NaPoWriMo2018 Seeking Honest Critique Poems
#NaPoWriMo2018
napowrimo2018 seeking honest critique poems. Honest feedback has been requested for these poems.
rosegold
Poem Published
6th May 2018 7:26am
6th May 2018 7:26am
ruined
I ruined me
my body and soul
will never be clean again
Unfortunately
I can't erase my history
it sticks to me
and molds me into who I am
The me I used to see
is never returning
she's been edited away
hacked into and re-saved
the old version deleted
at high cost – data lost
she's irrecoverable
Now she's messy,
scribbled over, tainted
and sentenced to carry
burdens growing ever heavy
Now she's scarred, she's
damaged and dirty
Unwanted, unneeded ...
my body and soul
will never be clean again
Unfortunately
I can't erase my history
it sticks to me
and molds me into who I am
The me I used to see
is never returning
she's been edited away
hacked into and re-saved
the old version deleted
at high cost – data lost
she's irrecoverable
Now she's messy,
scribbled over, tainted
and sentenced to carry
burdens growing ever heavy
Now she's scarred, she's
damaged and dirty
Unwanted, unneeded ...
#regret
#identity
#confessional
#NaPoWriMo2018
#SelfReflection
481 reads
0 Comments
rosegold
Poem Published
6th May 2018 7:24am
6th May 2018 7:24am
Panic
brain lit up like a match
struck on sensitivity
hand tremors
stay still
you look like a psycho
remember to breathe
deep and slow, count to eight
lungs choked by invisible hands
calm down
you're hyperventilating
uncontrollable panic
fists clenching skin
overstimulated
stop spazzing out
it shouldn't be that bad
hot flashes, cold sweat
ears ringing like fire alarms
head pounding, confused
you can't stop blinking
say something, do something
obsession, disconnection ...
struck on sensitivity
hand tremors
stay still
you look like a psycho
remember to breathe
deep and slow, count to eight
lungs choked by invisible hands
calm down
you're hyperventilating
uncontrollable panic
fists clenching skin
overstimulated
stop spazzing out
it shouldn't be that bad
hot flashes, cold sweat
ears ringing like fire alarms
head pounding, confused
you can't stop blinking
say something, do something
obsession, disconnection ...
#anxiety
#NaPoWriMo2018
#confusion
535 reads
0 Comments
rosegold
Poem Published
5th May 2018 9:12pm
5th May 2018 9:12pm
Night Terrors
young imagination bright
awakening each night
creating horrors to hide in
shadows and haunt young minds
nightlight on,
bedtime songs,
prayers to scare
away the fear
click – lights out
one last glass of water
door left open a crack
baby bear snuggled tight
stories forming into dreams
innocence distorted
silence sounds like screams,
evil spirits hovering
prison bed
claws underneath
reaching out for little feet
too paralyzed to leave
mom...
awakening each night
creating horrors to hide in
shadows and haunt young minds
nightlight on,
bedtime songs,
prayers to scare
away the fear
click – lights out
one last glass of water
door left open a crack
baby bear snuggled tight
stories forming into dreams
innocence distorted
silence sounds like screams,
evil spirits hovering
prison bed
claws underneath
reaching out for little feet
too paralyzed to leave
mom...
#children
#night
#scary
#monsters
#NaPoWriMo2018
522 reads
0 Comments
rosegold
Poem Published
5th May 2018 8:18pm
5th May 2018 8:18pm
Stuffed Animal Purge
I'm thirteen now,
I'm not a kid;
These toys in my room –
I'm too old for this shit.
I'll get a trash bag
and stuff it tight.
I'll be sure to unplug
my pink night-light.
Goodbye Big Dog, and
Bunny Blanky,
goodbye Mama Duck,
and Beanie Babies.
Goodbye Frosty Snowman,
and Pikachu,
Goodbye Three Piglets,
and Winnie the Pooh.
Goodbye Pink Elephant,
and Mr. Hare,
and last but not least,
Goodbye Baby Bear.
Don't look so sad
We've had...
I'm not a kid;
These toys in my room –
I'm too old for this shit.
I'll get a trash bag
and stuff it tight.
I'll be sure to unplug
my pink night-light.
Goodbye Big Dog, and
Bunny Blanky,
goodbye Mama Duck,
and Beanie Babies.
Goodbye Frosty Snowman,
and Pikachu,
Goodbye Three Piglets,
and Winnie the Pooh.
Goodbye Pink Elephant,
and Mr. Hare,
and last but not least,
Goodbye Baby Bear.
Don't look so sad
We've had...
#childhood
#NaPoWriMo2018
#memories #LifeCycle
#memories #LifeCycle
401 reads
2 Comments
thepositivelydark
Poem Published
5th May 2018 6:40am
5th May 2018 6:40am
Nadarang
Darang - exposed to the heat (of the fire)
Sa iyong ngiti lang naman
Ngunit nahulog ang loob
Di naman daw perpekto ang ngipin mo,
Pero tinamaan ako sa ngiti mo.
May kinang sa iyong mga mata
Sa pagbigkas ng wika
Ako'y nabighani
Nakakapanghina.
Ngunit di na
Aasahan pa na makita mo ako.
Nananatili ka sa puwesto mo sa aking likuran,
At sa buong isang oras, akin na namang mararamdamam,
Na ikaw ay nandiyan
At aking iniisip
Ano kaya ang iyong makikita kung sakaling sisilip.
At di pa rin...
Sa iyong ngiti lang naman
Ngunit nahulog ang loob
Di naman daw perpekto ang ngipin mo,
Pero tinamaan ako sa ngiti mo.
May kinang sa iyong mga mata
Sa pagbigkas ng wika
Ako'y nabighani
Nakakapanghina.
Ngunit di na
Aasahan pa na makita mo ako.
Nananatili ka sa puwesto mo sa aking likuran,
At sa buong isang oras, akin na namang mararamdamam,
Na ikaw ay nandiyan
At aking iniisip
Ano kaya ang iyong makikita kung sakaling sisilip.
At di pa rin...
#love
#heartbroken
#fire
#NaPoWriMo2018
#UnrequitedLove
1131 reads
2 Comments
rosegold
Poem Published
5th May 2018 2:23am
5th May 2018 2:23am
hoodie
floofy, poofy hoodie
all around me
just like a hug
if you let me borrow it
I'll think of you every time I wear it
it feels like home
smooth, easy, soft
just like me
big, protective security
just what I need
soothing, warm, gentle
just like you
wrap me in comfort
hold me all snug
watch my fears sink away
into the deep fluff
of your hoodie
I'll be safe
contented in your care
it's enough for me
floofy, poofy hoodie
all around me
just like a hug ...
all around me
just like a hug
if you let me borrow it
I'll think of you every time I wear it
it feels like home
smooth, easy, soft
just like me
big, protective security
just what I need
soothing, warm, gentle
just like you
wrap me in comfort
hold me all snug
watch my fears sink away
into the deep fluff
of your hoodie
I'll be safe
contented in your care
it's enough for me
floofy, poofy hoodie
all around me
just like a hug ...
#love
#NaPoWriMo2018
#support #acceptance
#support #acceptance
504 reads
2 Comments
Thetravelingfairy
Poem Published
5th May 2018 1:09am
5th May 2018 1:09am
Drops in The Ocean
what more are we
but drops in the ocean
melting into breakers that crash on a distant shore
we are nothing but petals on roses
withering away in the name of time
we are no more than a speck of light in a galaxy
dead stars still shine
we are the notes to a melody
played out of tune, our song remains
we are the kites that sail on windy days
begging to soar, never quite lifted from the ground
we are all of those things
a misplaced key to our eccentricities
a forgotten password to unlock those things
yes, we are...
but drops in the ocean
melting into breakers that crash on a distant shore
we are nothing but petals on roses
withering away in the name of time
we are no more than a speck of light in a galaxy
dead stars still shine
we are the notes to a melody
played out of tune, our song remains
we are the kites that sail on windy days
begging to soar, never quite lifted from the ground
we are all of those things
a misplaced key to our eccentricities
a forgotten password to unlock those things
yes, we are...
#identity
#sea
#universe
#nature
#NaPoWriMo2018
609 reads
2 Comments
rosegold
Poem Published
4th May 2018 6:08pm
4th May 2018 6:08pm
grown-ups
all night,
she'd been
eying those
bottles lined
up on the shelf.
they offered her a small sip-
yes! challenge accepted
brought to eager lips-
she wanted to do
what the grown-ups did.
tell me I'm a big girl,
she begged them to
see her for more
than just
a kid-
they laughed
at her silly antics;
never mature enough
no matter what she did-
but she knew she'd
prove herself
someday-
she wanted to do
what the grown-ups did
she'd been
eying those
bottles lined
up on the shelf.
they offered her a small sip-
yes! challenge accepted
brought to eager lips-
she wanted to do
what the grown-ups did.
tell me I'm a big girl,
she begged them to
see her for more
than just
a kid-
they laughed
at her silly antics;
never mature enough
no matter what she did-
but she knew she'd
prove herself
someday-
she wanted to do
what the grown-ups did
#identity
#alcohol
#NaPoWriMo2018 #LifeCycle
#NaPoWriMo2018 #LifeCycle
282 reads
0 Comments
rosegold
Poem Published
4th May 2018 9:12am
4th May 2018 9:12am
Drama Queen
little drama queen
a handful, unpredictable
always putting on a show
emotions as fragile as glass
one extreme or the other
no balance, no self control
either dashing in circles
enthusiastically exploring young life
unconstrained by fences or rules
or flopped on the floor
lips puckered into a pathetic pout
that whined, I'm not happy, pay attention to me
one moment, bursting with giggles
only to fall apart in an instant
sent away bawling to naptime
exhausting child,
a...
a handful, unpredictable
always putting on a show
emotions as fragile as glass
one extreme or the other
no balance, no self control
either dashing in circles
enthusiastically exploring young life
unconstrained by fences or rules
or flopped on the floor
lips puckered into a pathetic pout
that whined, I'm not happy, pay attention to me
one moment, bursting with giggles
only to fall apart in an instant
sent away bawling to naptime
exhausting child,
a...
#children
#family
#NaPoWriMo2018
423 reads
4 Comments
RevolutionAL
Poem Published
2nd May 2018 2:33pm
2nd May 2018 2:33pm
Calm Down!
New house
People to meet
Neighbours
Though I don't really care
for a friend list
of people
who know more
about my life
and
the things that keep me busy
than my Pshycologist
I noticed
the local tea party committee
Worked them out
So I do the
trip from car
to indoors
after work
in olympic record time
Locking doors
to be safe
secure from the noses ...
People to meet
Neighbours
Though I don't really care
for a friend list
of people
who know more
about my life
and
the things that keep me busy
than my Pshycologist
I noticed
the local tea party committee
Worked them out
So I do the
trip from car
to indoors
after work
in olympic record time
Locking doors
to be safe
secure from the noses ...
#rejection
#betrayal
#MovingOn #NaPoWriMo2018
#MovingOn #NaPoWriMo2018
906 reads
2 Comments
RevolutionAL
Poem Published
2nd May 2018 6:04am
2nd May 2018 6:04am
Let's Talk Straight Because I Need That
There is no
art
in the half-assed
perfect alignment
of the correct form
with a string of
words
found in an online
thesaurus
or rhyme stew creator
That popped up
at the oportune
moment;
like a teenage boy
with a hard on
at the swimming gala
I need to be the bastard
cracking
the bitch
in the room
with a fat
reality check
Poetry either seeps out of your
damn pores
and...
art
in the half-assed
perfect alignment
of the correct form
with a string of
words
found in an online
thesaurus
or rhyme stew creator
That popped up
at the oportune
moment;
like a teenage boy
with a hard on
at the swimming gala
I need to be the bastard
cracking
the bitch
in the room
with a fat
reality check
Poetry either seeps out of your
damn pores
and...
#NaPoWriMo2018
#WritingPoetry
680 reads
17 Comments
RevolutionAL
Poem Published
2nd May 2018 5:53am
2nd May 2018 5:53am
Life Hurts Like Hell
However, there is but one place
I choose to
no longer
co-exist
expecting
safety and
satin paths for
bare feet to tread;
while I journey
towards
the light of
eternal peace
Amen!
Entry 3
Poems that didn't make the cut
for GloPoWriMo 2018
Posted 3rd May 2018
I choose to
no longer
co-exist
expecting
safety and
satin paths for
bare feet to tread;
while I journey
towards
the light of
eternal peace
Amen!
Entry 3
Poems that didn't make the cut
for GloPoWriMo 2018
Posted 3rd May 2018
#NaPoWriMo2018
#SelfReflection
#HumanRights
454 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : NaPoWriMo2018 Seeking Honest Critique Poems
#NaPoWriMo2018 is curated by Ahavati (Tams).
