"Generalized" Anxiety Disorder

Like a fucking nagging
Ache
Embedded deep in
My neck

Just like the one
I wake up to
Every night
And Morning

I just can't
Sleep
Without that feeling
Greeting me
Every
Single
Fucking
Morning

They call it
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
In other words
My nerves are worked up
All the time
For no reason
Just
In general
Always
Neverending
Undying

I don't believe in meds
I feel like they'd only
Fuck me up
Worse than I feel
Most of the time
So I trudge through
These muddied
Hallowed waters
And thick jungles
Of fire
Accompanied by intermittent bursts
Of skin-burning frozenness

Nothing is good
Nothing is right
If only my brain decided
To be this unstoppable
In all the other areas of my life
Maybe things would be a little
Better
But they're not
And I work every day to make it so
My life might be a little easier
The next morning
The next night
The next go around

But I don't know
I never know
This shit takes hold of me
And throws me down that pit
Leaves me there with no food
No water
No love
It sits there
Smile, taps its foot
And waits for me
To die