Valhalla 500

Accessed through blood. Valhalla or Walhalla where I am would be a place for the young(er) folk killed in battle so I like how the first and last lines link. I like the philosophy in wanting and the barbed flowers. Devotion-puctured skin. Great pictures. Quite a tough old poem really. Didn't get it on the first read but it all slots nicely together now. It's not hectic like it appeared with the first read. Nice way to get it down. I'll take this, partly for the sharp imagery but mainly for its execution.

Golden mr.a. I have been fascinated by the concept of a heaven for warriors, just fighting and drinking. Seems pretty decent to me, and couldnt help but coincide this with a real junkys persuit of their moderatly obtained paradise...wrote a bunch with this idea, the car and road analogy seemed to be the strongest for me right now. Thanks much sir

Mr. A said it, and then some...nice lightbaron

strider

Dig it..much appreciated Strider

Baron,

so let's do this. :]

"Valhalla 500

[the allusion. i love the air of mystery
which you create around your work. 500
here made me be at a lack of ease. squirm
and raise an eye brow. think hard. full marks
there.

Valhalla is a strong word itself. brings
tons of images with itself. fair play, there.]


any heaven worth knowing    
is accessed through blood    

[solid. we start the journey 20 meters down  
the surface where the crust is impenetrable.
heavy and yet familiar. this tangible bridge
between a proposed heaven and blood places
itself as an anchor from where the rest falls
into place.]  
 
the road to devotion    
tolled by tellers, who never see a pale face    
unless to pluck their barbed flowers,    
has more curves than straight-aways    


['toll', i feel can be replaced. something more
visceral. we are shooting big guns here.
 
the rest is gold.potent imagery that sets the
scene even better. a very fine second base.]
 
but, the planes when ridden    
iron out the kinks in fabric    
to single threads    
each with a dish of warm milk    
each straightened out enough    
to vanish    
 
['dish of warm milk' is the elusive bugger
here. vanish could not have been put to
better use.]


everyday appears again    

[a simple and profound statement. used well.]
 
bones ache from want    
blood yells outside the window    
of unrequited love    

[clinical and strong. especially, 'bones']
 
a car is stolen to reacquaint    
with the road    
the motors fuel    
registered  
and plunged into release    

[apostrophe's? i feel so. not very confident
with 'plunge'. just me.]
 
the carburetors open    
the paradise of throttle
forgets of the scars
from barbed flowers    

[lovely imagery here. a mind like cronenberg
will have an ahh-gasm at something like this.
very avant-garde.]  
 
the road to devotion    
is paved in punctured skin    

[white gold. high point.]
 
the only heaven worth knowing    
is accessed through blood

[repetition works wonderfully. loop.]

a very fine write. not universally accessible,
but when done with caution, it grows on you.
some heavy images and crypts in there.

well played. keep them coming.x

sumeet

Bold and abundant thank you's...wasn't sure how cryptic or accessible this was. Didn't want to give too much away, as that write has been done to death. "plunge" was used as a littled clue, though it could also reference the piston in a motor (if you didn't know, the part that pushes down in a hypodermic needle.is the plunger). Perhaps too forced, and don't love the way it sounds so thank you for pointing to that. I was fairly happy how I combined a few ideas here, and almost think I should take out of drugs cat.

Pretty cool stuff

Pretty cool of ya to say, thanks