high and depressed.

ignoring my responsibilities and just gettin high
thinkin i've been strong for so long just barely gettin by
guess this was just my time, its my turn to breakdown
sittin here writin rhymes, people dont even know im still around
i isolated myself, excluded myself, shoulda just fuckin executed myself

why am i even here? people dont even know i exist
i aint never made a change in the world except this fuckin list,
of shit i wanna achieve, goals i wanna reach
that shit fuckin haunts me everyday that im a leech
just livin off of hand outs and i keep runnin my mouth
complainin and talkin shit, cant believe i aint been hit, yet
i just need to be grateful for all the shit i do have
and i need to get it together to go get the shit i dont have
aint nobody gonna hand it to me on a silver platter
but whatever i do it just aint gonna matter

im sittin alone with my headphones blarin
staring at the sky thinkin "when should i start carin?"
cuz at this point i dont give a fuck what im fuckin up
sometimes i just lay in bed wishin i was dead
like what am i even doing here? why am i alive?
started hating my life when i was barely five
lonely and scared, felt like no one cared

now i got these cuts and these scars, that aint much
i just smoke some weed and there aint nothin that i need
but sometimes, on occasion the sadness is worse when im high
but is it even worth it to cry?
thinking a little too much, gettin overwhelmed
sometimes i wish that i was blind so i wouldnt have to see
the effect of all this stress that i've placed upon thee
like slim said, suddenly my wrist tried to slit me
dont even know whats goin on maybe im a little too gone
but i just say fuck it and hit another bong
i just hope i die better than i lived
with a little more respect and a little less pain
a little less hate and a little more fame.