deepundergroundpoetry.com
When You Were Young
You were much sweeter
when your mind
was only filled with flowers
and thoughts of clouds
you used to be
happy with the scents
of vanilla
and cold lemonade;
you were afraid
of only sewing needles;
you didn't care
if mud splashed among your toes.
you were much sweeter
when life wasn't around,
but that was then
and this is now.
when your mind
was only filled with flowers
and thoughts of clouds
you used to be
happy with the scents
of vanilla
and cold lemonade;
you were afraid
of only sewing needles;
you didn't care
if mud splashed among your toes.
you were much sweeter
when life wasn't around,
but that was then
and this is now.
Published 11th Jan 2013
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11th Jan 2013 2:39am
I like this piece, simple, sweet imagery, conveying the idea well :) only problem I find with it is in the last stanza.
"you were much sweeter
when life wasn't around"
It jarred the with the rest of the poem and left me a little confused about exactly what you meant. But other than that I really enjoyed this piece.
Peace, Indie
"you were much sweeter
when life wasn't around"
It jarred the with the rest of the poem and left me a little confused about exactly what you meant. But other than that I really enjoyed this piece.
Peace, Indie
11th Jan 2013 4:09am
I like this poem because it makes me think. It makes you think of how people can change over time. Some change are for the better and others not so much. I wonder how the person in this poem turned out. Nice work
11th Jan 2013 4:10am
11th Jan 2013 4:26am
