revenge (for over-trusting teenage girls)

I hope she kisses you on your first date.

I hope her smile gives you those familiar butterflies in your stomach
I hope you grow to love her laughter more than your favorite song
I hope you do not think of me.

I hope your parents love her the first time you bring her home to meet them
I hope she lets you talk about forevers and always
And when you reach for her, interlocking your fingers together perfectly, I hope you don’t notice who she’s texting under the table.

I hope she wears makeup nicknamed things like love and desire for your six-month anniversary
And when you think how the nicknames of her makeup are reflected in her eyes when she looks at you
I hope she does not make you think of me.

I hope you never have an argument.
She will patiently agree with everything you say
And you will wonder why it wasn’t like this before
Do not think of me.

But when you leave the sixth voicemail, when one missed call turns into twelve
I hope she keeps you in waiting room silence.

When she finally picks up, on the twelfth call, and tells you she is sorry
I hope you believe her.
Wholeheartedly.

I hope she makes it up to you in dates and apologies, I hope you learn to trust her so you believe her the second time.
And the third time.
And the fourth time.
But the fifth time, you convince yourself
Something could be wrong
And you’re just concerned

So you drive over to her house, and she opens the door, and betrayal is staring at you straight in the face just because you care
And he wears a soccer jersey
and has perfect hair
and a perfect smile
and a perfect laugh
and makes her happier than you do

And you realize she is wearing makeup with nicknames like love and desire for someone else, and has been for months!

I hope you keep your photographic memory snapping
Your watery eyes flapping
Your lego walls trapping
I want you to remember this day
I want you to remember her smile
I want you to hear her laugh like a broken record
I want you to be broken

And when the day is over, and you still remember, when you take a good long look in the mirror
When you do not recognize yourself at all
When you hate the person you have become, then and
Only then
Do I want you
To think
Of me.