lullaby blue

This read hit home...moving to say the least.

Hey hey...thanks :-)

hh

Enjoy the silence, savor the laughs of children from afar and take comfort in the fact that, whether it is true or not, you had the wherewithall to preserve your own sanity by realizing that you may not be fit to be a parent. Many of us ignore that about ourselves and dive off the deep end anyway, to the detriment of the future generation.  I also enjoyed a shorter piece from you. Good on ya Capt'n Hemi!

Ah yes...my poems do seem to get longer and longer...man needs to know when to shut up :-)

Cheers for the stop-by and your own thoughts...good on you.

hh

"A man needs to know when to shut up." Oh man, Hemi! If I'd had a cent for every time I said that to myself! Amen to that brother!

good work man. the last line hits the spine-buzzes perfectly. you made the space work well.

"the reason / not said aloud / is crueller"

admire the word choice of this one too. very brief and exacting, something you seem to be quite accomplished at.

thm you good looking bastard....yes, the goal is always to not have a word wasted, and proud of this piece for the economy of words versus their weight of idea...what a pleasure writing can be when it brings joy :-)

Good on you man....loved that last piece of yours I left a comment on...rock on.

hh

Hugh,

nothing for you here but honest admiration.

It kind of feels wrong to have enjoyed reading this and gone back and done it again.

"if I was an island
they’d bury hearts here"   great stuff.

sorry 'bout the short comment.

Eamon...no harm man...if you'd have given me any more love over my time here I'd be knocked up :-)

You will recognise some ideas here that we've talked about...all the usual junk about a minimum of words, set-up etc, so happy it sat well with your eyes.

Good on you man.

hugh.

if i was an island.........brilliant.

Good on you for feeling it, and for sayin' so JR.

hh

Not sure the weight could be heavier or the economy leaner. Very impressive, refreshing, and the depressing gives way to impressive again.

Good man lb...love the way your comments are pretty much in the style of the poem you commented on...glorious :-)

Cheers for your continued stop-byes...love 'em as well.

hh

Honest and to the point with such a unique style truly exceptional piece you got here Hemi, enjoyed!

Good on you my dear....happy to see you cruising through and feeling it :-)

hh

The fifth verse ("so now I go home") is a bit cheesy, but otherwise this is a crisp and focused poem of heartache which is lovely to read. The last lines in brackets are very very excellent. Critique is JMHO. Thanks for the read.

Good man Jack....you and I share a demanding eye, so pleased it worked for you. The cliche bit was tricky, as the whole damn thing is pretty much just a 'I wish I'd knocked someone up' riff, of which there are thousands....skating on cliches no matter where I turn :-)

Good man Jacky boy.

h.

the title was an instant draw for me... the lyrical nature of it. in a much earlier write you talk about connecting to these children when you're out on the water - the intimacy of the moments magnified by the relationship you have with the ocean. but the wide open setting there makes it different than the close, focused, confessional vibe in this piece.  
 
yesterday i was reading and re-reading "I was great once, cunts" and this rides right alongside it,  
"painfully and finally / learn love is never ever free" echoes through this piece in the feelings of inadequacy to be a parent... not sure if he's able to give the love the narrator didn't receive properly as a child. the last line in parentheses rings well after the read is done, as well as the penultimate duo. well crafted, hemi. i felt it.

Ah J....you are the kind of reader that feeds me, and I've said that many times before...to know that I am being read so well, and in a way that actually adds to the work, is a treasure I cannot express in a way that conveys the pleasure and pride I get in return....it's a fucking wonder to behold :-)

hhdppohm

seems simple effective art this poetry in ur words..such smooth small delivery this one.
I tend to use the word delivery here, cos of ur surprisingly refreshing usage of "undelivered"..that stanza marks a twist of realisation in a reader in me..like what the  character feels here.
one phrase takeaway would be ..the real giving for a real conception, whatever it is, love or more.
as true to ur intro liner in dup..ur writes being very personal, touches a universal philosophy.
enjoying ur writes. really.
thankyou hh:)

Fuck yeah...that's what we're here for...honest joy, spread both ways :-)

hh

I'd have your babies.. even gay i would have them.. and we could learn together how to loveless. aweee... kissesss...

Ah D...thank fuck you came back to my pages...love the love :-)

hh

Won't take the fucker without leaving a stain, so:

It's refreshing to see some raw flesh exposed, and hey, even got me feeling bad for you, but of course we choose our paths.

I see no fault at all in this. The last lines really finished it off well.

Again, good to see the ego and character stripped away(as much as they can be).

Good man Mr A...you and I share a passion for guts and glory and the page, and a life told straight, so you know your take matters...good on you man.

hh

In my reading list.  One of the most vulnerable poems I've seen so far.

Some killer lines too!  I won't list them, I'd quote at least half the poem...

Good enough....happy to hear a reader say it 'cos they felt it :-)

rock on baby.

hh.

i so relate, started me off again, crying......powerful and sad.x hemi.xxxxkaren

Hey...no tears needed...just words on a page baby :-)

Good on you.

hh

H to the H this great. Everything is said above boo xoxox CZ

Yay! Hey gg....pleased you liked it my dear :-)

hdph

Well thanks....love it when these greyer pieces get love :-)

Cheers for feeling it and saying so.

hh

I miss so many wonderful poems, thankfully this one was found while browsing the "popular" list for the month.

It's fantastic. You've managed to convey such vulnerability in sparse wording. A heart-tugging exposure of what might have been. I simply don't have the words to describe how beautiful it is so enough with stumbling through - *love* it!

Yay....shutting the reader up is a very special moment...thank you for saying so :-)

hh

Damn, well thats it. I've read 4 of your poems so far & loved everyone of them. So now I'm following you ! I don't think I can properly convey how much this hit home. So I'll just say thank you for writing something so beautiful & sad & real.  

Hey hey....good on you for getting fired up. This piece is a write that should feel like I carved it on your arm, so pleased it got in to you a little bit :-)

Welcome to the party.

hh

Brilliant! its a beautiful poem!

good on you for sayin' it :-)

HH.

I loved this write.  Firstly, for the structure and thoughts expressed, but then also for what remains unsaid but implied and suggested. I enjoy poems that leave a bit of breathing space, room for the reader to slide in between lines and feel their way around.

Poems are not merely to be read for words only, they need to connect and be felt.  It was.

Lola

It's all about the gaps my dear...the spaces in between that the reader fills with their own lives/thoughts/experiences...lovely to hear that it worked for you in that way :-)

Good on you.

hh

I have moments of silence, then my children walk in the house...with the damn neighborhood kids!!! hehee

I loved the feel I got from your words, very honest, Thank you ;)

No worries my dear..and yes, I do understand that, mostly, kids suck :-)

Cheers for cruising through.

hh