deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Sea Witch
"If I show you all my scars
will you show me all of yours?"
On a cold dark night by firelight
lost beside the roaring sea,
waves roll in as the tide goes out
she said “sit and stay with me.”
“Will you draw me every detail
of the life you lived back then?”
“Fetch me photographs you cherish
just sift through dust and see,
young faces from your attic, please
share fond memories with me.”
“If I tell you of my wanderings
will you tell me what you’ve seen?”
“My dreams sunk long ago below
thousand fathoms out to sea,
there wasn’t much to pick through
but I’ll tell you all I knew.”
“If I shows you tails of serpents
will you spin me scales of snakes?”
I peered curiously through firelight
saw her ancient eyes turn red,
two sharp claws reached out for me
but just then I awakened in bed!
will you show me all of yours?"
On a cold dark night by firelight
lost beside the roaring sea,
waves roll in as the tide goes out
she said “sit and stay with me.”
“Will you draw me every detail
of the life you lived back then?”
“Fetch me photographs you cherish
just sift through dust and see,
young faces from your attic, please
share fond memories with me.”
“If I tell you of my wanderings
will you tell me what you’ve seen?”
“My dreams sunk long ago below
thousand fathoms out to sea,
there wasn’t much to pick through
but I’ll tell you all I knew.”
“If I shows you tails of serpents
will you spin me scales of snakes?”
I peered curiously through firelight
saw her ancient eyes turn red,
two sharp claws reached out for me
but just then I awakened in bed!
Written by
maryanns
(ravenwing)
Published 10th Jan 2013
| Edited 16th Jan 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 3
comments 29
reads 1507
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: The Sea Witch
10th Jan 2013 8:35pm
re: Re: The Sea Witch
11th Jan 2013 8:45pm
Ah, thank you, Kexby; I sort of hated to cut it off like that... but it seemed to have run it's course.
Smiles and cheers, Mary Ann
Smiles and cheers, Mary Ann
re: re: Re: The Sea Witch
12th Jan 2013 11:20am
The ending of a poem is often more difficult than the beginning.The final sull stop is what one is aiming for. Think of a composer and a symphony the final cord . .when is it to be the argument has come to an end you have completed your intention. I often find I can improve a poem by removing the last two lines. I like your stuff Brian
0
re: re: re: Re: The Sea Witch
12th Jan 2013 6:06pm
Thank you so much for your thoughts, Brian - how often it has been pointed out to me that
tying up
in tidy knots
is not necessarily
a good and proper thing...
and I do listen, honestly I do
although
individual
quirks I have
I stubbornly hold
onto despite come what may.
Some may say I'm deaf, dumb and blind...
but I learn something new every day!
Thanks, Brian - truly appreciated!! :-)
tying up
in tidy knots
is not necessarily
a good and proper thing...
and I do listen, honestly I do
although
individual
quirks I have
I stubbornly hold
onto despite come what may.
Some may say I'm deaf, dumb and blind...
but I learn something new every day!
Thanks, Brian - truly appreciated!! :-)
re: re: re: re: Re: The Sea Witch
12th Jan 2013 8:02pm
re: re: re: re: re: Re: The Sea Witch
13th Jan 2013 7:51pm
Thanks again, my friend. You've sure been on a poetic roll lately... I fear I'm falling far behind the curve. ^..^
Re: The Sea Witch
10th Jan 2013 9:32pm
Wonderful poem, I loved the stanza's up to the ending. Drawing in anticipation skillfully.
Well done to you.
Well done to you.
2
re: Re: The Sea Witch
This poem started off absolutely seriously but then something turned it on it's ear... hardly dark enough to be called dark, eh? Thank you, Scribbler12 - really appreciate your comments, Mary Ann
Re: The Sea Witch
Anonymous
11th Jan 2013 3:10am
It's a great read, Mary Ann. Did not expect the punch line at the end. Made me smile. Terrific poem! :)
Carlene
Carlene
2
re: Re: The Sea Witch
11th Jan 2013 8:52pm
Do you ever start 'um with something in mind and have 'um flip you the bird and go off on their own? Maybe I should not admit my poetic foibles... hee-hee. Thanks so much for liking it- next dark one I promise will be black as midnight!! Mary Ann
Re: The Sea Witch
11th Jan 2013 11:17am
re: Re: The Sea Witch
11th Jan 2013 8:55pm
I'm still questioning my muse... like what?? I was serious and it was serious... or maybe not enough! Giggles and thank you's, Mary Ann
Re: The Sea Witch
Anonymous
11th Jan 2013 2:00pm
Wow! What a walk thru your dream. Nice visual. :)
1
re: Re: The Sea Witch
11th Jan 2013 8:57pm
Thanks, Flowergirl... so glad you enjoyed reading it, I truly appreciate your feedback! Take care,my friend - Mary Ann
Re: The Sea Witch
12th Jan 2013 3:19am
outstanding! my mind was well with the sea,then to be twisted to the bedroom,defo one of the best here
1
re: Re: The Sea Witch
12th Jan 2013 6:19pm
Awww... how neat! I actually thought some readers might feel cheated out of grisly gross gory details!
Gosh, maybe there's still a little kid inside us all, eh? Thanks, my friend - silly Mary Ann
Gosh, maybe there's still a little kid inside us all, eh? Thanks, my friend - silly Mary Ann
Re: The Sea Witch
12th Jan 2013 6:19pm
Phew! nice twist at that and you led us so innocently to it. Thanks for writing that one
Terry
Terry
1
re: Re: The Sea Witch
12th Jan 2013 6:22pm
Sometimes I'm just the hand that holds the pen. I'd love to take credit, but... heehee! Thank you so much, Terry. :-)
re: re: Re: The Sea Witch
12th Jan 2013 6:39pm
Don't tell me Sasquatch had you in his hot grasp again making you write so well.
0
re: re: re: Re: The Sea Witch
13th Jan 2013 7:46pm
Eeee, hopefully I could smell Squatch a comin' through the woods... if not, my tomcat would growl! At least I hope so. Good one... ^..^
Re: The Sea Witch
12th Jan 2013 6:52pm
*grins*
“If I shows you tails of serpents
will you spin me scales of snakes?”
Darlin
You write like an Indian tells a good story. That is a fabulous thing in my opinion ;)
“If I shows you tails of serpents
will you spin me scales of snakes?”
Darlin
You write like an Indian tells a good story. That is a fabulous thing in my opinion ;)
1
re: Re: The Sea Witch
13th Jan 2013 7:55pm
Aw, you're far too kind to me, MaggieG! I'm bowing to your expertise... and lovin' all the readin' of it, too!! Take care, my friend.
Re: The Sea Witch
Anonymous
26th Jan 2013 11:16am
What a wonderful piece of writing!
Really enjoyed the read, Mary Ann.
A delight. Should be read aloud in class....'twould kickstart students' minds to....CREATIVITY of their own :-)
Keep penning, would you....
Cheers
Tidespotter
Really enjoyed the read, Mary Ann.
A delight. Should be read aloud in class....'twould kickstart students' minds to....CREATIVITY of their own :-)
Keep penning, would you....
Cheers
Tidespotter
0
re: Re: The Sea Witch
28th Jan 2013 8:17pm
Thanks greatly, my friend - been on the short end of poetic thought lately, may need a see dietary change... perhaps shellfish? Thanks again, Mary Ann
Re: The Sea Witch
28th Jan 2013 3:47pm
re: Re: The Sea Witch
28th Jan 2013 8:20pm
Tee-hee, I am simply tickled pink to find you here! Miles of welcoming smiles to you, Dewdrop! So happy to see you, Ravenwing :-)
Re: The Sea Witch
24th Feb 2013 11:38pm
~***~ <<< Thank You for sharing... I really like this poem. >>> ~***~
0
re: Re: The Sea Witch
25th Feb 2013 9:14pm
Thank you so much, LV. Wishing you a very warm welcome to the website! ^..^ :-) :-)
Re: The Sea Witch
Anonymous
8th Mar 2013 9:17pm
Reading along, enjoying the pace and feeling of the tale... and ya got me. lol. Somehow missed the "dark" category listing. Even more delightful for the surprise! Good job, Ravenwing.
0