Sunlight lies beyond the shadows, if you get up early enough to look

He mattered so much for so long
everything appeared to hinge on his approval
and now I’m not sure how to let go
of this loveless non-romance
that I’d built up in my head
so I never had to face myself
and the elongated fears
of tomorrow
stretched out like evening shadows
on an empty brick wall

I am not without love
though it’s not the kind of love
every lonely heart desires
and yet there is a weightlessness
in being set free from this dream
that has had its hands pressed against my windpipe
for far too many phases of the moon

The sun is bright and clear and it could have been forever
since I last cast my eyes out the window to see
the light dance upon the dew-dropped grass

Currents of blustering air turn my head towards a future
that is uncertain and unclear
yet I cannot keep the Cheshire smile from my lips
though my heart is both heavy and lightened
from this burden of loving someone
that doesn’t love me

He mattered so much for so long
and it took far too long to see
that I don’t need his love
or his approval
because I have the strength
if not always the courage
to stand alone
and face the future fearlessly
with hope

© Indie Adams 2012