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Night of Sorrows
- Night of Sorrows -
Prologue: Silent Tears
You cannot hear my weeping just from written verse…
But the heartbreak I have suffered in life, does compel,
My hand to pen what I must, for I feel like I will burst!
There are moments when it seems this world is a hell…
And those who ever hurt me must then be the damned.
Within me lies my innocence, the joys they try to steal,
The song I strive to sing as if it were a divine command.
I must not be silenced, and I must show how I do feel!
So I sing on, even through the depths of my sadness…
I pluck my lyre, and my music becomes a dear prayer.
Why is it sometimes so difficult, to embrace gladness?
It is because life sometimes hurts us until we beware…
Fearing the harm, we wonder if we can ever be happy.
I too wonder as only a true warrior queen can ponder!
But I know that my soul is safe, and retains its’ dignity.
Tonight I shall not slumber, let words be my thunder…
And let the truth of my heart, be the sword I do wield!
This night of sorrows has not the power to destroy me.
I bear the light within me wherein its’ flame is sealed…
Those who would wound me are blind and cannot see,
That: their words cannot break my will, my great shield.
Part One: Wretched Souls
This night, the owl did cry and my tears fell most hard,
Like rivers forming into seas, that cry my lamentations.
I am forsaken, called a harlot when I am a gentle bard,
And only the crickets join me in this eve’s celebrations.
What caused my sorrow was the sting of ugly words…
Spoken by a cruel soul who understands not my heart.
That one bellows, still, like the harsh call of blackbirds!
Even as I write, trying to ease the pain, of every dart…
Thrown at me from the mouth of one who is truly cold.
That I once called her like a mother to me, with caring,
Makes her hatred of me as worthless as is rotting mold.
Even that horrible image is more graceful in comparing,
Than that corrupt person, that hypocrite of wicked sin!
Even those who fell from Heaven at least have honor…
She has none and I must ignore her bigoted, noisy din.
Can she even fathom, the old wounds she makes stir?
Like a mad dog she is, constantly barking and panting.
Let animals be animals then, and I shall be above they,
Who have degenerated: far from love by evil ranting…
Until I can see utter darkness, and it blots out the day!
So many wretched souls exist in Earth’s dark corners,
That take enjoyment from the suffering that they enact.
Such ones will pass without joyful fanfare or mourners,
For their sick heaven, was in savoring every cruel act!
I despise such evil, for I have been victimized so often…
Bullied and pushed, prodded and driven unto breaking,
By they: who would rather I be laid down into a coffin.
But I have survived; my life is not theirs, for the taking!
Part Two: Gentle Music
I try to create a paradise within the dark, an Elysium…
For, even in the midst of Hell, there is such a paradise.
And so I listen to music fit for the Celestial Kingdom…
Whilst it soothes my soul with the most tender device,
That being, the feeling of love that this world so lacks.
A maiden sings, and in her voice is youth, tenderness!
The opposite of those: whose words become attacks.
I was once an angel, but fate can be a cruel mistress…
Let the music play on, for I have sorrows to expunge!
With every note let my spirit journey far from torment.
Even should every devil suddenly, at my throat lunge,
I must remain steady, as is water carried to a torrent!
The fireflies I long to see are not in my garden tonight.
And were it not for the night birds I would now weep,
For this has been a season of hardship devoid of light.
Oh, would that I could just one perfect moment keep!
If I could tear evil from the world, to cut such cancer…
And make all souls filled with their intended goodness,
I would; but there is never in life so easy of an answer.
My spirit is angelic still as I search for my divine bliss!
How many, have I been a guardian for: and a friend…
For some a lover, for others a sister or even a mother!
My whole existence has been a quest that has no end,
But I could not ever turn from it, to take up any other.
This is my fate, to be selfless where all others cannot!
I know that there is no respite on the journey I travel,
So I seek pleasure and serenity in deed and in thought.
Even should the fabric of the universe begin to unravel!
Part Three: Night Prayer
Oh mother night, why can I find no comfort with you?
For though the arms of evening enfold me like a lover…
You cannot ease me, when the old agonies fast ensue.
Yet you try to help me forget so my soul can recover!
Beneath the sparkling stars I can imagine another age,
One in which prejudice does not exist and love reigns.
A good memory, that calms my soul, lessens my rage,
And through its’ virtue allows me to cast off my pains.
Why did the gods tear the wings from my noble back?
I look at their children, those mortals that do wrong…
And in their doings, I see only an abyss emptily black!
I cannot save them, even with my most beautiful song.
People and gods do evil and there is no reason why…
I shall not seek one, for they deserve not my attention.
The wicked, mock divine will, and do true glory defy!
I am not bound either to them or to stifling convention.
Oh mother night I must be strong, for those blessed…
They: having good hearts, kind souls and compassion.
It was for such as they that I, of old, fought and bled!
I shall endure, and try to muster a cheerful expression.
I am a warrior weary of fighting and yet I fight eternal,
A queen without a kingdom, and no crown to wear…
I was a warrior angel, one fallen and become infernal!
Yet I do the right thing, and my knowledge I do share.
Perhaps I suffer, because I feel so deeply, with mercy,
But that is also my salvation, and keeps me most well.
I must continue to stand for freedom, love, and liberty,
Even when all the storm clouds gather: for me to quell.
Prologue: Silent Tears
You cannot hear my weeping just from written verse…
But the heartbreak I have suffered in life, does compel,
My hand to pen what I must, for I feel like I will burst!
There are moments when it seems this world is a hell…
And those who ever hurt me must then be the damned.
Within me lies my innocence, the joys they try to steal,
The song I strive to sing as if it were a divine command.
I must not be silenced, and I must show how I do feel!
So I sing on, even through the depths of my sadness…
I pluck my lyre, and my music becomes a dear prayer.
Why is it sometimes so difficult, to embrace gladness?
It is because life sometimes hurts us until we beware…
Fearing the harm, we wonder if we can ever be happy.
I too wonder as only a true warrior queen can ponder!
But I know that my soul is safe, and retains its’ dignity.
Tonight I shall not slumber, let words be my thunder…
And let the truth of my heart, be the sword I do wield!
This night of sorrows has not the power to destroy me.
I bear the light within me wherein its’ flame is sealed…
Those who would wound me are blind and cannot see,
That: their words cannot break my will, my great shield.
Part One: Wretched Souls
This night, the owl did cry and my tears fell most hard,
Like rivers forming into seas, that cry my lamentations.
I am forsaken, called a harlot when I am a gentle bard,
And only the crickets join me in this eve’s celebrations.
What caused my sorrow was the sting of ugly words…
Spoken by a cruel soul who understands not my heart.
That one bellows, still, like the harsh call of blackbirds!
Even as I write, trying to ease the pain, of every dart…
Thrown at me from the mouth of one who is truly cold.
That I once called her like a mother to me, with caring,
Makes her hatred of me as worthless as is rotting mold.
Even that horrible image is more graceful in comparing,
Than that corrupt person, that hypocrite of wicked sin!
Even those who fell from Heaven at least have honor…
She has none and I must ignore her bigoted, noisy din.
Can she even fathom, the old wounds she makes stir?
Like a mad dog she is, constantly barking and panting.
Let animals be animals then, and I shall be above they,
Who have degenerated: far from love by evil ranting…
Until I can see utter darkness, and it blots out the day!
So many wretched souls exist in Earth’s dark corners,
That take enjoyment from the suffering that they enact.
Such ones will pass without joyful fanfare or mourners,
For their sick heaven, was in savoring every cruel act!
I despise such evil, for I have been victimized so often…
Bullied and pushed, prodded and driven unto breaking,
By they: who would rather I be laid down into a coffin.
But I have survived; my life is not theirs, for the taking!
Part Two: Gentle Music
I try to create a paradise within the dark, an Elysium…
For, even in the midst of Hell, there is such a paradise.
And so I listen to music fit for the Celestial Kingdom…
Whilst it soothes my soul with the most tender device,
That being, the feeling of love that this world so lacks.
A maiden sings, and in her voice is youth, tenderness!
The opposite of those: whose words become attacks.
I was once an angel, but fate can be a cruel mistress…
Let the music play on, for I have sorrows to expunge!
With every note let my spirit journey far from torment.
Even should every devil suddenly, at my throat lunge,
I must remain steady, as is water carried to a torrent!
The fireflies I long to see are not in my garden tonight.
And were it not for the night birds I would now weep,
For this has been a season of hardship devoid of light.
Oh, would that I could just one perfect moment keep!
If I could tear evil from the world, to cut such cancer…
And make all souls filled with their intended goodness,
I would; but there is never in life so easy of an answer.
My spirit is angelic still as I search for my divine bliss!
How many, have I been a guardian for: and a friend…
For some a lover, for others a sister or even a mother!
My whole existence has been a quest that has no end,
But I could not ever turn from it, to take up any other.
This is my fate, to be selfless where all others cannot!
I know that there is no respite on the journey I travel,
So I seek pleasure and serenity in deed and in thought.
Even should the fabric of the universe begin to unravel!
Part Three: Night Prayer
Oh mother night, why can I find no comfort with you?
For though the arms of evening enfold me like a lover…
You cannot ease me, when the old agonies fast ensue.
Yet you try to help me forget so my soul can recover!
Beneath the sparkling stars I can imagine another age,
One in which prejudice does not exist and love reigns.
A good memory, that calms my soul, lessens my rage,
And through its’ virtue allows me to cast off my pains.
Why did the gods tear the wings from my noble back?
I look at their children, those mortals that do wrong…
And in their doings, I see only an abyss emptily black!
I cannot save them, even with my most beautiful song.
People and gods do evil and there is no reason why…
I shall not seek one, for they deserve not my attention.
The wicked, mock divine will, and do true glory defy!
I am not bound either to them or to stifling convention.
Oh mother night I must be strong, for those blessed…
They: having good hearts, kind souls and compassion.
It was for such as they that I, of old, fought and bled!
I shall endure, and try to muster a cheerful expression.
I am a warrior weary of fighting and yet I fight eternal,
A queen without a kingdom, and no crown to wear…
I was a warrior angel, one fallen and become infernal!
Yet I do the right thing, and my knowledge I do share.
Perhaps I suffer, because I feel so deeply, with mercy,
But that is also my salvation, and keeps me most well.
I must continue to stand for freedom, love, and liberty,
Even when all the storm clouds gather: for me to quell.
Published 1st Aug 2012
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1st Aug 2012 1:26pm
Sorrow stemming from wrongs done; a loneliness at a height; the nobleness of thoughts made mundane by mundane minds; with that angels become earthbound and harpies fly. Thats how I see your poem, Jessica: a lamentation of sorts.
A very, very intelligent, and exceptionally perceptive, observation my dear friend! Much of what you see is there indeed, and something of what I was feeling when I was writing this poem. Recently, I lost someone who was quite dear to me, whom I was very fond of. And a person in my immediate family was very cold and cruel to me over that loss, even bringing up old hurts and pains to rub salt in the wound so to speak. So I thought of that when I wrote this, and of all the darker things my soul has experienced throughout each life I have lived... and I lamented that I experienced so many tragedies and that some were so cruel to me. Sometimes I do indeed feel like an earthbound angel, and mayhap that is destiny, but even so as it was at the end of the poem... I can only lament for so long and thence I look for the light of joy and happiness once again. As is my spirit's want, to do. Thanks for commenting, too! I am always most happy to read your thoughts on my writings.
