deepundergroundpoetry.com
Bi-Polar
I'm the girl who is lost in space,
the girl who is disappearing always,
forever
fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. Someday I will
suddenly leave,
but the artificial warmth of my smile,
that phony,
clownish curve,
the kind you see on miserably sad people and villains in Disney movies,
will remain behind as an ironic remnant.
I am the girl you see in the photograph from some party someplace or church,
the one who is in fact soon to be gone.
When you look at the picture again,
I want to assure you,
I will no longer be there.
I will be erased from history,
like a traitor,
because with every day that goes by,
I feel myself becoming more and more invisible.
the girl who is disappearing always,
forever
fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. Someday I will
suddenly leave,
but the artificial warmth of my smile,
that phony,
clownish curve,
the kind you see on miserably sad people and villains in Disney movies,
will remain behind as an ironic remnant.
I am the girl you see in the photograph from some party someplace or church,
the one who is in fact soon to be gone.
When you look at the picture again,
I want to assure you,
I will no longer be there.
I will be erased from history,
like a traitor,
because with every day that goes by,
I feel myself becoming more and more invisible.
Published 26th Jul 2012
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The author encourages honest critique.
26th Jul 2012 6:19pm
wow, i really like this. i think it captures a powerful theme of depression; the loss of self. I cannot help but be reminded of the character Hal Incandenza from the novel Infinite Jest. I really like 'I am the girl you see in the photograph from some party someplace or chruch, / the one who is in fact soon to be gone'. It is imagery we can all immediately relate to, we've all seen pictures with random people in the background, but shifted the focus from figure to ground.
Also, this poem forces us to think about how much of our 'self' is really locked up in other peoples' minds.
I must say the ending left me wanting. I think it is the word 'because' in the second to last line, as if the whole powerful middle of the poem is just a consequence of feeling invisible, instead of a profound representation of it. (I hope that makes sense).
I also think the first line is not up to par with the rest of the poem. maybe just start out with: 'I am the girl who is disapearing always,'.
Anyway, really well done!
Also, this poem forces us to think about how much of our 'self' is really locked up in other peoples' minds.
I must say the ending left me wanting. I think it is the word 'because' in the second to last line, as if the whole powerful middle of the poem is just a consequence of feeling invisible, instead of a profound representation of it. (I hope that makes sense).
I also think the first line is not up to par with the rest of the poem. maybe just start out with: 'I am the girl who is disapearing always,'.
Anyway, really well done!
12th Sep 2012 6:31pm
I agree with eczeno's comments; makes you want for more. Maybe add some more lines or another stanza. This poem reminds me of my GF who is not only bi-polar being a Gemini as she is, but she also has multiple personalities.
21st Sep 2012 5:07pm
26th Dec 2014 6:49am
The extreme lows, bone crushing and heart cutting. the unnatural "high" of being bi polar is seemingly not a fair trade. I appreciate you sharing this, very powerful and moving.
