deepundergroundpoetry.com
Consequence
Sweet angel's blood
drips from her lips
salting the earth.
Never again
a growing trust
will break the ground.
Now barren land
she trods alone
less love and life,
Her crimson lies
in glowing guise
have come around.
drips from her lips
salting the earth.
Never again
a growing trust
will break the ground.
Now barren land
she trods alone
less love and life,
Her crimson lies
in glowing guise
have come around.
Published 27th Aug 2010
| Edited 29th Aug 2010
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The author encourages honest critique.
28th Aug 2010 12:14pm
30th Aug 2010 9:48am
thank you so much. it was challenging for me trying to write something structured. [:
30th Aug 2010 10:26am
the structure of the poem as well as the way you choose the words remind me of haiku
you can be great at it (if you try, of course:) )
thanks for sharing
you can be great at it (if you try, of course:) )
thanks for sharing
30th Aug 2010 11:37am
aah, thank you! i have been seeing a lot of haiku on the site lately, but i haven't read up on them so am not exactly sure how they're meant to be written. you've inspired me to look into it though. thanks for reading, i love the depth of your work by the way. [:
6th Sep 2010 9:13am
6th Sep 2010 9:21am
i really had to try with this one, so thanks for the compliment. i envy them too. [:
6th Oct 2010 6:09pm
thanks, i do need to look into how to do them properly, but this was just 4 syllables each line, 4 lines in a verse, 4 verses total type of thing i was trying to do. as you seem to be the mistress of haiku, your compliments mean a lot! [:
