I wouldn't be this

Sometimes I wish
I had raised myself.
So neglection would be foreign,
Solitare would be normalcy
And disassociation non-existant.

Maybe if it had been so,
The depression strangling my heart
Would have ceased to be
The tears drowning my eyes
Would have been wiped dry
And the tounting echoes in my head
Would be sweet silence
Maybe then I'd look at my self and smile

If I grew right before my very eyes
Maybe I wouldn't have to feel alone
Amongst my family,my friends..
I wouldn't smile
With pain holding me at gun point
Sometimes I wish I had raised myself
Maybe then I would have felt a sense of belonging
Maybe then..
I would have felt loved