Surreal Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
#surreal
missjem56
Poem Published
Yesterday 2:45am
Yesterday 2:45am
Time For The Goblet Of Honey
There's a toilet roll
By my shoulder
Tis true
But not there
For the loo
But a random aitchoo
It's currently looped
Over the stem
Of a bottle
Of balsamic vinegar
Which is half sticking
Out of a drawer
Of a bookcase
With no books
After this write
And read
You too
May fancy mead!
by Jemia
By my shoulder
Tis true
But not there
For the loo
But a random aitchoo
It's currently looped
Over the stem
Of a bottle
Of balsamic vinegar
Which is half sticking
Out of a drawer
Of a bookcase
With no books
After this write
And read
You too
May fancy mead!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical
#satirical
#surreal
21 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
15th Dec 2024 3:16am
15th Dec 2024 3:16am
Night Of The Living Wobble!
It was once said
That Weevils wobble
But they don't fall down
I used to be a Weevil
Now i'm just a wobble
"Remember you're a wobble
Like a womble
Only different....
by Jemia
That Weevils wobble
But they don't fall down
I used to be a Weevil
Now i'm just a wobble
"Remember you're a wobble
Like a womble
Only different....
by Jemia
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
#surreal
43 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Dec 2024 2:56pm
4th Dec 2024 2:56pm
A Marriage
I had seen its pulsating glow
From down here, on the earth below
Its light had disturbed my sleep
Beneath it's slow stagnant creep
In desperation, and despair
I gained no sleep, under the moon all aglare
So i grabbed my bow, and held it true
As i shot my golden arrow to the moon
It sat like a lantern shadowed raven
Amongst the night skies there engraven
My arrow meanwhile, continued its mission
For i captured the moon, in my vision
The moon got angry, it turned a blood red
As it stood there scowling, above my...
From down here, on the earth below
Its light had disturbed my sleep
Beneath it's slow stagnant creep
In desperation, and despair
I gained no sleep, under the moon all aglare
So i grabbed my bow, and held it true
As i shot my golden arrow to the moon
It sat like a lantern shadowed raven
Amongst the night skies there engraven
My arrow meanwhile, continued its mission
For i captured the moon, in my vision
The moon got angry, it turned a blood red
As it stood there scowling, above my...
#magic
#moon
#surreal
46 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
3rd Dec 2024 11:36pm
3rd Dec 2024 11:36pm
Multi Story Far Lark, Scrambled!
I am many things
I can multi task
At the drop of a pin
Not only pick up the proverbial pin
But scold the careless person
Who dropped the pin that didn't actually exist!
Dropping pins willy-nilly
I can write stuff, and do art
I can dance, like a bakewell tart
I can work as a team
Useful perhaps in a menage a troix!
I can paint the entirety of a house
And plant a myriad trees
Dance like a butterfly
A bit nervous around bees
I am the missing spoke
Of a bicycle wheel
Useful to be, if this was for real
I am...
I can multi task
At the drop of a pin
Not only pick up the proverbial pin
But scold the careless person
Who dropped the pin that didn't actually exist!
Dropping pins willy-nilly
I can write stuff, and do art
I can dance, like a bakewell tart
I can work as a team
Useful perhaps in a menage a troix!
I can paint the entirety of a house
And plant a myriad trees
Dance like a butterfly
A bit nervous around bees
I am the missing spoke
Of a bicycle wheel
Useful to be, if this was for real
I am...
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
52 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
1st Dec 2024 00:13am
1st Dec 2024 00:13am
Trans Reindeers With The Hump
Tis now the eve of december
A time to remember
NOT to watch tv
Avoid christmas ads, and emails
If anyone brings christmas into any conversation
Grunt audibly, then say "bah humbug!"
Then wander off, grumbling incoherently
Ironic that the first santa
Came to us from 11th century Turkey
Sounds like he was hatched!
Turkey, and santa, are you kidding me?
When santa lived in Turkey, he had no reindeer
And managed without for over 600 hundred years
Perhaps he used camels instead
Imagine six camels soaring into the night...
A time to remember
NOT to watch tv
Avoid christmas ads, and emails
If anyone brings christmas into any conversation
Grunt audibly, then say "bah humbug!"
Then wander off, grumbling incoherently
Ironic that the first santa
Came to us from 11th century Turkey
Sounds like he was hatched!
Turkey, and santa, are you kidding me?
When santa lived in Turkey, he had no reindeer
And managed without for over 600 hundred years
Perhaps he used camels instead
Imagine six camels soaring into the night...
#Christmas
#funny
#parody
#satirical
#surreal
41 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
29th Nov 2024 2:07am
29th Nov 2024 2:07am
A Bit Of A Tall Story
Whilst at the supermarket
Just the other day
I purchased some super king sized eggs
For omelettes, in disarray
Unfortunately
When i cracked open the shell
A baby pterodactyl popped out, well
Perhaps
I could try a pterodactyl curry too
(Well i am 10%, chicken vindaloo!)
Or pterodactyl risotto would be nice
But i then looked into it's pleading
Yet quite scary eyes
And glad it couldn't yet fly
As i'd clipped it's wings, on the sly
And not wanting to appear rude
I decided to conjure it some food
Funnily enough, i...
Just the other day
I purchased some super king sized eggs
For omelettes, in disarray
Unfortunately
When i cracked open the shell
A baby pterodactyl popped out, well
Perhaps
I could try a pterodactyl curry too
(Well i am 10%, chicken vindaloo!)
Or pterodactyl risotto would be nice
But i then looked into it's pleading
Yet quite scary eyes
And glad it couldn't yet fly
As i'd clipped it's wings, on the sly
And not wanting to appear rude
I decided to conjure it some food
Funnily enough, i...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
38 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Nov 2024 2:38pm
22nd Nov 2024 2:38pm
Preferring The Horn
The pauper porpoise poet
Was a very poor porpoise indeed
As she spent all of her lobster money
On copious ammounts of mead
She read her poems at open mics
But her words were all at sea
Apart from one fine night, she got it right
And flipped her flippers with glee!
Some thought she was a dolphin
Which would really piss her off
And one even called her "Flipper"
She told him to foff!
Yet she found him quite attractive
He was a swordfish, well endowed
And when she saw how 'sharp' he was
Their marriage was avowed ...
Was a very poor porpoise indeed
As she spent all of her lobster money
On copious ammounts of mead
She read her poems at open mics
But her words were all at sea
Apart from one fine night, she got it right
And flipped her flippers with glee!
Some thought she was a dolphin
Which would really piss her off
And one even called her "Flipper"
She told him to foff!
Yet she found him quite attractive
He was a swordfish, well endowed
And when she saw how 'sharp' he was
Their marriage was avowed ...
#betrayal
#fish
#funny
#satirical
#surreal
42 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
16th Nov 2024 2:55pm
16th Nov 2024 2:55pm
Very Close Encounters!
I was once propositioned by an alien
She was purple from head, to toe
I knew this, as i think she was naked
That's why i think she was a female of the species
Also, she had very long eyelashes, on all three eyes
How i ended up in the company of aliens
I can't quite fully remember
I was merely walking down a long, and lonely
Dark country lane in the early hours
Earlier that evening
I'd spotted something unnerving
In my local take-away
I was so horrified, i fled from the take-away
At the sight of some UFO'S...
She was purple from head, to toe
I knew this, as i think she was naked
That's why i think she was a female of the species
Also, she had very long eyelashes, on all three eyes
How i ended up in the company of aliens
I can't quite fully remember
I was merely walking down a long, and lonely
Dark country lane in the early hours
Earlier that evening
I'd spotted something unnerving
In my local take-away
I was so horrified, i fled from the take-away
At the sight of some UFO'S...
#aliens
#funny
#sex #surreal
#sex #surreal
61 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
11th Nov 2024 10:53pm
11th Nov 2024 10:53pm
The Inbetween World
They weren't exactly Fairies
Nor were they precisely Butterflies
They existed in this Middle World
Where they were a bit of both
Not unlike the Pixie Dragonflies
Although, most flowers were the same in both worlds
Only their colours were different
Buttercups thus, were Yellow, and Red
And Evergreens' leaves were ever Green, and Blue
Although curiously,
Bluebells were Blue in our world, and human world
The Sun, was both Gold, and Turquoise
And the Moon Silver, and Verdigris
Undulating grassland of Green, and Orange
Swept...
Nor were they precisely Butterflies
They existed in this Middle World
Where they were a bit of both
Not unlike the Pixie Dragonflies
Although, most flowers were the same in both worlds
Only their colours were different
Buttercups thus, were Yellow, and Red
And Evergreens' leaves were ever Green, and Blue
Although curiously,
Bluebells were Blue in our world, and human world
The Sun, was both Gold, and Turquoise
And the Moon Silver, and Verdigris
Undulating grassland of Green, and Orange
Swept...
#fairies
#LifeAsAWriter
#LifeCycle
#SelfDiscovery
#surreal
52 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Nov 2024 3:59pm
7th Nov 2024 3:59pm
Fairy Dust
Lost in thought
As i traverse, the universe
Exploring worm holes
Deep space and curious portals
To other worlds
I then venture through the deep dark mists
Of the ethereal
Encountering entities
O another nature
Full of magic, and mystery
These beings wove tapestries
Within rainbows
That were then hung
Onto groaning boughs
Off low hanging trees
More was revealed,
As the mists began to dissipate
I became further aware
Of the strange nature
As a golden light
Trespassed through the trees
As a...
As i traverse, the universe
Exploring worm holes
Deep space and curious portals
To other worlds
I then venture through the deep dark mists
Of the ethereal
Encountering entities
O another nature
Full of magic, and mystery
These beings wove tapestries
Within rainbows
That were then hung
Onto groaning boughs
Off low hanging trees
More was revealed,
As the mists began to dissipate
I became further aware
Of the strange nature
As a golden light
Trespassed through the trees
As a...
#dreams
#fairies
#nature #surreal
#nature #surreal
48 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
2nd Nov 2024 00:34am
2nd Nov 2024 00:34am
Talking Pigeon
I went to see my doctor
she said "how are your stools?"
"Very comfy thanks!"
"Although, one has a strange colour
in the padding"
She looked at me aghast, and appalled
I
Still misinterpretting her meaning
And puzzled at her reaction
Said
"I also have a three legged one for milking
not that i use it , as i don't have a cow!"
She asked me what on earth i was talking about
As she had never heard of a three legged cow
I said "no no no no no!"
"It's my stools with the...
she said "how are your stools?"
"Very comfy thanks!"
"Although, one has a strange colour
in the padding"
She looked at me aghast, and appalled
I
Still misinterpretting her meaning
And puzzled at her reaction
Said
"I also have a three legged one for milking
not that i use it , as i don't have a cow!"
She asked me what on earth i was talking about
As she had never heard of a three legged cow
I said "no no no no no!"
"It's my stools with the...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
39 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
29th Oct 2024 2:37pm
29th Oct 2024 2:37pm
Surreal Nights
Thoughts
wander
wildly
Impossibly
plausible
Lost
within
nightmares
by Jemia
wander
wildly
Impossibly
plausible
Lost
within
nightmares
by Jemia
#dreams
#LifeAsAWriter
#nightmares #surreal
#nightmares #surreal
45 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Surreal Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
