deepundergroundpoetry.com
Darkness Always Comes
In the morning sun, shadows play
To remind us darkness always comes.
Though your smile may blaze, it's seen through your hairs shade
To remind me darkness always comes.
Your face became the moon as it turned away
To remind me darkness always comes.
To remind us darkness always comes.
Though your smile may blaze, it's seen through your hairs shade
To remind me darkness always comes.
Your face became the moon as it turned away
To remind me darkness always comes.
Published 15th Dec 2012
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The author encourages honest critique.
15th Dec 2012 4:40am
15th Dec 2012 5:12am
Lol thanks :) I need to pay more attention when I'm checking what I wrote!
15th Dec 2012 6:42am
I really like the message in the first two lines, and the use of the refrain "to remind us darkness always comes"
I think you lose the impact of the refrain on the last line because you didn't give it it's own line but that could just be me.
anyhow , nice job man. shine on
I think you lose the impact of the refrain on the last line because you didn't give it it's own line but that could just be me.
anyhow , nice job man. shine on
Thank you, I tried using a refrain a couple times before and it never quite worked, I'm glad I finally got it right. Appreciate the help :)
