deepundergroundpoetry.com
Follow the Road
Go ahead, join my collection.
I won't get hurt, I show no affection.
Apply like your part of the audience,
with the many rows of imperfect tense.
I can keep a distance,
I'll stay far behind,
My chances are left, my days are fined.
When your left for everything beneath,
Is it possible to be above the underneath
I won't get hurt, I show no affection.
Apply like your part of the audience,
with the many rows of imperfect tense.
I can keep a distance,
I'll stay far behind,
My chances are left, my days are fined.
When your left for everything beneath,
Is it possible to be above the underneath
Published 26th Oct 2012
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The author encourages honest critique.
26th Oct 2012 8:30pm
I like the ideas you have going here. I think you should expand this, and really work on narrowing the focus of the language. I had to read it a couple of times to get a idea of what you were going for. Also, you have a inconsistent rhyme scheme which is ok, but I do not feel is needed for this piece. Work on the theater analogy. I think you will have a lot of success with it.
