Needle & The Vein

 I'm such a loser,
i realize,
clean for a week,
and yet again,
the sharp needle,
probing for the bloody vein,
my heart bounces fast,
in desperation,
my soul yells,
for redemption,
free me from this cage,
of selfdestruction,
no more laughing demons,
as i rush,
towards the light.
I'm such a loser,
everyone tries to help me,
i am the bringer of tears,
and sadness,
once again,
i feel alive,
by emotions,
and perception,
but around me,
it all fades,
the helping hands,
the worried faces,
it all fades,
untill just,
a bouncing heart,
bounces blood tears,
in regret and loss.
lets just dream,
once more,
of how things,
could have been.