deepundergroundpoetry.com
Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
Forcing my eyes open
with no recollection,
of where I am.
Bottles of Johnny
and JD.
crash to the tiled floor
as I drag myself
off the couch.
The crash,
jolting me awake.
The TV's still running
it's some repeat of becker
on TV1.
Foxtel ain't worth
it's price.
Picking up a bottle
still a few drops of scotch
leftover bowls of vegetarian spaghetti,
set on the table.
Stumbling along,
forearm against the wall
I step on a crushed can of VB
cheap piss..
With a faltered gaze
beginning to assess my
surroundings, I'm at Quinn's place.
I trip over the chuck bucket
as i'm staggering to the sink,
to wash my face clean.
Thank Christ, I held my guts.
as only water etches across the tiles
Decent effort? I think so.
With a crack of my neck
I notice the clock's at 6.
The sky outside tells me
It's morning.
Pretty damn hungry
as I microwave
the leftover vegetarian spaghetti.
still sitting on the table.
Minute and a half should do it
makes a good brekkie.
I think to myself
Quinn's a damn good cook.
I notice my wallet,
keys and phone.
Still on the lounge room
table. Thank christ for that.
Head still ringing..
I wonder what I said.
A sober man's thoughts,
are a drunk man's words.
As they
so often say.
with no recollection,
of where I am.
Bottles of Johnny
and JD.
crash to the tiled floor
as I drag myself
off the couch.
The crash,
jolting me awake.
The TV's still running
it's some repeat of becker
on TV1.
Foxtel ain't worth
it's price.
Picking up a bottle
still a few drops of scotch
leftover bowls of vegetarian spaghetti,
set on the table.
Stumbling along,
forearm against the wall
I step on a crushed can of VB
cheap piss..
With a faltered gaze
beginning to assess my
surroundings, I'm at Quinn's place.
I trip over the chuck bucket
as i'm staggering to the sink,
to wash my face clean.
Thank Christ, I held my guts.
as only water etches across the tiles
Decent effort? I think so.
With a crack of my neck
I notice the clock's at 6.
The sky outside tells me
It's morning.
Pretty damn hungry
as I microwave
the leftover vegetarian spaghetti.
still sitting on the table.
Minute and a half should do it
makes a good brekkie.
I think to myself
Quinn's a damn good cook.
I notice my wallet,
keys and phone.
Still on the lounge room
table. Thank christ for that.
Head still ringing..
I wonder what I said.
A sober man's thoughts,
are a drunk man's words.
As they
so often say.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 1
comments 22
reads 904
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
Anonymous
26th Jan 2013 8:46am
Every little detail you've added in makes this a very effective write, Evan. I love the first stanza - it really made me smile. I enjoyed the read. Great poem! :)
Carlene
Carlene
1
re: Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
26th Jan 2013 8:47am
Thanks Carlene, :-) I'll be doing a reading of this tonight, have it up by tomorrow. That's also my favorite stanza.
Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
26th Jan 2013 8:59am
Hey, were you watching me? This sounds almost exactly like how my typical day ending in y begins....wait, I dont drink scotch, if it were gin id be checkin the house for cameras
0
re: Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
26th Jan 2013 9:00am
Ahaha good on you mate, just a night at Quinn's. Makes a good muse for me, aha.
Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
26th Jan 2013 9:39am
" a sober mans thoughts,are a drunk mans words". Cant say Ive heard that before. Very true. Love the scene you paint.
1
Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
26th Jan 2013 9:42am
Thanks brother, yeah.. Just an old quote a mate threw around, thought I'd incorporate that into the poem, thanks again.
Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
26th Jan 2013 10:11pm
well done evan. i am very familiar with this scenario. excellent closer man. thas a quote for the books........
1
re: Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
27th Jan 2013 1:09am
Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
27th Jan 2013 00:57am
the sober mans thoughts are a drunk mans words.
meant to touch on this earlier, a well stated truth evan, good stuff man
meant to touch on this earlier, a well stated truth evan, good stuff man
0
re: Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
27th Jan 2013 1:10am
Thanks again mate! It's an old quote a friend at a drink up tossed around. Aha
Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
27th Jan 2013 7:11am
Evan, Im really diggin your Pen! You are so gifted!
This write is Awesome!
This write is Awesome!
0
re: Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
27th Jan 2013 7:12am
Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
Actually, "Gwop" I think this poet possesses a skill far out reaching that of your own, and that this random attack, is not actually random occurrence. I think that you have some apologizing to do to all the poets who's work you have slandered so far. This is distasteful, and you should be ashamed.
Evan, I have very different opinions on this poem and your voice, good work, great diction, and nice flow.
Versonnen
Evan, I have very different opinions on this poem and your voice, good work, great diction, and nice flow.
Versonnen
1
Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
29th Jan 2013 00:02am
this is talent, so realistic, descriptive, and we call have had nights like that!! , wonderful
2
Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
29th Jan 2013 00:04am
All I see Versonnen is a jealous, spiteful and insecure punk with no writing ability whatsoever.
Thanks for your comments and support Caliban,
Gwop, kindly fuck off mate.
Thanks for your comments and support Caliban,
Gwop, kindly fuck off mate.
Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
29th Jan 2013 6:11am
I like this, although it reads more like prose in a poetry format x) Good descriptives, but I'd like to see more emotion in it, rather than simply seeing the scene you've set out here, which is still a good read.
Peace, Indie
Peace, Indie
1
re: Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
29th Jan 2013 6:13am
Something great to work with, good deal Indie, if I end up doing a pros eof this I'll imply your critique, thanks much! :)
Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
5th Feb 2013 11:03am
re: Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
5th Feb 2013 9:16pm
Yeah.. most heavy nights of drinking turn in when I'm struggling awake the next morning.. haha. Thanks for your comment mate.
Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
5th Feb 2013 9:28pm
I have to concur with Indie Evan. Reading several of your pieces I have figured out you are a very good prose writer, particularly for your age. What you often seem to lack is the compression of poetry, making your words work for you on multiple levels. For me, that was probably the toughest aspect of writing, so... Trust me, this is no insult. It is just something you have to practice
over, and over, and over again... lol
You get the idea ;)
over, and over, and over again... lol
You get the idea ;)
2
re: Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
5th Feb 2013 9:38pm
Ah thank you Maggie, I'm actually working on a fictional novel, and I'll be posting a decently sized excerpt from it. Either today, or tomorrow. I'll see how I go.
And thank you Maggie, I ask for honest critique for a reason, and you've given me something useful to improve with. And I thank you dearly for that. :-)
And thank you Maggie, I ask for honest critique for a reason, and you've given me something useful to improve with. And I thank you dearly for that. :-)
Re: Cracked Bottles of Drink and Leftover Scraps
28th Mar 2013 9:17am