deepundergroundpoetry.com
Missing Meaningful
Wherever I go by many I walk by
No one dares looks at me straight in the eye
Power radiates off me and people stare
People argue but with me they do not dare
Nerves assault others simply to be in my presence
Because no one knows me, just my pretense
Whispers die out when I go near
It's clear to hear everyone's fear
No real friends amongst me and it stings
People only want me for my material things
I'd trade anything to be rid of these ways
And be loved at least for one of my days
No one dares looks at me straight in the eye
Power radiates off me and people stare
People argue but with me they do not dare
Nerves assault others simply to be in my presence
Because no one knows me, just my pretense
Whispers die out when I go near
It's clear to hear everyone's fear
No real friends amongst me and it stings
People only want me for my material things
I'd trade anything to be rid of these ways
And be loved at least for one of my days
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Re: Missing Meaningful
7th Dec 2012 7:50pm
Whispers die out when I go near
It's clear to hear everyone's fear
Favorite line, great job with this one. 5 times I've read it now
It's clear to hear everyone's fear
Favorite line, great job with this one. 5 times I've read it now
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re: Re: Missing Meaningful
7th Dec 2012 8:01pm
Re: Missing Meaningful
Anonymous
7th Dec 2012 8:13pm
Awe dang great poem with a lot of meaning!
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re: Re: Missing Meaningful
7th Dec 2012 8:19pm
Re: Missing Meaningful
7th Dec 2012 8:38pm
A wistful view of a kind of loneliness that you, maybe, created for yourself (as a defense?) and now seem to be trapped in and wanting out. A, sort of, hard exterior hiding a sweet, soft, and vulnerable interior that you would very much like to share.
Or maybe I am completely wrong?
At any rate, a poem of much depth and the cause of much thought.
Thank you for sharing it with us.
Or maybe I am completely wrong?
At any rate, a poem of much depth and the cause of much thought.
Thank you for sharing it with us.
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re: Re: Missing Meaningful
7th Dec 2012 10:51pm
I'm glad I got you thinking. I actually wrote this poem for a 'to be loved or feared' competition that I didn't win. It was a fun write though! Thanks for stopping by
Re: Missing Meaningful
26th Dec 2012 9:42am
powerful in it's simplicity
deep meaning hidden within that feeling of being alone... well done!
deep meaning hidden within that feeling of being alone... well done!
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re: Re: Missing Meaningful
26th Dec 2012 11:50pm
Re: Missing Meaningful
This was good! Just the first line is off to me
"When I go by many I pass by"
It reads funny
Maybe just a suggestion
When I walk by I'm unnoticed
Or
I can walk by many people everyday and I'm just passing them by
My little opinion otherwise it's good. Your reaction to the comp with Caroline had me seek you out. Glad I did seem like a good writer xoxo gg
"When I go by many I pass by"
It reads funny
Maybe just a suggestion
When I walk by I'm unnoticed
Or
I can walk by many people everyday and I'm just passing them by
My little opinion otherwise it's good. Your reaction to the comp with Caroline had me seek you out. Glad I did seem like a good writer xoxo gg
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re: Re: Missing Meaningful
28th Dec 2012 9:30pm
Thanks Gigi for checking out some of my work, I appreciate all your comments. I know I'm not a pro writer and I dont try to be :) I do appreciate the suggestions.
As to that comp,my reaction caused a whole 5 page poem now dedicated to me! Can you believe it? It's quite silly.
I write for me, because I like it.. And if people don't.. Go away!... You know? Simple as that.
As to that comp,my reaction caused a whole 5 page poem now dedicated to me! Can you believe it? It's quite silly.
I write for me, because I like it.. And if people don't.. Go away!... You know? Simple as that.
re: re: Re: Missing Meaningful
29th Dec 2012 00:57am
Wow that's pretty sad. She's lame or he. Happens here all the time. I'm no pro either. At all I'm just a story teller. But you have style I like it. You like it correct? Fuck the rest mama
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