This Thanksgiving

I was 
eating cold turkey
thinking about how 
I went to bed that night
and it was the first of many 
that I didn't pray
in fact I had sinned.

People say
things happen for a reason  
and I guess as a good Christian 
I should too
but then I think back 
to when I hugged your still body wishing to feel
your diseased chest stir once more 

it didn't
and I can't help but believe 
this has no reason  

I was 
eating cold turkey 
wishing you had gone cold turkey.