orgasm iv

This is the best of the "orgasm" poems, I think. It's definitely the most original and inventive. The first line, especially when juxtaposed against the second, is such a fantastic, creepy and yet gorgeous metaphor, and I thought it was interesting how you decided to start instead of end with a bracketed phrase. One minor quibble, though: did you mean "past the periphery," and would the flow be improved if you gave those last three words a line of their own?

i like all the orgasm poems.. im not sure which is my favorite.. but this one definitely has a nice flow to it.. you were right about cutting the last line into two sentences.. but no i didn't mean past.. glad you dig it thanks for the compliment buddy

how much you can say with so few words. Intense.

oh thanks so much hun! really appreciate the read and support.. i'll look forward to reading your poetry.. anyway thanks tons! i love saying as little as possible but with all the power possible in just those few lines.. cheers!

i think your poem descibes the moment perfectly

occasionally us poets get the opportunity for this to happen... you know you have when readers nod their heads and know exactly what you mean : ) ty