my sad trip to happiness

I must say I had a few bad years
In this time I shed many tears
I started with a rise in my anger
And nearly ended when my life was in danger
Saw many doctors who tried many things
But through it all my sadness still sings
Woke up one morning, I had lost my way
I took off running hoping for a better day
I received a phone call, where are you?
I was far away sad and blue
Everyone asked me to come home soon
When I did was put in a padded room
Many tests were taken, my blood was drawn
And the sadness got greater everyday near dawn
The drugs were given in bottles dark brown
Didn’t come up, I went further down
I went on like things were alright
But life was getting further from my sight
I started to hoard all my pills
Because you know medicine can kill
Then the day came, could not take more
Went in my bedroom and I locked the door
I poured them all over the table
One at a time I took them as able
Laid on the bed waiting for the end
Closed my eyes and prayed for angels to be sent
All of my thoughts disappeared like the light
Sadness is back I survived the night
There I was in the hospital again
Holy people say what I am doing is a sin
Bet they can’t hear the voices in my head
Telling me you will be better off dead
After a week and some new meds
I was back home to the life that I dread
I opened the mail it got me all wired
The message said that I had been fired
My wife who thinks she is the problem
Says she wants a divorce, me away from her children
I went in garage wondering what was to come
I turned on my truck and let the motor run
Once again it didn’t work
Back to the hospital and more blood work
This time nothing could be done
They sent me elsewhere for the electric one
Got on a gurney, took a short trip
I was knocked out and shocked a bit
I have to say my sadness lifted a little
But at my sanity it started to whittle
This happen several more times
Hooking me up to the electric lines
They finished this up gave me new drugs
Walked me to the door and gave me hugs
But the voices are saying there is more to come
Once again I decided to run
Gone for many days, no one knew where
Hoping for death I didn’t care
I ended up in a new hospital this time
They gave me strong drugs and said things would be fine
I went through life for several years
I was so drugged I could barely hear
Then one day sick and tired, I stopped the pills
Life for me is now all uphill
The worst I thought would be falling off the track
I was just hoping to come back
Within a few months I was feeling fine
Living my life again like it was all mine
I am back to work, living alone
I have found love so far full blown
I think about this trip everyday
Someday return it may
But for now I live one day at a time
Because once again this life is mine