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"Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone"
The future's unwritten
The present is still
The past is forgotten
As we swallow our pills
Your feet tread water
I fall down in laughter
this was never part of my plan
into to open arms i ran.
We spoke of evolution
Trying to find a solution
There are cracks in the pavement
Blood in the ocean
dead on the freeway
Death was never part of my plan.
Your part of the problem
Not part of my past
You swim in quicksand
As time moves to fast
You attack me emotionally
A stab in the back of the hat
Abandoned poetry
diplomacy way off track.
Broken clocks stop time
Vultures pick the flesh of bones
We’ve never felt so lonely
Together alone.
The present is still
The past is forgotten
As we swallow our pills
Your feet tread water
I fall down in laughter
this was never part of my plan
into to open arms i ran.
We spoke of evolution
Trying to find a solution
There are cracks in the pavement
Blood in the ocean
dead on the freeway
Death was never part of my plan.
Your part of the problem
Not part of my past
You swim in quicksand
As time moves to fast
You attack me emotionally
A stab in the back of the hat
Abandoned poetry
diplomacy way off track.
Broken clocks stop time
Vultures pick the flesh of bones
We’ve never felt so lonely
Together alone.
Written by
zenithquasar77
(Marcus cooke)
Published 29th Oct 2012
| Edited 8th Nov 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 1
comments 16
reads 860
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
29th Oct 2012 3:27pm
re: Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
29th Oct 2012 3:29pm
Cheers Nikki, i would love to put some music to this
many thanks for reading
marcus
many thanks for reading
marcus
Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
29th Oct 2012 3:27pm
re: Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
29th Oct 2012 3:31pm
Cheers red well spotted, all sorted.
Many thanks for reading
cheers
marcus
Many thanks for reading
cheers
marcus
Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
Anonymous
- Edited 29th Oct 2012 3:53pm
29th Oct 2012 3:52pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
29th Oct 2012 3:55pm
Cheers my freind i havent wrote lyrics for ages so it was nice to get back into it even though i use the same process for writing a poem.
Glad you liked
cheers as always
marcus
Glad you liked
cheers as always
marcus
Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
29th Oct 2012 3:56pm
Ahhh how lonely one can still feel in the company of another. You should always keep perfectly still in quicksand, otherwise it will suck you under.
Great write and flow Marcus.
Great write and flow Marcus.
0
re: Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
29th Oct 2012 4:04pm
Thank you so much, i guess somtimes it is possible to feel more alone when you are with someone kind of like being lost in limbo.
Many thanks for reading
marcus
Many thanks for reading
marcus
Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
29th Oct 2012 4:36pm
Too many great lines for me to pick a favorite but the ending one is perfect. Great wonderful poem, Marcus, the kind many can relate to!
1
re: Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
29th Oct 2012 4:58pm
thanks faith it think the words are true somtimes you can feel more alone together.
any thanks for reading
marcus
any thanks for reading
marcus
Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
29th Oct 2012 6:14pm
another one of your great poems and i agree it would be good with music cheers
1
re: Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
29th Oct 2012 8:05pm
Cheers dude, yeagh im shure there is some dodgy local goth band i could talk into recording it lol
many thanks for reading
marcus
many thanks for reading
marcus
Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
29th Oct 2012 7:30pm
"Broken clocks stop time
Vultures pick the flesh of bones
We’ve never felt so lonely
Together alone."
Powerful piece! The above stanza cinches it up perfectly.Nice one Z.
Red
Vultures pick the flesh of bones
We’ve never felt so lonely
Together alone."
Powerful piece! The above stanza cinches it up perfectly.Nice one Z.
Red
1
re: Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
29th Oct 2012 8:06pm
Cheers red that means a lot, i think somtimes i think to much
many thanks
marcus
many thanks
marcus
Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
30th Oct 2012 2:52am
Very nice ! Other than some totally minor grammatical things this is well done, some beautiful lines, the last four, the first four....ahh fuck...really all of them ! ;)
1
re: Re: Abandoned Poetry No 1 - Together Alone
30th Oct 2012 5:33pm