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< a wonderful life >
Solid iron primitive steel
before they got to you
so refined
you
your face
you using it as a brush, a pencil
a stuttering picture
a movie manipulated freeze frame
solid iron
never a thought of fragile
before you broke
or me or it or they
NOT fragile
you
you standing there
NEVER fragile
just a few moments before this
a solid iron primitive steel
before they got to you
so refined there
you
your face
you using it as a brush, a pencil
a pen, a stylus of moos manic
but never you
never you as freeze frames
as manipulated frames
slow motion solid iron
never a thought of fragile
before you broke
before it broke
breakable
before i broke
me not YOU
iron primitive steel
just you
just a few
just a few moments before this
NOT fragile
solid iron before they got to you
so refined
standing
standing there
you
your face
you using it as a brush
a brush painting: < a wonderful life >.
- - -
[/font]
before they got to you
so refined
you
your face
you using it as a brush, a pencil
a stuttering picture
a movie manipulated freeze frame
solid iron
never a thought of fragile
before you broke
or me or it or they
NOT fragile
you
you standing there
NEVER fragile
just a few moments before this
a solid iron primitive steel
before they got to you
so refined there
you
your face
you using it as a brush, a pencil
a pen, a stylus of moos manic
but never you
never you as freeze frames
as manipulated frames
slow motion solid iron
never a thought of fragile
before you broke
before it broke
breakable
before i broke
me not YOU
iron primitive steel
just you
just a few
just a few moments before this
NOT fragile
solid iron before they got to you
so refined
standing
standing there
you
your face
you using it as a brush
a brush painting: < a wonderful life >.
- - -
[/font]
Published 4th Aug 2012
| Edited 28th Dec 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 2
comments 9
reads 1265
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
4th Aug 2012 12:58pm
Anonymous
4th Aug 2012 2:19pm
Format write good Lemmy.
Strider
Strider
4th Aug 2012 4:29pm
Incredible, you had me reading both directions at the same time....really stable and solid. Very powerful. There is a point where things can get muddy if the form over saturates, but you pulled up at exactly the right moment. Terse and complete.
4th Aug 2012 5:56pm
Holy crap, that's a pulse-racing read. It all jumbles together manically, or perhaps maniacally, probably both, and then it throws you down the damn rapids with no raft, and it's really effective. The repetition is well done.
And the way you used the SHAPE as a form was kickass, too. The visual was awesome.
And the way you used the SHAPE as a form was kickass, too. The visual was awesome.
5th Aug 2012 5:49am
wonderful life'like rapidfire theme[of]variations,
like automatic
weapons
spitting they's cold'metal death
in this gunLovin great
Nation where every realMan outta have
a steely death'phallus t'keep his cock straight...
like automatic
weapons
spitting they's cold'metal death
in this gunLovin great
Nation where every realMan outta have
a steely death'phallus t'keep his cock straight...
5th Aug 2012 8:12am
5th Aug 2012 1:29pm
goodgracious!
waddle thee naybors say?
---
&like aye belong't' the
Delta of Venus----yknow, 'taken' (tho ethereally)
butt
eye'preciate thee senti'ment of It All---
waddle thee naybors say?
---
&like aye belong't' the
Delta of Venus----yknow, 'taken' (tho ethereally)
butt
eye'preciate thee senti'ment of It All---
"No man ever tastes of the same delta twice; for it's never the same delta and it's never the same man."
- Ηράκλειτος
- Ηράκλειτος
30th Apr 2016 4:56pm
This one drew me in, a love poem but more, had to read it again, then again...
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/63005-a-wonderful-life/
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/63005-a-wonderful-life/
