deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Void
You're my other half without u im lost
not whole because you complete me in every way
Like the sun and the evening star
You brighten and lift my day
So I pray I'll never lose you
Your love I'll never abuse because,
love is true
In the beginning it seems that way but
in the end u realized sometime that's not
how this love game is played
not whole because you complete me in every way
Like the sun and the evening star
You brighten and lift my day
So I pray I'll never lose you
Your love I'll never abuse because,
love is true
In the beginning it seems that way but
in the end u realized sometime that's not
how this love game is played
Published 18th Jan 2013
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18th Jan 2013 6:04pm
Got some grammar to fix. In the first sentence. "Your" should be "You're" because if you broke up the contraction "you're" and put it in the first sentence, it'd be "You are my other half." Your "other" in the first sentence is missing a "t." In the last sentence I believe you meant "lose" not loose. Aside from that you've kept a nice smooth rhythm throughout the poem. I love this part of the poem "So I pray I'll never loose you
Your love I'll never abuse because,
love is true" It has great significance in it. You've got another nice piece here overall
Your love I'll never abuse because,
love is true" It has great significance in it. You've got another nice piece here overall
18th Jan 2013 6:31pm
