Really???

oH!  So you want it hot, huh? Well I can't give it to you that way. I mean, I could if I worked at it, but then how would it be hot for me? You come to the bed..ready! Well, almost. I even have to help you with that. I spent two hours on my hair. I used the "good" expensive kind. Smells great. Just in case you wanted to nuzzle your nose in it and say something nice...maybe..one day. I blew it out because you like to see it long. I curled it so you know I put effort into it. I went shopping for new lingerie , even though I had a million other things to do today. Sex started waaayy before you arrived. I bought a cosmo to read up on the latest tongue-thingy you like me to do. The one I learned last month was cool at first but you commented on it twice. Well, once and then a freaky moan. That perfume I buy is not cheap. I could pay a utility bill with that money; along with my nail salon ruby reds...all the better to graze you with my dear. My pedicure is perfection, but that you never mention. Those 'fuck me baby!' shoes cannot be bought in Payless. You say make-up doesn't matter but I see you staring at the glistening lips of even the least attractive, so foundation..eyeliner..mascara..eyeshadow.. (would mess up your sheets) all goes on for the 20 seconds you deign to look into  my face before I wash it off to be pretty yet practical, honey. I was hungry, but chose not to eat so you could get it Linda Lovelace-style without tossing the salad I could have had for lunch. Why do I have to hear you grumble when we tumble and then I ask you to make me a sandwich, as if YOU did all the work and I don't deserve it? Now you say I'm boring, and can WE spice it up, when you know damn well you mean~ can I?!!
Shit, I've been bored for ages! Do you buy SEXY undies for my enjoyment? Exactly what DO you DO to entice me? No I'm not talking about foreplay~~that has been covered. Think about it and let me know when you come back with some appreciation and a roast beef on honey-oat with mustard and cheese sliced super thin the way I LIKE IT.