Yarmulke Pt.1 (in the voice of L David, S  Silverman, H Stern, W Allen etc)

y`all should know that the average Jewish Person is about as similar to an Orthodox Jew as a Wall-Street Methodist is to a buggy-rollin` Amish Farmer.  
 
hey kids,    
99.8 percent of you AINT Jewish  
so, have fun googlin` the Hi-Lited words!  
I`ll happily field any questions to the best of my    
limited ability......................  
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Self-Loving Jew    
    
NO ---    
   
that is NOT an oxymoron !    
As a People,    
We are INGENIUS ----    
    
for instance....      
Take the Yarmulke ----      
    
Please!    
    
Jewish elders had huge forsight      
(but NO foreskins)    
They intuitively knew that,      
though not yet re-discovered      
due to the Great Flood......  
      
(personally, I thought it was    
an absolutely AWFUL flood)  
    
....there were far flung lands      
teeming with people who      
could be educated into    
the Righteous Faith of Abraham.    
    
These sage Rabbis were also aware,    
that due to the Collapse    
of the Tower of Babble,      
the languages of these people      
would be very different than    
the wet, kvetching sigh of cCHebrew.    
    
So Talmudic Rebbes named our    
Sexy, Iconic Skull Cap    
The Yarmulke  
   
(Yah-muh-kah)    
   
They emphasized a silent r AND silent L.........    
a prediction of Nostrodamical proportions    
in anticipation of easing it`s      
pronunciation during      
the EPIC JAPANESE EXODUS to Judaism.....    
      
......of course      
we are still waiting for our    
Far-Eastern friends  to do so...    
    
....howevah.....    
    
compared to the massive, seemingly      
endless DMV-Like queue for the MESSIAH,    
it`s a mere 5th-car-in-line at the      
Cosmic Burger King of Temporal Reality.    
    
On second thought..    
considering that Japanese men    
would have to be the "patient"    
in a bliss....  
err...  
Briss...  
accept cut    
of the Mohel`s    
hopefully sharp Mila  
in a surgical sacrifice      
of a portion of their penises,    
often witnessed by an entire minion,    
AND their hot dates.  
   
the delay of the    
Rising Sun      
[b]Six Million [/b]Man March    
to conversion      
may indeed be    
Messianic.    
   
......although one can certainly  
picture our Japanese bredrin    
GLOWING  
(not neccesarily with pride....)  
as the girth of their manhood is reduced.  
      ----------------------------------------------  
   
oy,    
G*D of my Fathers,  
Forgive Me......    
    
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