Resentment

I've been in this dark place  
for quite a while now  
if this place had a name  
it might be "Dissatisfaction"  
or something like,  
"Indifference" or "Weariness"  
All suiting words  
describing a dreary situation  
 
I've heard I'm good with words  
but maybe I'm not  
maybe just most people are terrible with them  
but that's beside the point  
the point is really,  
that I am so very tired of this  
this feeling that seemed to manifest  
deep inside  
roots buried so deep in my core  
that this diseased tree will never fall down  
 
I'm told by my therapist  
to go deep down  
within myself  
to find these roots  
for there is the source of my discontent  
I traveled this path  
and found you  
 
I wasn't prepared for the revelation  
after we have come so far  
and I had rebuilt all those bridges  
that I had set to torch  
that all these feelings  
could knock me flat  
and curdle in my stomach  
like rancid emotions  
 
It was always you  
I see that now  
and now my biggest regret  
is not telling you how I feel  
what I know  
what I want you to see in my eyes  
that you hurt me  
more than words could ever explain  
 
It's too late now  
because we made our peace  
though now it seems premature  
there's so much left to fester  
and I don't have the heart to tell you  
that I resent you