Limerick Poems
#limerick
Limerick poems, humorous and cheeky five line verses with a strict AABBA rhyme scheme. The first, second and fifth line rhyme, while the third and fourth lines are shorter and share a different rhyme. A limerick is a folk poetry form popular in the 19th century, typically naughty or obscene, and setting out to violate taboos.
A Fishy Limerick
There once was a lady of
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny #surreal
#funny #surreal
17 reads
0 Comments
A Not So Pleasant Experience
When a carnival comes to town
Cotton candy, makeup for the clowns
Don’t eat before a ride
Puking, people should hide
Always drink plenty of water.
Cotton candy, makeup for the clowns
Don’t eat before a ride
Puking, people should hide
Always drink plenty of water.
#limerick
51 reads
8 Comments
In A Pickle
There once was a man Mcfuddle
Who got himself into a muddle
He made himself a jerkin
Out of an out of date gherkin
And got in a bit of a pickle
by Jemia
Who got himself into a muddle
He made himself a jerkin
Out of an out of date gherkin
And got in a bit of a pickle
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny
48 reads
1 Comment
Reindeer Game
#holiday
#limerick
118 reads
4 Comments
Horny Mother-to-Be
I’m one horny mother-to-be
It’s nothing that I could foresee
Men say that I glow
But all that I know is
My tits are now something to see
It’s nothing that I could foresee
Men say that I glow
But all that I know is
My tits are now something to see
#lust
#limerick
#pregnancy
196 reads
6 Comments
Limericks
My physicist father once said
" uranium decays down to lead "
but that " the gleam in his eye
decayed down to..." I?
I think Pa's Ma and Pa weren't wed.
Now, let us be abundantly clear
about black-holes, we must not go near,
they'd suck us right in
smear us very, very, thin
then spew us out of their rears...
There was a black hole out far
who swallowed a neighbouring star,
" hmmm, tasty" it quipped
and licking its lips,
rolled off to the nearest bar.
...
" uranium decays down to lead "
but that " the gleam in his eye
decayed down to..." I?
I think Pa's Ma and Pa weren't wed.
Now, let us be abundantly clear
about black-holes, we must not go near,
they'd suck us right in
smear us very, very, thin
then spew us out of their rears...
There was a black hole out far
who swallowed a neighbouring star,
" hmmm, tasty" it quipped
and licking its lips,
rolled off to the nearest bar.
...
#limerick
60 reads
0 Comments
Disclaimer: these Dirty Limericks are for a competition and are not representative of my work.
There was a young Beau from limerick
who had an unfeasibly large dick,
as he enters his Belle
the whole town heard her yell
"You're in the wrong hole, you fuck-wit! "
Now, this young man from limerick
(the one with the unfeasibly large dick)
well, his balls would clang
when he shagged his Mam
and that was their party trick.
That lusty lad from old limerick
thought he'd try...
who had an unfeasibly large dick,
as he enters his Belle
the whole town heard her yell
"You're in the wrong hole, you fuck-wit! "
Now, this young man from limerick
(the one with the unfeasibly large dick)
well, his balls would clang
when he shagged his Mam
and that was their party trick.
That lusty lad from old limerick
thought he'd try...
#porn
#limerick
#dirty
256 reads
0 Comments
Sean, Not Unshorn (Limerick)
There once was a young man
named Sean
Who once slept
from dusk, to dawn
He had had
lots of fun
With Sambuka,
and rum
And met someone
that gave him the horn!!
by Jemia
named Sean
Who once slept
from dusk, to dawn
He had had
lots of fun
With Sambuka,
and rum
And met someone
that gave him the horn!!
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
73 reads
0 Comments
Bareback!
#BDSM
#limerick
#funny
204 reads
2 Comments
Something Surely Afoot?
There once was an Abominable Snowman from Brighton
Its tourists it tried to enlighten
It got covered in confetti
Then mistaken for a Yeti
Its Big Foot is the thing that did frighten!
by Jemia
Its tourists it tried to enlighten
It got covered in confetti
Then mistaken for a Yeti
Its Big Foot is the thing that did frighten!
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
#mythology #surreal
#mythology #surreal
66 reads
1 Comment
No Balls
There once was a lady of the old town
Her bar billiards, caused many to frown
She kept hitting the sticks
No points did she nick
As she had no balls to put down
by Jemia
Her bar billiards, caused many to frown
She kept hitting the sticks
No points did she nick
As she had no balls to put down
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
91 reads
1 Comment
Her Name Happens To Be Lucy Figg
Her name happens to be Lucy Figg
who hopes to land a job in some big
time company somewhere
but they all would not care
because who wants to hire this one pig.
who hopes to land a job in some big
time company somewhere
but they all would not care
because who wants to hire this one pig.
#animals
#fiction
#limerick
#acceptance
#culture
110 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Limerick Poems