COMPENSATION ENOUGH  (original - true - version)

                   
it seems                
to me                      
the waves                  
in this gulf                      
have intimately              
touched              
sweetly caressed                
and sensuously              
loved                  
my body      
mind and being    
my flesh  
my heart  
spirit and soul                 
more passionately                  
at times                      
than any        
human lover  
i have ever  
had or known             
ever has                      
so why                  
do i still feel                      
such a strong                  
need                      
for my fill                  
of that other                      
at times                  
as well                      
after so many                  
years                  
here alone                      
at play                  
by myself                    
with this                  
living sea                      
when                
the sensuous                  
touch                        
of warmth                  
wet and wind                      
seems                  
to almost satisfy                      
my human skin                  
enough                      
as the sun s               
loving touch                       
cooks me                  
so slowly                  
by degrees                    
sautéing me                  
in my senses                      
until i fully                  
surrender                      
all my                  
inner defenses                      
allowing myself                  
to be                      
consumed                  
so completely by                  
the elegant                  
intimacy                      
of such days                  
as these
as this                    
though still                  
at times                        
like now                  
it somehow seems                       
to me                  
to not quite                  
nearly be                      
compensation enough                      
for this other            
lonesome lack                      
of my                  
too often                  
neglected need                      
to simply                  
be touched                  
and held                      
to feel                  
be felt                  
and filled                      
oh so deeply                  
again                      
with that other                  
vital warmth                      
to let go                  
of all my                  
outer                      
and all my                  
inner defenses                      
so i can                  
surrender                  
more fully                      
allowing myself                  
to be consumed                    
more completely                  
by that other          
natural form          
and expression          
of human                 
love                      
shared through                  
raw                  
hot intimacy                      
with some other                  
kindred man                  
somewhere                
out here        
out there                
in this                  
great big world              
who s  still          
similarly            
experiencing            
this same    
prolonged    
deep longing    
inner and outer    
lack    
of true  natural  basic
essential    
physical touch and spark    
of mutually felt and shared    
prolonged healing    
human heart    
and love    
in our lives    
instead    
to come and replace    
our individual    
presently endured    
far too long prolonged    
sad  empty  hollow    
current  ongoing state    
of our seemingly chronic    
never ending    
human intimacy  deficiency syndrome    
leaving us perpetually    
trying our best    
to live and thrive    
but only partially succeeding    
for our hearts    
are running on empty    
for months    
and years    
and years at a time    
which leaves me    
here now    
to only further wonder    
however much longer    
will or must    
i and we    
whoever he is    
or might possibly    
be    
somewhere    
out there    
in this vast    
wide world    
of now over    
seven billion other    
living human souls
in which others
like me
living out
our perpetually lonesome lives
mostly by ourselves
without any lasting
more meaningfully
nurturing family  friends
or healthier  more personal
unconditionally loving  accepting
intimate relationships
nor significant others
to share our lives journeys with
must continue to suffer    
and silently endure    
this disconnected    
lonely absence      
of this most vitally important    
basic human need    
in our lives    
all by ourselves        
alone