Limerick Poems
#limerick
Limerick poems, humorous and cheeky five line verses with a strict AABBA rhyme scheme. The first, second and fifth line rhyme, while the third and fourth lines are shorter and share a different rhyme. A limerick is a folk poetry form popular in the 19th century, typically naughty or obscene, and setting out to violate taboos.
LostViking
Lost Viking
Lost Viking
Poem Published
28th Apr 2025 1:00pm
28th Apr 2025 1:00pm
In The Arms of a Lover
In the arms of a lover who’s hot,
You embrace all she is and is not.
Her past and her nows,
Her spirit’s young vows,
Just be sure that you fuck her a lot.
You embrace all she is and is not.
Her past and her nows,
Her spirit’s young vows,
Just be sure that you fuck her a lot.
#identity
#limerick
#sex
135 reads
0 Comments
Wafflenose
Ellie
Ellie
Poem Published
20th Apr 2025 10:32pm
20th Apr 2025 10:32pm
An additional puzzle
Take a cubed number 'tween one and nine,
then cube THAT one... go on, you'll be fine!
Subtract this: (four times seven),
÷ by two, then eleven;
write your total down, then put this sign: ÷
For the next part, we'll start with a four.
Find its square root, then add on one more.
Cube your total; take two;
add both digits, then you
have the next part of what is in store!
I'm sorry if this has been tough—
we don't do much maths off-the-cuff!
Just put LARGE over SMALL
(it's division, that's all!);
first four digits...
then cube THAT one... go on, you'll be fine!
Subtract this: (four times seven),
÷ by two, then eleven;
write your total down, then put this sign: ÷
For the next part, we'll start with a four.
Find its square root, then add on one more.
Cube your total; take two;
add both digits, then you
have the next part of what is in store!
I'm sorry if this has been tough—
we don't do much maths off-the-cuff!
Just put LARGE over SMALL
(it's division, that's all!);
first four digits...
#limerick
#rhyming
62 reads
0 Comments
LostViking
Lost Viking
Lost Viking
Poem Published
15th Feb 2025 5:04pm
15th Feb 2025 5:04pm
Lady Named Lacy
There once was a lady named Lacy
But all of the men called her racy
She liked to fuck fast
So the men couldn’t last
But they all said her pussy was tasty
But all of the men called her racy
She liked to fuck fast
So the men couldn’t last
But they all said her pussy was tasty
#dirty
#limerick
#sex
230 reads
1 Comment
LostViking
Lost Viking
Lost Viking
Poem Published
14th Dec 2024 2:15pm
14th Dec 2024 2:15pm
Neighborly Old Maid
There once was a young man so bold,
His neighbor he solemnly told,
Her old down-home views
Were often misused
Or was she just stubborn and old?
He thought that she must be quite lonely,
With affection he acted quite phony.
To her he was kind
And she didn’t mind
She’d always been thought of as homely.
She fell for his charm and his wit,
One night while he sucked on her tits.
He was quite the buck
So she asked him to fuck
He jumped on and fucked her to bits.
His neighbor he solemnly told,
Her old down-home views
Were often misused
Or was she just stubborn and old?
He thought that she must be quite lonely,
With affection he acted quite phony.
To her he was kind
And she didn’t mind
She’d always been thought of as homely.
She fell for his charm and his wit,
One night while he sucked on her tits.
He was quite the buck
So she asked him to fuck
He jumped on and fucked her to bits.
#aging
#limerick
#sex
173 reads
1 Comment
MidnightSonneteer
Poem Published
26th Nov 2024 11:13pm
26th Nov 2024 11:13pm
Supremacist PTSD
Captain America's ship of state
was hijacked for an apartheid fate
all because of trauma
from the young Obama
and the love in 2000 and 8
was hijacked for an apartheid fate
all because of trauma
from the young Obama
and the love in 2000 and 8
#limerick
148 reads
6 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
23rd Nov 2024 5:25pm
23rd Nov 2024 5:25pm
Crying, But Not Crying (limerick)
There was a young lady
called Jemia
Her humour sometimes
could be dire
One day
for a joke
She wore
a great cloak
Whilst pretending to be
the Town Cryer!
by Jemia
called Jemia
Her humour sometimes
could be dire
One day
for a joke
She wore
a great cloak
Whilst pretending to be
the Town Cryer!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#limerick #satirical
#limerick #satirical
91 reads
0 Comments
MidnightSonneteer
Poem Published
17th Nov 2024 3:29pm
17th Nov 2024 3:29pm
Evolutions
In a butcher and clockmaker tryst
their scion anon gave skills a twist
when gears put together
in slaughterhouse weather
made her a meaty-horologist.
their scion anon gave skills a twist
when gears put together
in slaughterhouse weather
made her a meaty-horologist.
#limerick
223 reads
8 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Nov 2024 2:11am
4th Nov 2024 2:11am
Rapidly Rapid
There once a bar owner
called David
On a full moon would
turn a bit rabid
He wore green bottles
on his ceiling
Which were certainly
quite appealing
As the drink flowed
at a rate that was rapid
by Jemia
called David
On a full moon would
turn a bit rabid
He wore green bottles
on his ceiling
Which were certainly
quite appealing
As the drink flowed
at a rate that was rapid
by Jemia
#alcohol
#LifeAsAWriter
#limerick
82 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Nov 2024 1:59am
4th Nov 2024 1:59am
Three Months Hard Labour
There is a young bar
on Queens Road
Where many a drink
has now flowed
The 1200 Postcards
were nude
But not particularly
rude
Yet comfortable
within their abode
by Jemia
on Queens Road
Where many a drink
has now flowed
The 1200 Postcards
were nude
But not particularly
rude
Yet comfortable
within their abode
by Jemia
#funny
#historical
#LifeAsAWriter #limerick
#LifeAsAWriter #limerick
71 reads
0 Comments
MySmile
Besma
Besma
Poem Published
3rd Oct 2024 9:49pm
3rd Oct 2024 9:49pm
Mrs Doubtfire And Mr Bloomfield
Mrs Doubtfire
There was an old woman named Doubtfire
Who dreamed to own and rule an empire
What if she could marry
Young why would she hurry
She broke the rule and had to retire.
Mr Bloomfield
There was a young man whose name Bloomfield
For his family he was a shield
He suffered a burnout
With a huge pain of doubt
Bloomfield and Doubtfire caught in the field.
There was an old woman named Doubtfire
Who dreamed to own and rule an empire
What if she could marry
Young why would she hurry
She broke the rule and had to retire.
Mr Bloomfield
There was a young man whose name Bloomfield
For his family he was a shield
He suffered a burnout
With a huge pain of doubt
Bloomfield and Doubtfire caught in the field.
#funny
#limerick
#parody
128 reads
2 Comments
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
2nd Oct 2024 1:51pm
2nd Oct 2024 1:51pm
Some Funny Wisdom
Ant and grasshopper
The grasshopper spent the summer singing
Winter came, he went to friend ant begging
Sweet ant, can you give me a bite?
Bite !? bite your lower lip, now Scat !!!
Mate, you take your guitar, and start dancing
Volcano
There once was a woman from Khartoum
Who wanted to sing like Oum Kaltoum
She started with soprano
it sounded like volcano
That Oum Kaltoum woke up from her tomb
The grasshopper spent the summer singing
Winter came, he went to friend ant begging
Sweet ant, can you give me a bite?
Bite !? bite your lower lip, now Scat !!!
Mate, you take your guitar, and start dancing
Volcano
There once was a woman from Khartoum
Who wanted to sing like Oum Kaltoum
She started with soprano
it sounded like volcano
That Oum Kaltoum woke up from her tomb
#funny
#limerick
#parody
122 reads
8 Comments
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
30th Sep 2024 1:29pm
30th Sep 2024 1:29pm
Oh, Juliet !
when Romance and Reality collide
Did you milk the goat Juliet?
oh, dear romeo , not yet,
what about the cow?
well, i don't know how
Go milk Shakespeare's sonnets
**********
There was a man named Xypothalasus
who had sickness in the hypothalamus
he was always gaping
in the pond, and lazing
He was just feeling like hippopotamus
**********
Who's the sterile hen?
A rooster divorced his sterile hen
the hen went to marry another man
she fathered chicks, however
the...
Did you milk the goat Juliet?
oh, dear romeo , not yet,
what about the cow?
well, i don't know how
Go milk Shakespeare's sonnets
**********
There was a man named Xypothalasus
who had sickness in the hypothalamus
he was always gaping
in the pond, and lazing
He was just feeling like hippopotamus
**********
Who's the sterile hen?
A rooster divorced his sterile hen
the hen went to marry another man
she fathered chicks, however
the...
#funny
#limerick
#metaphor
110 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Limerick Poems
