jumbled up mess

dead in the mind
dead in the soul
confused to my bones
weary to the flesh
excuse this sorry mess
that i call poetry
its so jumbled up
and written awkwardly
that it makes no sense
to the world
means almost nothing to you
but means everything to me
i would have died
with no avenue of escape
helping me release
all the stress
all the pain
all the sorrow
all the worry
that i hide inside my body
no one sees the inside
the organs
the brain
the heart
the blood
no one cares to know the story
know the pain
know the history
know the weariness of waiting
for a solution
never meant to come
never meant to heal
only used to abuse
destroy
twist
capture
and torture
the person who i used to be
the one who was here before me
i rewrite every word i wrote
in different ways of use
making no sense
making no clear view
fogging the window
disrupting the message
and i can't do anything
except sit back and watch
my whole world dissapear