I wish.

I wish that I didn't have all these regrets and fears.
I wish I didn't fear your thoughts on me.
I wish I had more reason's to be here.
I wish I didn't trust so easily.
I wish you could see, just how imperfect I am.
I wish I was strong.
I wish my weakness never showed to you.
I wish I could understand why you do the things you do.
I say thing's I don't mean.
I always have the chance to speak my mind.
But I don't seem to have enough breath to yell it to you.
How did I get this way?
I'm painting the flowers, black and gold.
I feel like I need to scream but I never speak.
Although everytime I think, nothing seems to go away.
The pain is still here.
I hated how weak I once was.
But now I see, I'm even weaker now.
I'm like a vars, If you push me off the ledge, I'll break.
With no struggle.
No effort to fight back.
Confusion is the word in which describes me and how I feel.
About everything and about myself.
I wish I could feel real.
I'm sick of feeling fake.
I wish I could see clearly through my glass eye's.

I wish I could find a place where I belong.