his lies are soon gazumped
That chump Trump stumped
by Jemia
#corruption
#HumanRights
#nightmares
#politics
#surreal
82 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
29th Jan 2025 1:17am
29th Jan 2025 1:17am
That They're There
Me, and my ears
Have 'special' relationship
In as much, as weve agreed
That i don't look at them
And likewise
They've agreed
Not to look at me!
They justb lurk there
Beneath my hair
So i'm left knowing
That they're there
Always
Listening to my every word!
Not only walls have ears
So do heads!
by Jemia
Have 'special' relationship
In as much, as weve agreed
That i don't look at them
And likewise
They've agreed
Not to look at me!
They justb lurk there
Beneath my hair
So i'm left knowing
That they're there
Always
Listening to my every word!
Not only walls have ears
So do heads!
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
73 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Jan 2025 8:57pm
22nd Jan 2025 8:57pm
Malicia McFee
Poor Malicia McFee
She drowned in bed, in solitary
A series of serious
Hot water bottle bursts
Caused Malicia to utter
A quite quiet silent curse
As a deluge of tepid water
Engulfed her in her sleep
She drowned quietly
Like an old ship
The rubber had proffered warmth
But no buoyancy
The quilt that had kept her safe
Now drowned her, beneath this tepid wave
Her lover had found her looking deflated
Although her lover, thought her much over-rated
He returned Malicia, to the town of her birth
Along with an unpaid...
She drowned in bed, in solitary
A series of serious
Hot water bottle bursts
Caused Malicia to utter
A quite quiet silent curse
As a deluge of tepid water
Engulfed her in her sleep
She drowned quietly
Like an old ship
The rubber had proffered warmth
But no buoyancy
The quilt that had kept her safe
Now drowned her, beneath this tepid wave
Her lover had found her looking deflated
Although her lover, thought her much over-rated
He returned Malicia, to the town of her birth
Along with an unpaid...
#funny
#satirical
#surreal
40 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Surreal Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
