am i crazy

am I crazy?        
so I've been fucking told!        
       
I always thought I would save the world from pain.        
trying to keep our children from being fucked over and over again.        
literally        
       
I hear the screaming of the rabbits in my brain.        
finding it hard to differentiate my screams from theirs,        
I see me with that lead pipe as I bash his head to pulp, smashing his smug, all knowing smile        
       
I don't refrain from hearing the voices in my head,        
telling me kill, kill, kill him, smash him till he's dead.       
yet his evil ghosts still won't leave my mind.        
for gods sake daddy,   i see you awake and in my dreams        
       
my daddy loves me        
       
You'd be crazy too if you had to listen to your father fucking anything that moves         
       
Or try watching movies at the drive-in with your parents        
kids in the back seat        
Clothes your eyes kids        
NO WALT FUCKING DISNEY for us        
the documentary about sadism and masochism playing in our ears                     
it's only for adults      
LIARS        
like my father really needs instruction        
       
Try living with the crawling hand worse than the movie one.   Sit on my lap cream puff, wheres the vasoline?        
god, I hate the non smell of vasoline, his lotion of choice.        
       
Oh mama mama, where for art thou mama?        
mamas cooking, cleaning, going to church.        
praying to god for my evil soul?        
       
Using your self blinding manipulations!        
your Black hole in your memory mama ?       
you are the BLACK HOLE!       
       
What? you cant see daddy in the cars middle seat?        
smothering me because I bite hard?     
smashing my lips with a hand full of        
'This will hurt me more than you daughter'        
   
Now i get to wear a permanant crack in my lip to forever remind me of our LOVING family camping trips.        
THATS RIGHT DADDY!  I'LL BITE THAT MOTHER FUCKER RIGHT OFF        
       
mama stops the car, so I can puke his cream of the crop    
out the door        
watch it, shaunda        
those could be your future  brothers or sisters.        
FOR GODS SAKE HOW MANY MORE DOES HE NEED        
       
move every six months so no one sees the monster for our father        
       
i gladly pee and shit in a can in my closet because the bathroom is no longer safe,      
I see you waiting in the dark living room daddy        
I'D RATHER SHIT AND EAT IT before I use that bathroom again.        
       
what? if i dont let you do me,   You'll get my baby sister?        
and when I hear her screams, I'll know it shoulda been me!        
       
dont tell on daddy or hell go to prison        
who'll take care of us then        
we'll all be adopted out, never to see each other again        
       
liar liar pants on fire        
get me in the sack        
beat it blue and black        
   
as daddy smuggly smiles        
and mama hides her eyes        
       
I can't take it        
every day,  every minute        
I'm so afraid.        
so i'll just slit his throat while he sleeps        
       
im just a little girl        
im so alone      
please help me god  
 
God must be asleep  
WAKE UP GOD PLEASSSSSE  
gods too tired        
       
And mama wants to know how I ever got this crazy?        
Well fuck you mama and the dick you rode in on.        
       
I cant take it anymore        
my brain is cracking from all the people screaming in my head        
Saying I'm better off dead        
     
am i fucking crazy?      
so ive been fucking told!        
       
And I smile...........