Thanks dad

I remember all the times you promised to stop this time ur done.
All i ever wanted was to have a little childhood fun.

I remember sitting in the car .
While you were drinking in another bar.

I hurt my little brother that day , because it made me so dam mad.
I wish i could apologize, hes the only brother ive ever had.

I remember that night in modesto when u had to much to drink.
I think you broke moms heart that night, of that its hard to think.

locked in the bathroom that night i tried to Beat myself to death.
And now you wonder why i ever started using Meth.

I wont do this to my children , i will kill myself before that day comes.
All  the fights i ever had , the man i beat was you , out his head the blood always runs.

I hate this world and all the greed.
You cursed me dad ,for these drugs  i always need.

I remember shaking in my room holding that machete blade.
I wanted to kill you many times , atleast that day, i prayed.

We never knew exactly who would come home.
I knew i should never talk about it, i was so alone.

I remember you and grandpa sitting me down.
You didnt want the word of my addiction all over town.

I was making a mess , and made you look bad.
But dope was the only thing that could fill the hole , left by my dad.

I always prayed , god i wish he would quit.
Now you been dry for over thirteen years and  it doesnt matter because your still a piece of shit.

I prayed for years to take me from this place.
But it doesn't matter , where i am.
Every time i close my eyes i see your fucking face.

I remember that time you picked me up.
You were weaving so bad i thought i would throw up.

I always thought you would quit and things would get much  better.
But you  cursed me with the guilt and shame so it doesn't really matter.

I always wished you would  quit just because i loved you?
But you never would untill the age of  fifty two?
Guess it was to late because i ended up JUST LIKE FUCKING YOU!